Work Day and Kids Play--7/11/10 Recap--Did you know? Kate does it ALL!

This episode is called Work Day and Kids Play, but hysterically, TLC doesn’t put an episode title on the screen like they just did for the episode before it. They just tell us it’s “Day 3.”

Haha, I wonder if they felt kind of stupid still insisting that Kate is working and the kids are playing after they were called on that about a million times. If the kids aren’t working, why did they obtain permits for them the last time they filmed them in New York?

Kate is “running this house by myself.” The hell she is. She’s going to make a manual for herself to help run it. I don’t even get that, nor do I want to try to understand. I mean, I guess I get making it for someone caring for your house while you’re in New York. But for yourself? You live there! In chapter one she will explain to herself how the hose doesn’t reach the picnic table.

I was a nanny once for someone who always denied she had a nanny. Two nannies. She even told a magazine once that her husband just watches the kids. It was hurtful. Because me and the weekday nanny made her house run. And her kids would be fat and watching Spongebob all day failing all their classes if it weren’t for the two of us providing them with fun and educational daily activities. I remember one Saturday me and the boys made bread from scratch, washed every car parked in their driveway (there were about five), went to Little League practice then did the week’s grocery shopping, and read a couple chapters in their book. Then I tucked them into bed with hugs and kisses. It was a good day. I wonder if it is similarily hurtful to the many people who have worked for or continue to work for Kate that she keeps telling us she is doing all of this all by herself, every last bit of it.

I wonder how much Kate thinks she can brag about her huge mansion and how hard it is to take care of it before the last few remaining fans of hers finally quit.

When something breaks and Kate has to call someone, she wants to know:
1. What did you do?
2. Why did it do it?
3. Is it going to do it again?
4. If it does how do I fix it?

I bet you maintenance people all around eastern PA just can’t wait until something breaks at her house.

“Quiet!!!” Kate screams to the kids. “I’m in charge and that’s never gonna change, so shush!” Eh, me thinks that will change. Soon. Tick-tock. Hey, remember that 18th birthday countdown a couple blogs used to have for the Olsen twins? It was kinda funny. I’m going to make one for these kids in the sidebar. Only ours is a countdown to freedom from HER.

Jamie, the “Water Filtration Consultant,” not to be confused with Jamie “the new best friend” awkwardly steps into the room at this very moment. People that have no self-awareness invite people into the house while they are screaming at their kids. They also might film this all.

“Who cares?!” a child shouts. I‘m pretty sure it‘s Mady. Mady, we ask that every day.

Kate makes the water guy feel even more awkward by yelling at him where to stand and telling him he can’t put his toolbox on the table. Is he doing this for her for free?

Kate explains their water doesn’t taste good. Well, that’s what you get sometimes when you move to a rural area. My cousins live an hour outside Chicago and while their house is absolutely gorgeous, huge, and probably at least half the price they would pay in many other places, their water tastes like slime. Absolute sewage. There is nothing they can do. Nothing except buy lots of bottled water. It’s a tradeoff.

Kate’s water softener is working, he explains. Of course it is. It’s just probably not working good enough for Kate. Clearly he doesn’t know her.

Jamie tells Kate it’s easy to take care of her water system. Easier than dancing. Tee-hee, good one! Kate can’t take a joke though and snaps, “don’t make comparisons like that!” Geez.

Mady and Cara gather the eggs and only come up with one good one. This is a good activity for them. It’s peaceful out there, and it’s away from Kate.

This is rich. Kate is willing to spend whatever it takes to buy landscaping that will block the paparazzi from seeing the kids out front. But clearly the one thing she’s not willing to do is take them off T.V. She has convinced herself that T.V. has nothing to do with it. This happens when you are narcissistic and want everything to fit in with the twisted way you see your world.

There is just one hired gun taking daily photos of her right now and we‘ve learned his name is Chris. I have a few questions for Kate. How did Chris end up on an island to catch you at the Statute of Liberty? How did Chris get pictures of the chicken coop, which is out back? How does Chris know to show up at Target and Giant to snap you shopping but is never seen anywhere else? And was it Chris whom Tony tweeted he went out to lunch with? Was it Chris who got into a limo with you once? Juuuuuust wondering.

Oh, one more thing. Kate’s own quote in her own book I Just Want you to Know, is, “I truly enjoy the media.” It’s not me speculating she enjoys this attention. She said so herself. She loves it. She loves it more than her kids’ privacy, that’s for sure.

Oh, there’s Steve. Who is he body guarding?

As many have speculated, they probably want these trees so blogs like us won’t be able to document as easily how much they are exploiting the Dionne kids….sorry, Freudian slip! Gosselin!

Some more people come to spray wash the house and Kate is still gabbing about her stupid manual. I give it six weeks before somebody publishes this drivel. More questions for Kate: With all these people roaming the property helping her out, how does she figure she is doing this by herself?

Kate is awfully concerned about the kids touching the power hose and even makes Collin draw a chalk line near it so they won‘t go over there. But she wasn’t concerned about Alexis using a power screwdriver to build the chicken coop? I don’t think she was even there--she went inside to “cool off.“ If it’s fine for a six-year-old to use power tools, why did TLC cut this scene out at the last minute? Wonder if a set teacher or child advocate on a set would allow children to be around a hot and dangerous power washer or use power tools. The interesting truth is that real films use stunt doubles when a child so much as has to jump into a haystack. It is not worth the backlash if a child actor ever got hurt doing something remotely dangerous. Think about it, do you ever hear about children being hurt on a set? No. But you do see kids doing lots of dangerous stunts in the movies. That’s because it’s all fake. But those set rules don’t apply to this set.

Just a really quick story from a set I was on. There was a scene with some guns. They had some kind of blanks in them, not too dangerous. The handler in charge of the guns was so hyper protective of the guns for safety reasons. He wouldn’t let anyone touch them or even go near them. They were brought out only for the scene then quickly given back to him between takes. It was taken very seriously. Unloaded guns! They take even the slightest possible danger on sets very, very seriously.

Collin goes to ask Kate how to get his car across the hose. Kate snaps, “Can you just go? Okay bye-bye! Everywhere I go I’m mommied to death.” Collin retreats, his question unanswered.

Collin goes back to the cars and the kids and tries to figure out this problem and still can’t. He goes back to Kate a second time. This time Kate screeches, “Your snack and popsicles are coming I have to pee please let me go!”

Collin starts crying. Aw, baby. Finally, no idea how long later, Kate tells him he can just drive over the hose. For pity sake.

Kate stands around watching everybody else do the work at her house. Kate finally tries out the hose a bit, and is totally rude about it and then screeches, of course.

Mady and Cara are back gathering eggs. They find one. One. I don’t know if the cost-benefit of this coop is going to pay off the way Kate thinks it will.

Yawn, Kate is inside and explains her manual. Who’s watching the kids? They bought sixteen hens? That coop is not that big! Seriously how many hens do they suggest for that little thing?

Oh, my God. The hens pecked the rooster and there is blood. For those who didn’t grow up in rural America as I did, chickens will peck and peck at a chicken that is different than them until they kill it. Just like kids will peck and peck at a kid different than them. I hope school is going okay for these poor exploited kids.

Kate needs therapy, I’ll say it. “There’s possibly some irony? We’ve got issues with roosters.” It’s not funny. It’s an insult on the children’s father. Are you telling me the children will never watch the show and never hear that? Never insult your children’s parent, there isn‘t a therapist out there licensed or not who would say that‘s okay. It is incredibly hard on kids. It causes horribly confused loyalties. And eventually kids will realize that half of them came from that parent and will wonder if Mommy really loves Daddy’s half. It’s obvious to anyone with the emotional maturity of a slug how sick and twisted it is to do this to your kids, I need not go on.

The real irony is Jon actually was hen-pecked to death and that’s why he couldn’t take it anymore. Now she has no one to hen peck but the children, and eventually they won’t be able to take it anymore either.

They are gathering eggs and Kate holds up a small egg and at first says, see this one that’s smaller this is a new egg! I start hysterically laughing, because it sounds like Kate actually thinks that eggs start off small and then grow if you water them a little. Then she corrects herself and says this is laid by a new, young chicken who is small. Ha, that makes more sense.

“Excuse me children we’re in chicken school!” Kate shouts. Remind me never to send my kids to that school.

“I don’t want to do it. I know how to do it!” Mady snaps irritably. Once again Mady is right on. Mady is the one going out to the chickens to tend them. We saw her do it twice already with a smile on her face, no Kate in sight. Kate can’t just breeze in and try to exert control of a situation that she had nothing to do with in the past and expect everyone to go along, especially when Mady has been the one doing the actual work this whole time. Mady probably knows way more than Kate when it comes to the chickens anyway. Once again, point Mady. And Kate sucks.

I really can’t stand people like that, you know? People that breeze in and tell you what to do then breeze out but never actually pull their weight in anything. A lot of jobs have people like this. These people are lazy and never make it past middle management. Or past being a washed-up reality star. These people feel better about themselves by pretending you’ve done nothing and know nothing and they know it all and have done it all.

The kids are struggling with the hose again. “I’m about to go crazy I need to get out of here!” Kate bemoans. “I just can’t take it! It’s like working with a bunch of …. Kindergartners!“ She actually screams. She finally goes over to the hose herself like I suggested she do last episode. Kate later tells us on the couch she didn’t mean that. But what’s more important is did she cuddle her kids and kiss them and explain to them she didn't mean that?

She reminds us it “all rests on me. All, all, all.” No it fucking doesn’t, Kate. Shut up already.

Kate made all kinds of egg dishes for dinner. Ew, egg salad on a hamburger roll? Sure enough, “First dinner was disgusting,” Mady tells us. Cara, bless her little heart, says she loved it.

And you know why Mady is the best child in the world? Because even though she really thought the dinner was disgusting, she doesn‘t tell Kate that. Instead she says, “We‘re very, very appreciate when you make stuff for us.”

Some people think this line was scripted. I don’t at all, and here’s why. Mady is sick of this shit. She’s beating to her drum now. I simply do not believe Mady would be willing to say a line, any line, for the cameras. She’s gonna say what she’s gonna say and if you don’t like it, you can edit it out. She’s a wonderful, intelligent child who doesn‘t deserve to lose her privacy like this. Sad.