Be sure to tune in next spring to Frontline for David Sutherland's newest project, Kind Hearted Woman, about Oglala Sioux single mother Robin and her two children.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Holy Rumspringa, oh my! It's Cancellation Party time (and raffle time!)!
It's been one year since Kate Plus 8 was given the axe. And in honor of this milestone, pull up a kangaroo pelt on the cold hard floor (Realitytvkids.com is not responsible for resulting back problems), stay a spell and help yourself to a Rumspringa (or two)!
It's also raffle time! We're raffling off two DVD copies of our summer "book club" selection, filmmaker David Sutherland's magnum opus, The Farmer's Wife. This intimate documentary of a young Nebraska couple and their sweet girls chronicles three years in their struggle to save the farm and their marriage.
Here are the rules: Anyone who posts on this thread is eligible, except for anonymous posts (unless signed with the name you always use) and Realitytvkids.com staff. Realitytvkids.com will draw two winning numbers from the total numbered comments on Thursday night. Winners will be announced here as soon as we draw. Winners must provide a name and mailing address to admin@realitytvkids.com to claim your prize. Otherwise you will need to opt out. Good luck!
Be sure to tune in next spring to Frontline for David Sutherland's newest project, Kind Hearted Woman, about Oglala Sioux single mother Robin and her two children.
Be sure to tune in next spring to Frontline for David Sutherland's newest project, Kind Hearted Woman, about Oglala Sioux single mother Robin and her two children.
558 sediments (sic) from readers:
«Oldest ‹Older 1 – 200 of 558 Newer› Newest»Why do we need the DVDs? It's on youtube. :)
ehhnf sleov5tareaft! soindss lkke fujnnnnnnnnnnn. Yay!
(That's me getting a head start on the party. I've already had about 3 virtual adult intoxicatin' beverages and they were yummy!)
Seriously, I opt out of the raffle. I hope whoever wins the DVD's truly enjoys the story of Juanita and Darrel and their kids. Happy watching!
I look forward to when you all catch up with me. I've already got dibs on the left side of the leather couch. And I will need two solo cups, please. And probably a trash can.
Thanks, but I opt out too. No WAY is my address being given to ANYone involved in the Gosselin saga! I'm to skeered. ha ha
I walked in on the Red Carpet.I wasn't blinded by flashbulbs...I waved my hand with my arm flapping in the wind.This is where I was born to be.This is where I belong.
You fools know NOTHING. I had 2 kids at once then 6 kids at the same time.You FOOLS owe me everything! The fact that I had 6 kids grow in me at the same time proves everything. YOU as society owes me EVERYTHING!
I come to the party only offering myself.....I wore my croc's...in my skin tight moo moo...with my 37th pink phone...smuggling in a box -o - wine...I will accept all gifts...But don't you dare ask me to talk to you or thank you...YOU know I'm better than that.
Remember...I grift and you better supply. I'm poor with 8 kids . My hubby was able to escape but the kids I OWN for many years to come. O yes the dog too...Don't you wish you were me?
IWonder if the fan blog(s) are having a candlelight vigil. Their main source of enterainment has been OFF TV for over a year. Surprised there aren't mass suicides.
fidosmommy, we will have to scramble and slurp to keep up with you.
PiggyPie, that is a cute profile picture.
I had to promise Maxine she could accompany me to the party. Otherwise, she is going to sue me for using her picture. Hope all of you enjoy her presence.
PAR-TAY!!!!!!!!! Please note the eight, count 'em eight, exclamation marks!
We are also celebrating:
Julia Child's one hundredth birthday! The original reality TV with her cooking show! Password for the party is BON APPE-TIT! Don't forget to wear your good bras ladies! Julia is an example of a woman who found her real passion and greatest success in middle age, she is an example for us all!
It's Independence Day for India! Commemorating the successful nonviolent campaign led by Gandhi win freedom from the British empire. August 15, 1947. Never underestimate the power of nonviolent protest.
You are all invited to virtual beach party and if you come over right now we can spend all day on the beach at Nags Head NC! For those who want the optional road trip to Ocracoke with it's ferry ride and opportunity to get seasick, hurry up! It will take an hour to drive all the way down Hatteras Island, then to the ferry. Once on Ocracoke we will go to Albert Styron's general store and get RC Cola and a Moon Pie and eat out on the front porch there. On the way back we will stop at the Buxton Book Store in Buxton, the lady who runs it has new and old books for all you readers.
when you arrive, please grab a towel to take down the beach and remember which one is yours, you must use the same towel while you are here! No extra towels for you!
Red Solo Cups are in the kitchen upstairs, please send any purse carriers up there to fetch them for us. I have sangria to stay the day with, see those orange slides floating in out? So of course it is a breakfast drink! Sangria for all ladies until the Rumspringa gets here! Purse carriers may have the Budweiser and Bud Light with Lime I picked up from Brew-Thru down the road.
The beach umbrellas, beach chairs, and purses for or purse carriers to tote across the road are on the front porch!
BON APPETIT...Oh, my. I'm in for the all day party. Nothing like the beach early in the morning. Ahhhh.
Oh, my!
JoyinVirginia, you are very organized. How do you do it all? You must have had a great deal of paperwork to get this together!
Dmasy, I have been master minding my lists for DAYS! Being so organized is making me exhausted ish dontcha know! OH My! I will need much rumspringa to recover!
One year.....and what has she done to promote herself?
Nada.
There is a part of me....very small part...as in the toenail clipping of my baby toe, that feels sorry for her. She had everthing at the tip of her fingers just a few short years ago. She lived the life of Riley. She could buy $700 worth of groceries every day and didn't have to worry because TLC was paying for everything. The paperazzi she claimed to hate (but was her lifeline to the world) snapped pics of her and she was put on all the most respected magazines in the world; US, In Touch and, of course, the Globe...which had to move the story of the 3 headed half man/half billyboat to th 2nd page to accomadate Kate being on the cover.
Now....nothing. She is a laughingstock. Her neighbors hate her, she thinks she will be the next Oprah all while living rural Pennsylvania. No job offers are pouring in, her CC blog is a total joke, the shows that welcomed her (Leno, Kimmel) are now mocking her. She dresses like a prostitute with no regard to the feelings of her pre-teen kids.
Ok, pity party over. She's a BIT-H who will get what she deserves.
Ima coming to the Party...on a few conditions. Last time, at the Shopping Cart Party, I worke up on the laundry room floor wearing a lampshade, a tutu and got a new tattoo. So, Hell yeah I'd do it again!!!!
Party on dude!
I'm in! I'll have to hold back on the Rumspringing until after work, unfortunately, But I may only work a half day - so watch out!
I did bake a blueberry nectarine pie from my "Baking with Julia" cookbook. Don't get any on the kangaroo!
OH MY! will Bruce Springasteen be attending? I mega-heart him! *swoon*
I hope no one minds that I've arranged for a film crew to join us. They're family, after all, all dads, every one of them. They'll be filming us sitting on potties in the driveway, so be sure not to wear your Sunday unnawears (holey). They want to be sure we're making memories.
Shoka snuck in my back door early this morning. Right now, he's giving Dulcie an earfull. She graciously consented to share her cat food with him because he's half starved and I don't have any doggie food here. He's exhausted and footsore, but he says he wants to come with, rather than stay here with Dulcie and the pet sitter. He had too much fun at the closet party to miss this one. Besides, there might be some wild critters for him to eat. He promises not to puke up on the good rug, though, Joy.
PARTY ON!! !!!!!!
OH MY!
I've finally arrived!
Had to stop at Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, Starbucks, Fed-Ex, and the gas station. My life is Soooo Busy!!!!!!!! Oh and the old men in Wyommissing really love me. One handed me 10 dollars and asked if he could pump my gas for me. I told him I'm a strong woman and can do it all by myself!
Oh but I'm here! I even had my nails done up for you to admire and spent time getting my tan on so you could see my bronzed look which totally means I'm not racist. Jason stopped by with his bottle of bleach and his special horsehair brush (well, it's a hairbrush made for horses - that's the same, right). Deanna is still here, I wouldn't let her go after the vacation as I needed her to do my makeup for this event. Isn't Blue Eyeshadow just the 'in thing' now?
Okay, who do I hand this box of wine to? Purseboy is out back parking the smaller of my THREE vehicles (I used that one to save on gas, aren't I so smart).
Is everyone on the line in front of the TV? Good, I hope you don't mind if I put my dirty feet on the coffee table while we watch all 100 plus episodes of my family memories.
LIFE IS GOOD! Partay ON!
8 am east coast time! Time to move out and drive south! On the way please notice the Bodie Island Light on your right, and the National Park Visitor Center. We will be passing Oregon Inlet, so named because the first ship thru the inlet after it was formed by a hurricane was the Oregon! Approaching Mirlo Beach please notice the new ”temporary” bridge that is expected to last 5 years, locals call it the Erector Set Bridge because that's what it looks like! Fine to drive over on a sunny day like today, but kinda scary if you drove over it in a storm at high tide!
Over there on the right is the house from the Nights in Rodanthe movie. It used to be on the left, the owners used the money from the filming to move it across the road and away from the ocean. Good thing, after Hurricane Irene last August the two houses it used to be next to fell into the ocean!
Pay attention! Sit up straight! I did not organize all these fun facts for myself! Who says parties can't be educationalish?
If your rump springas get tired today, never fear: I brought some entertainment! Take your spots along the duct taped line (thisclose to the tv) and I'll start the movie.
What's in the queue, you ask? Why, a show about cooking, of course, this being Menu Monday and all!!!!!!!! (Plus or minus a few days, but what does that matter?)
Anyway...in honor of Julia Child's birthday, here's Dan Ackyroyd's skit, "The French Chef."
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-french-chef/278767/
Sorry for I don't have Gosselin DVD to show you. They're worn out from repeated watchings.
Oh Lordy Be!!!!!!!!
You all will have to wait. My boy is sick and there's still laundry all over the laundry room from our trip to the beach. I have to get purse boy to move all that laundry out so that I can settle the boy in there, maybe with a bucket. This, of course, has created a back up in the laundry and with the additional laundry he created I now have to force my laundry "friend" to read through and recite my laundry instructions so that I know that she knows exactly what to do, AND I have to make MORE signs to hang for her in the laundry room. AND if that weren't enough, I can't find my @Sharpee. Nothing works as well as a @Sharpee for the signs I need to leave around for my "friends", so I'm at a loss of what to do without my @Sharpee. Maybe some other "friends" of mine can run out and get me a new @sharpee? The rainbow colors package, of course, as everything I do is color coded. Pleeeeeease????? There must be someone out there who knows how to help me.
When all that is done, and I have left proper instructions for serving lunch, a seating chart, and a detailed schedule for the day broken down into 15 min segments and allowing for two, TWO potty breaks, I will have no problem leaving the kids (no matter how much they cry and scream) to come to the party.
And, my "friends" all know only to call if it is an emergency, so I'll be able to focus on MEEEEEEEE time. After all, I've just been thinking about all I have to do today and I'm exhusted already. I totally need a break!
Joy, I do hope that your portable DVD players are prepped and ready to show the episode with the trip to Disney world. I don't watch ANY TV or movies or engage in ANY kind of technology driven activity while at home, (this fosters creatityness, you know) nor do I pay attention to any factual information about the places that I go. I perfer to sit back and enjoy all the wonderful memories I've created.
I'll be back after I've found the right $500 hooker shoes for the beach. A 5 inch heel is good enough, right? I can leave the 6 inch ones at home?
Hey Berks Neighbor!
Please direct me to that gas station where the old men are handing out 10s and offering to pump your gas? I'm heading out that way to tackle my Target, BB&B and Planet Nails. Could use the extra 10 bucks and possibly a date for coffee at the Starbucks. (perhaps my date will pay)
What time is the party again? So many things to do before hand. Oh, my.
We are almost at the ferry to ocracoke,, all you sleepy heads! If you want to join this virtual road trip, you will just have to meet us at the ferry station in Hatteras village. Our you can choose to just go to the Nags Head house and park there then go to the beach across the road. Remember the password, otherwise my personal purseboy will not let you in.
Notice the road to Hatteras light on the left. We are almost at the ferry, let's meet there about 9:30 to go to Ocracoke. No buckets for seasickness, you will just have to lean over the side to heave.
Berks Neighbor Your post is hilarious!!
GOOOOOOD MORNING FELLOW RUMSPRINGAZ!!! I cant stay yet, but TRUST ME, I'll be back! In the meantime, turn your speakers on and enjoy this little link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqUtEXmSHfA
admin, your drawing and prizes is such a kind idea! sniff... you like us... sniff... you really do....
Hey!! Who touched my slice of pizza with their bare hands?? I know it was one of you and it's disgusting. Everyone one of you know I don't eat salad! I only eat pizza!!! It's ruined now and it's rude to touch pizza with bare hands!! ;)
JoyinVirginia said... 21
We are almost at the ferry to ocracoke,, all you sleepy heads! If you want to join this virtual road trip, you will just have to meet us at the ferry station in Hatteras village. Our you can choose to just go to the Nags Head house and park there then go to the beach across the road. Remember the password, otherwise my personal purseboy will not let you in.
Notice the road to Hatteras light on the left. We are almost at the ferry, let's meet there about 9:30 to go to Ocracoke. No buckets for seasickness, you will just have to lean over the side to heave.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
I'm hurrying but my crocs are slipping off! Wait! I'll change into hooker shoes!
DebbieDowner4 said... 12
One year.....and what has she done to promote herself?
Nada.
*****************************
Your post is hilarious!
I'm dusting off copies of Instand Karma (John Lennon)
Instant karma’s gonna get you
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin’
Join the human race
How in the world you gonna see
Laughin’ at fools like me
Who in the hell d’you think you are
A super star
Well, right you are
That should be INSTANT Karma. Off to work, don't have too much fun while I toil away for the government!
JoyinVirginia, I am totally enjoying the tour so far.
Rumspringa is not my kind of beverage, I'll take the sangria thanks.
I am really looking forward to watching David Sutherland's new doc Kind-Hearted Woman. I have the DVDs of FW so I'm out of the raffle, but great idea for the prize for those interested. I have watched my set a number of times over the years.
Dmasy: any sleep news? Hope you had a better night!
Looking forward to the party! I have added swag bags to my previous offerings: a Lorax bag and tee- shirt, plus free chips all round.
Ohhhhhh, red solo cups! I can so beat everyone in a game of "flip cup"! I'm going to bring my bully so Shoka has someone to play with. PAWTAY!!!!!!!!
OK, now I've really got to get to work!
Sorry y'all I won't be able to come to the party. I only stay at Bald Head Island when in NC - Nags Head is just ho-humish and simply won't do for me.
OMG, you guys are hilarious.lololol
It's good to laugh so early in the morning!
I'll be flying first class, of course, since *I* am a tv stah! I have to bring my handler, 'cuz he has to lead me through the airport! He didn't want to come, but I said no never means no to me! I don't know what I'd do if he didn't know how to help me!
I need someone to rent me a limo (use the love offering $$) for me, and don't tell me NO, since no never means no to me! Tell the limo to park in the fire lane, that way I will know which limo is mine!
All this first class travel is making me exhausted-ish!
I hope someone makes something organic to eat, ya know, something my kids would say tasted as good as a restaurant!
(while I'm gone, my helper girl is going to fix my tractor, clean out the garage, replace a window screen,and clean my oven!)
And when I get to the party, no one can talk to me unless my handler allows you to. If you would like to talk to me, it will cost you all your gift cards and Q-pons!
I'll bring the @DCcupbakes! (but only if they read my twat..er,I mean tweet)
How long is this party anyways? I hope a week or longer because it works out better for my family if I'm gone for a week!
BON APPETIT!!
I will be a little bit late for the party. I forgot to charge my IPhone and now I can't find that chargerer thingy. I am having an inquisition to find out who had it last-must have been one of those boys, thinking it was the cord for their DS game player. I, repeatedly have told them, that they cannot play those in the house, only in the BBB, but they just don't listen.
I MUST have my IPhone to use-otherwise, I might run out of gas, lose my way or not be able to find out what songs are playing at the party.
Of course, I also need it to take pictures, pictures, pictures. I have to have a record of how we'll all be making memories and put it on twitter for all to see!!
Twit: Just decide which kid 'looks' most guilty like Kate and fam did to Joel over globe peeling...then interrogate. See you there !
We are almost at the ferry to ocracoke,, all you sleepy heads! If you want to join this virtual road trip, you will just have to meet us at the ferry station in Hatteras village.
______________
I'm nearly at the ferry. Just a question -- is there an extra charge for the horse? I'm coming by horse and buggy. Do they give out coupons at the ferry station, or should I have searched at CC before I left? I forgot my horse pooper-scooper. Do you have something I can use, or should I just bury it in the sand (the poop, not the horse)?
Well, if we have to bring stuff to the party, I am bringing my three best selling books! I will give them away for a love offering of 20.00, and if you want it signed, that's another 10!
(loved the comment about the crew dads sitting on potties in the driveway, omg, that was funny!)
The @dc cupcakes line was hilarious!
In honor of Kate's grifting ways, I would be *honored* to receive a FREE copy of The Farmer's Wife,lolol.
Almost forgot...I need everyone to bring all their favorite recipes to the party. I just want to look at them, I promise I won't copy them and pass them off as my own...
:)
Sorry - but I can't make it to the party. I never promised you I'd come to the party; I said I would *try* to have lunch with you all...but it was more important for me to drag my kids and my helpers to a BEACH (and don't try to guess which beach I'm on, because I don't want you all taking pics of me bouncing around in my bikini - but if you MUST know, I'm in Alabama at the Gulf Shores...but don't tell my Twitter followers, cuz they'd be jellus) - so anyway - have a great cruise - oops, I mean "party" - without me.
Partay!!! Im waiting for the filmcrew to arrive to pack my suitcase in my car but after that that Ill be underway. Youll see the sun reflect from my beautiful natural and organical bleached hair from miles away, Im practically a ray of sunshine myself ;-)
I was thinking, maybe we can all go on one of those fun deep-sea-fishing/whale-watching trips. Ill amaze you guys how I fluently speak whale-tongue and after that we all throw up, just for fun :-)
Im in for anything as long as its free !!!
Hope everyone is enjoying the ferry ride on the Roanoke! Sunny, wind only ten mph, 82 degrees, we are going to the Ocracoke beach with lifeguard and changing rooms. Anyone flying in can just land at Ocracoke then it is a short walk to the beach. It is nice, secluded, the life guard is cute! And sand is 100% organic, not like that trucked in beach nourishment in nags head. We will enjoy the beach for a while before heading into town.
Purse boy at the house will load up the DVD players for you, and give all arrivals a Red Solo Cup. NO SAND IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!
Almost forgot...I need everyone to bring all their favorite recipes to the party. I just want to look at them, I promise I won't copy them and pass them off as my own...
:)
**********************************
Just got finished making my very own homemade guacamole recipe for the party. Chopped my own onions my own self, along with tomatoes, lime, garlic and of course avocado.
Whatever you do, do NOT google guac recipe, because Allrecipes has MY exact same recipe on their website!! The NERVE!
Looking to all locals to carpool together. We can meet at the pagoda :))
Loving the party so far! I am waiting for my not-a-nanny to arrive so that she can get my pesky twins and take them to visit their deadbeat father while I enjoy some "me" time. After all, I have earned it.
Oh, I am bringing some paper plates, paper towels and painter's tape to make a line on the floor for y'all to sit on while we watch the DVDs.
Happy Cancellation Day! Oh my! I never knew the lines on red solo cups were measurements! I'm gonna fill to the top one with Rumspringa
Have a hilarious day everyone. Will stop by later as we are loading up our BBB wth our 6 gameboys and 4 dvrs for a drive to visit the grandboys. Oh, must pack the solo cups. Save me a rumspringa, only @coffeemate allowed on the road in CA ( but officer, if I was speeding, umm, I just needed to get home to my 8, count 'em 8, littles).
Looking to all locals to carpool together. We can meet at the pagoda :))
++++++++++++++++++=
Ah, our old Saturday night after-movies make-out site!
Helllooo! Waving from the porch...Purseboy won't let me in. I forgot password. I tried:
Medicare!
Oh, My!
Administrator! (You know, name dropping for status.)
Leather couch! (You know, possessions for status.)
Vinegar!
So far, no success. I will keep shouting words.
I think I took a wrong turn. The sign says "Cape May-Lewes ferry" next right. Wrong ferry?
Ah, our old Saturday night after-movies make-out site!
***********
Haha was that YOU?? I always preferred the fire tower lot myself ;)
My red solo cup has dots, not lines.
I'm bringing Moose hot-dogs served by a former state governnor/vice-presidential candidate. I will make even thw most liberal say, "Sarah's not THAT bad ... Compared to..."
Do we all get to take turns sitting on Sport's lap?
Whoooooooooooooooo! Par-tay!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll bring Kate's deviled eggs.
But first, I have to tan to an unnatural
shade of orange, find my hooker shoes, grab my wristlet, and look for my good bra.
Haha was that YOU?? I always preferred the fire tower lot myself ;)
++++++++++++++++++++
My car could find its way there all by itself! What happened at the Pagoda, stayed at the Pagoda! Our parents never knew...
Oh and should by some weird cosmic twist, my number gets chosen for the raffle, I give it up to another lucky person. Keeping this info as secret as the vacay beach - oh, wait, someone FB outed her, and then got threatened with the penalty of severeness.
I would like to come to the party, but only if I can oversee it, I am not into participating in stuff! I'd rather watch from afar!
Who's bringing the post-it-notes,pinatas, bibs and white plastic chairs? I am glad Readerlady already has the potties in the driveway, she sure is organization-ish! After the potties are full, we can take a picture! (who's bringing the M&M's?)
Menu Wednesday!
homemade bread with boiled honey
salmonella chicken
expired cereal
PIZZA!
(wonder how Kate is facing the day? is there 'sobbing' going on in the Mcmansion today??)
Dmasy, it is BON APPE-TIT!
Rumspringa will also work, shhhh, it's a secret!
Now don't bother me! Can't you see I an trying to get some sun down here on the Ocracoke beach, part of the Hatteras National Seashore?
Still shouting passwords:
CoffeeMate!
Garden hose!
Ted Gibson!
Paperwork!
I won't give up...
Couldn't resist adding this to the mix:
Antlers in the Treetop by Who Goosed the Moose -- lol!
We now return you to the party.
Over on the left here, we have a laundry room floor for anyone who is sick.
To the right is the BBB where you can have your impacted bowel removed.
Up ahead is a Toys R Us where you can be ripped a new one.
Over here is a table lined with paper where you can cut up a pumpkin and be stopped more than once to replace the paper.
Over there is a kitchen counter where you can make cookies as long as you don't drop one grain of sugar anywhere.
Behind you is a bedroom you must not enter on penalty of severeness.
Here is the infamous drawer where a receipt was not found which resulted in a major screaming meltdown. Enter at your own risk!
Up ahead is Disney World where you can get screamed at for getting ice cream all over your clothes (and where super mommy didn't bring a change of clothes).
@DCcupbakes.. UMMMM HELLO!!!!! OVER HEEEEERE!!! I NEED HEEEELP!!!!
Geez.. Doesn't anyone know how to help me?? I'm trying to grift ur product for MY party and you don't even reply!! This is my last x trying or it's @bellamars for everyone!
Dmasy..
Try
FREEBIES
Dmasy 47. said
Helllooo! Waving from the porch...Purseboy won't let me in. I forgot password. I tried:
------------
I don't know either, but maybe it's:
Nobu!
Lordy Bee!
first class!
vacation!
travel!
Australia!
Shoes!
block the haters!
retweet!
teevee!
lol, we're all in a party mood.
aggie, I am bringing a pinata shaped like a grow- a- boyfriend- it will be stuffed with Q-pons and stale Halloween candy...
I forget what I said I was also bringing apart from the above, the Lorax swag....hmmm...should have made a list on my virtual iPhone...
For good bra wearers: I prefer BON-APPE-TITTY. Said in a southern accent if course!
CoffeeMate!
Garden hose!
Ted Gibson!
Paperwork!
I won't give up...
==================
Try: "Freebies! Where?"
I'm bringing Moose hot-dogs
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
No!!!! Anything but that!
Did someone invite Tony? He's out on the beach. The shopping cart seems to be stuck in the sand. Dmasy, since you're on the porch, you might want to see if he needs help.
Once a Viewer said... 61
aggie, I am bringing a pinata shaped like a grow- a- boyfriend- it will be stuffed with Q-pons and stale Halloween candy...
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stale candy, omg, hilarious. lolololololololol
She's come undone said... 57
Over on the left here, we have a laundry room floor for anyone who is sick.
To the right is the BBB where you can have your impacted bowel removed.
-----------
omg, you guys make me laugh so hard. so so funny!!
Poor, Kate....it's our party and she can cry (or sob) if she wants to.lol....you would cry too, if it happened to you (according to her fans!)
Horse veneers for everyone!!!
Shoot, I forgot to pack my labelmaker!!!
Will the beach towels be arranged on a wire shelf with our names under the designated towel? And will there be a place to hand them after?
aggiemom09121416 said... 33
OMG, you guys are hilarious.lololol
It's good to laugh so early in the morning!
I'll be flying first class, of course, since *I* am a tv stah! I have to bring my handler, 'cuz he has to lead me through the airport! He didn't want to come, but I said no never means no to me! I don't know what I'd do if he didn't know how to help me!
I need someone to rent me a limo (use the love offering $$) for me, and don't tell me NO, since no never means no to me! Tell the limo to park in the fire lane, that way I will know which limo is mine!
All this first class travel is making me exhausted-ish!
I hope someone makes something organic to eat, ya know, something my kids would say tasted as good as a restaurant!
(while I'm gone, my helper girl is going to fix my tractor, clean out the garage, replace a window screen,and clean my oven!)
And when I get to the party, no one can talk to me unless my handler allows you to. If you would like to talk to me, it will cost you all your gift cards and Q-pons!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
But I am gonna LOOK at you!!!! SEE? There's my eyeballs, looking right at ya in the face!!!! NEENER NEENER NEENER!!!!
Now everyone out of the way, I get this 44 stall restroom all to myself and I have posted my purse carrier at the door to keep you all out!!!! Go pee in a bucket, like you do out in the woods, you mediocre people you!
Moose Mania said... 64
Did someone invite Tony? He's out on the beach. The shopping cart seems to be stuck in the sand. Dmasy, since you're on the porch, you might want to see if he needs help.
***************************
Tell him there is a free glass of Rumspringa in it for him, if he tips the damn thing on it's side and comes and joins us!!!
Missed the ferry but DH is getting the Hot Air Balloon ready in the field...I am shrieking!
Question from DH - Is the tiger mosquito still the island bird of Ocracoke?
Oh, and, Sarah Palin called - her dad is sending moose burgers and moose hot dogs. Sarah is cooking up a big batch of caribou chili.
Dmasy - Don't go hoarse shouting words. A simple love tap (e.g. full right cross to the jaw - lean into it) will get you past purseboy.
Will we be playing cornhole? I have the board, but have misplaced the bean bags. Instead, we can throw P&J sandwiches cut on the diagonal.
For us ten year olds, there will 2 more books.
"50 Yard to the Outhouse" by Wille Makeit, illustrated by Betty Dont.
Happy anniversary everyone. Perfect timing, Pioneer Woman has a sweet post about how she just cannot wait for her last little boy to grow up and see the kind of man he will be. It's all NORMAL Mommy emotions and stuff like that. She doesn't even call him a preschooler.
http://thepioneerwoman.com/blog/2012/08/the-men-theyll-become/
Poor, Kate....it's our party and she can cry (or sob) if she wants to.lol....you would cry too, if it happened to you (according to her fans!)
================
Speaking of which, these silly sheeple still think that Kate is the one who voluntarily "retired" from television:
osnapitsbailee
@Kateplusmy8 Do you ever consider renewing the show? I loved watching it and I loved the kids.
aggiemom09121416 said... 60
Dmasy 47. said
Helllooo! Waving from the porch...Purseboy won't let me in. I forgot password. I tried:
------------
I don't know either, but maybe it's:
Nobu!
Lordy Bee!
first class!
vacation!
travel!
Australia!
Shoes!
block the haters!
retweet!
teevee!
----------------------------
Try
OH MY!!
all all all alone
mine mine all mine
You're DONE!
JOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Purse full of bills...
like...
ummm... ummm... ummm...
Honestly? ummm...
mediocre.
OK you guys are way too funny today. Laughing so hard my eyes are squinty. I can't wait to see you all tonight!
I must try to get some mediocre housework done. I am off from work this week, can't spend all day on the computer but you all are making it hard to leave - NO LIE!
Parent in Lancaster County, must I do everything myself!?!
It is the Hatteras-Ocracoke ferry! In north Carolina!!
Go to www.ocracokeisland.com
Oh, just get in your private plane and fly here! Www.Ocracokeairport.com
Now hurry up and get here, it will ruin my organized activities if we get off schedule!
Flight of the Kiwi said... 71
Missed the ferry but DH is getting the Hot Air Balloon ready in the field...I am shrieking!
----------
I am posting too much, but you guys are just hilarous!
Kiwi, that comment made me just laugh out loud. so dang funny! lololol
I promise not to post for a few hours!
I guess there will be enough people show up for the party...so I guess I won't have to hide in the broom closet!
Honestly?? I am in AWE of you guys...ya'll must have gotten up wicked early this morning to be so witty and hilarious!
Since I've posted way too much this morning, I am going to go sit in time out. Dwindle told me to, she said NO WAY!
:)
i am in! I didn't see the real password in time. Just went around to the back door. Shoka has unlocked it. Come on in ....
JoyinVirginia said... 41
Hope everyone is enjoying the ferry ride on the Roanoke!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
The ferry ride is lovely! Such a beautiful day you had your minions order up for us too!
There were some puking children in tears and in distress over there, but I had my Mr Purse Carrier Boy shove them overboard. I am #muchtoobusyandexhausted to deal with that! I need stress relief - INSTANT stress relief!
Oh, they were MY children? Well, that is what they get for being born and ruining my life!
aggiemom09121416 said... 77
Since I've posted way too much this morning, I am going to go sit in time out. Dwindle told me to, she said NO WAY!
:)
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
You are sitting on the wrong butt cheek!!!! Cant you do anything RIGHT???? Now I have to go get the red spoon!!!!
Speaking of which, these silly sheeple still think that Kate is the one who voluntarily "retired" from television:
&&&
Lol. If kicking and shrieking is "voluntarily", sure.
Betsy, then I guess you're opting out? Other people would like the actual DVDs as opposed to an out of focus youtube thing.
(sitting on time out rug in corner)...
psst....who's bringing the GUM???
I have a purse full of bills I can't pay...let's check the mailbox for checks and cash!
anyone want to get matching winnie the pooh tattoos? how about matching necklaces?
Amanda, Iowa said... 40
Partay!!! Im waiting for the filmcrew to arrive to pack my suitcase in my car but after that that Ill be underway. Youll see the sun reflect from my beautiful natural and organical bleached hair from miles away, Im practically a ray of sunshine myself ;-)
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Amanda, you are AMAZING!!!! I can tell you spent at least a grand and trip out of state to get your hair that special shade of radioactive neon white!!!! Here, I saved a baby highchair just for you!
Okay, so this beach place we're going to? It is going to be roped off for us right? And those dressing rooms and bathroom area is just for us right? I can't mingle with mediocre people, you know.
And stop saying the name of where we are going!!!!!!! You know, O-C-R-A-C-O-K-E beach. That was Ocracoke. Got it? We will be swamped with the P people and fifty thousand photos of me in a bikini will be all over the magazines tomorrow! Now, I'm only bringing ten bikinis. Do you think that's enough???
Everyone's purseboy is responsible for dealing with those nasty people who take pics on their phones. If those pics get out on the internet before the magazines come out it steals money away from my family and I have a lot of mouths to feed!!!!!
I'm off to get my hair done. It makes perfect sense before a long, long road trip to spend two hours before at the salon getting a cut and color. And I can't forget the tanning place and the nail salon. Maybe I need to make a list on my phone. Oh does the paperwork never end!?!?!?!
aggiemom09121416 said... 83
(sitting on time out rug in corner)...
psst....who's bringing the GUM???
I have a purse full of bills I can't pay...let's check the mailbox for checks and cash!
anyone want to get matching winnie the pooh tattoos? how about matching necklaces?
************************************
As soon as you say "Thank you Mommy Dearest" you may be released.
Iphone charged--check
car gassed up--check
hair, nails and tan done--check
microphone clipped on--check
I'm ready! Lights, camera, action!!
What's that you say? There's no show? How can that be? You all loooove me!
I just don't get it! I'm leaving, this is so over.
aggiemom, Dwindle will join you in timeout in a few minutes. Once the cameras go off. She's bringing the red spoon.
My work is never done! Y'all just DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP MEEEEEEE!
For everyone at the house, enjoy yourselves by touring Julia Childs kitchen at the Smithsonian.
Americanhistory.si.edu/juliachild
Remember, NO SAND IN THE HOUSE!
Pick up your beach towel on the front porch. You must use the same towel ALL DAY AND NIGHT! When you get back to the house, shake out the sand and hang the towel on the porch rail.
Flight of the kiwi, yes the mosquito is still the official bird of Ocracoke, hatteras, and nags head too! At the doorway purse boy will spray you with Off!
It's almost low tide, well in an hour. Go enjoy the beach!
I'll take the red spoon over a 4 hour nap any day!!
You are sitting on the wrong butt cheek!!!!
================
Butt cheeks. Did you read about the guy who shot himself in the butt in a Nevada movie theater? The gun was in his pocket. Apparently he had a permit for a weapon, and it discharged while he was trying to get himself seated.
Like Kate I wanna make this all about meeeee.
I grifted a ton on box-wine and Bella bars so your welcome.
I will wait for the tons of cheers.-LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeRDBPWK714
a little mood music...
OK, I have a little knob here that came off some furniture and we can play Hide The Knob from Kate. If she should find it we will deny, deny, deny that we ever took it. When she leaves in a snit we'll all do a little happy dance. Circle dance in fact.
I'm at work and had to take break by myself today, so I knew I had to check in on the party. You guys are so hilarious I thought I was going to wet myself!! I have coworkers wondering what's going on because I am in my corner (I wasn't bad, that's just where my desk is), and I'm giggling to myself.
I can't wait to get home today and read the rest. Enjoy, everyone!!
Anyone have any Taylor Swift to play?
When does Jason arrive to do our hair?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdBoUlBo_6k
"You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again"
wingsandRoundabouts said... 94
OK, I have a little knob here that came off some furniture and we can play Hide The Knob from Kate.
--------
You better make sure Dwindle doesn't see that knob, she'll put you in time out too.
Anyone bring a globe??
(I promise, this is my last post for a while. You guys are HILARIOUS)
I'm going to lie in the sun all day without sunscreen. I always do this! Then,I'm going to take everyone else's dinner. It's not fair for anyone else to have something better then me!
Why wasn't I invited to the party? I'm KATE GOSSELIN! Was Jodi invited? I hate her! She's prettier then me,nicer,bakes,more generous, knows how to help me, my kids love her but she's not family! My crew are the only family I want! Besides she wants to make money off my kids and I don't care what happens to my kids ,I'm the only one that can make money!
Please, please can I come, if you let me in I'll let you:
Lick my toes! :))
SwingsandRoundabouts said... 94
OK, I have a little knob here that came off some furniture and we can play Hide The Knob from Kate. If she should find it we will deny, deny, deny that we ever took it. When she leaves in a snit we'll all do a little happy dance. Circle dance in fact.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
OOO OOOO!!! like a combo of Hot Potato and Monkey In the Middle!!!!! Here's the best part - we can either scream back in HER face, or we can just dump Rumspringa in her head! No, that would be Rumspringa-abuse and the rumspringa sure hasnt done anything to deserve THAT. Also, gawd knows what kind of nuclear reaction would occur if innocent little rumspringa connected with that radioactive neon thing on her head.
I am also bringing copies of the People magazine article announcing the cancellation. I think we should have a moment of silence at 3:00 EDT, the time the article was posted.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20518349,00.html
I have also brought copies of Kate's tweets regarding the cancellation as a refresher. Let's take a walk down Memory Lane:
"1/many We've had a great run! Six years of whirlwind funfilled adventures thanks to TLC and our many many supportive &diehard fans! Cont..."
"2/many While it is very sad for me and the kids (there were many tears at the breakfast table this morning!), we are"
"3/many we are looking forward with great anticipation to our bright future! As is very typical for me, I am choosing to Cont..."
"4/many As is very typical for me, I am choosing to see the positive in this situation and I am excited to consider the Cont..."
"5/many I am excited2consider many more invigorating opportunities that may come my way!I poured my entire self in2 last 6 yrs of 'Kate+8'"
"6/many I poured my entire self in2 the last6years of 'Kate Plus 8' & I can't wait2have the chance2challenge myself again w future endeavors!"
"7/many In the meanX,I hope 2have more time4motivational speaking,book writing &other fun work opportunities that come my way... Cont.."
"8/many ...And maybe even some dating??!! We wish our fans well. And remember, this is not 'goodbye'.I prefer to say 'See you around!' Xoxo"
Didn't realize this before, but of course she had to have 8, count em, 8 tweets addressing her feelings on the cancellation.
Fleecing The Sheeple said... 91
You are sitting on the wrong butt cheek!!!!
================
Butt cheeks. Did you read about the guy who shot himself in the butt in a Nevada movie theater? The gun was in his pocket. Apparently he had a permit for a weapon, and it discharged while he was trying to get himself seated.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Hmmm... doesnt say too much about who they give those permits to, now does it? hehe
what time is it?
Oh lordy bee I gotta go.
Be back later to tap chefsummer's box o wine!
Anyone have any Taylor Swift to play?
*************
We're picking her up at the Pagoda. She wanted to be at the party in person, after all, she IS THE MOST FAMOUS AND WELL LIKED celebrity from Berks County. Shhhhhhhhhhhhh don't tell Katie Irene, she thinks the locals love her
I've brought a toothbrush and nail clippers for everyone. They're all lined up on the kitchen counter ready to use. There's nothing more memory making than a cooking and grooming session in the kitchen. Oh, and if anyone wants an eyebrow wax I’ve set up a spot over there right next to the guacamole dip.
I'd just like to review the rules about naptime here. When it is naptime, you must go lay down on your bed. Wether you need a nap or not. You must stay there for four hours. At the end of those four hours, you can get up. If you get up at anytime during those four hours so that I notice, you will go back to your bed to finish those hours with an additional hour added onto the end. Now, I don't really care what you do during "naptime". It's not like there are baby monitors so I can hear if you call for me or cry because you are bored. Just so long as I don't realize that you are anywhere other than laying down in bed. After all, I need a break.
This routine does NOT change even if we are at the beach.
I'm almost there! I'm waiting for the grocery store to evacuate everyone so I can go in and pick up some fat-free Coffeemate for the road.
As ministry of sticks up your butt, I have a nice supply that are freshly sharpened. And, I will use them....
Just a refresher from the People article:
"TLC hopes to check in with Kate and the family periodically with specials in the future," the network said.
Just like Kate saying she would like to try to meet up in Ft. Lauderdale just before the cruise embarks and treat everyone to a meal.
Didn't happen!!
As ministry of sticks up your butt, I have a nice supply that are freshly sharpened. And, I will use them....
&&&&&&&&&&&
Glycine sticks? I was thinking about using them as swizzle sticks for the Rumspringa, but on second thought...
Kate's a twit (35) "I will be a little bit late for the party. I forgot to charge my IPhone and now I can't find that chargerer thingy. I am having an inquisition to find out who had it last"
Don't be late at the party for such a petty detail, Kate's. Cut to the chase and accuse Joel, for crying out loud! For no reason at all, of course it's him!
Ok, enough beach time at Ocracoke! Up, rinse off, pull a t-shirt on, get on those flip flops, next stop Albert Styrons General Store in the village.
Www.ocracokeisland.com/Albert_styron.htm
Everyone get an RC Cola and a moon pie,
Then we will go over to the national park service visitor center, and check our some history to get edumacated!
Also check out www.ocracokepteservation.org
We will visit the preservation society's house museum before heading back to the ferry.
Last stop on Ocracoke will be www.teachshole.com
Edward Teach better known as Blackbeard had his headquarters on Ocracoke!
Holy smokes you people are crazy.
Certifiable whackadoos.
Just further evidence that a few of us might have been separated at birth.
I have a bit of an elaborate Mexican dinner planned for tonight; if my kids and their friends dont finish it all off I will try and stop by afterwards with leftovers. Oddly enough it goes GREAT with a beer and a shot ...
"Do we all get to take turns sitting on Sport's lap?"
- - - -
Whoa, hey now.
I didnt see this earlier, forget the damn kids and movie night.
Maybe I'll just split a Granny Smith apple 8 ways for them with a green bean each, slap a blanket on my floor and let them sit up straight and watch a movie by themselves while feasting on an apple wedge.
Let me see if I can scrounge up some matchy-match shirts for them all to wear during the movie and this plan might just come together.
Sport said... 113
Just further evidence that a few of us might have been separated at birth.
************
Does that mean we're siblings and are centituplets(or more)? Quick, someone call TLC!
I started on my trip to this Rumspringa party a few days ago because I decided to run it. I'm going to prove to you ladies that I do run marathons so I can run from the Cape to NC no problem. My hair will be perfectly in place when I arrive. You will see no sweat on me and my makeup will be flawless. My eight count 'em eight kids will line my route with signs telling me I'm the most wonderfulish mother there is. Purseboy will be waiting at the end to take a picture of me to sell to the tabloids. Then everyone will know I tell the truth. THERE BETTER BE RUMSPRINGA LEFT WHEN I GET THERE UNDER PENALTY OF SEVERENESS!!!!!!!!
I'm hungry and lunch isn't ready....I'll swap 2 botox injections and day at the spa for 8 grapes and half an apple!
I have a bit of an elaborate Mexican dinner planned for tonight
&&&&&&&&
If Sport is having Mexican for dinner, do we really want to sit on his lap?
No anniversary party would be complete unless we have a sing-a-long. I recommend the following song-"Ding Dong the Witch is Dead", since Kate's recent picture reminded me of the witch in the Wizard of Oz.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=nrEdYyejlj8
BON APPE-TIT!!
I'll be ready to party in a few hours. Washing my good bra, polishing my hooker heels, and picking grapes off a bunch to throw on your plates.
Beouf Bourguignon is in the oven to help celebrate Julia in style. Made it with Rumspringa instead of wine this time! Oh my!!
See everyone later. Save me a spot on the leather couch.
I've never watched one epi of Kate plus 8...only Jon and Kate. This morning on Discovery channel Kate plus 8 was on and just had to put it on...I think I watched the last 10 minutes of it..the kids were buying things for back to school. I could not believe what I was watching..she was barking orders at them non stop. Going down a list of consequences if they didn't do everything exactly they way she wanted it done, right down to HOW and WHEN their veggies should be eaten...It was one of the most distrubing things I have ever seen. I don't recall her being that HITLER like in the beginning...It was like a concentration camp. I hope that was just for the cameras..because the thought of any human being living with that monster make me physically ill. Sorry to bring the party down!! Had to share...I'm actually upset...
(This is Remona)
KAT said... 121
''.........I hope that was just for the cameras..because the thought of any human being living with that monster make me physically ill.''
~~~~
And that is why so many of us are glad that Jon has so much more time with his children!! At least when they're with Jon, they can be 'normal' children, with a daddy that doesn't attempt to control every moment, and freely gives attention and hugs/kisses!!
Remona
Maybe the password is "helll-OOOOOOOO!!!" and it must be yelled from across the street, as to get as much attention as possible from fellow on-lookers cuz it just wouldn't be a party unless we were being GAWKED at!!
I brought the cell phone to take grainy pics- now everyone sit on the line on the floor, with your meager helping of my detestable, I mean delicious dinner and look HAPPY dammit- this is for my FANS!! Both of them!
In honor of Julia Child's 100th birthday, a video to watch.
Star Chefs celebrate Julia Child, honor her legacy
http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/48663994/#48663994
KAT: Just curious. How did you find out about KG etc if you never watched the show before. Believe me, there's plenty more to make you sick. :( That's the real Kate- she wa like that and worse on earlier shows when Jon was her whipping boy and she did run the home like a drill sargent.
Oh, I see..you watched J+K, just not K=8. Still same story. Sorry for redundant post!
OK youz guys... stop with all the sassy talk! kart is a lovely woman; she's just misunderstood, that's all....
For those of us from downunder, she represents the best in femininity, decisiveness and organization.
She is excellent at telling me what to do. She has the most fakest sunshiney straw on her head. It crackles so quietly when she makes me comb her straw... er, I mean hair.
And she wears those darling provocative baby doll dresses so her womanhood shows. (I helped pick those out, dontjaknow - did I do a good job, or what?!).
And her organization, crikey, what can I say? She organized the balls right off of me. In the blink of an eye, I was ball-less.
Without those pesky balls between my legs it is so much easier to walk while holding her purse and her shopping bags.
She keeps my calendar for me on her little pink phone appendage so I don't have to see my own kids and the old wife.
She keeps the secret of whether or not I'm actually divorced or not, just like she wanted to keep the Korea trip a secret. Of course, that first husband of hers tried to let THAT secret out of the bag.
We actually had to cancel the Korea trip because the Korean paps would have swarmed her. I'm good at my job; NO paps get near her when I'm around.
Oh liardy bee, she's screaming again. Better go see what she needs. Probably one of those pesky kids is not sitting exactly on the line again. They can be just so dam difficult!
I know you've invited me to the partay but she said I'm not allowed.
What am I going to do?? ( tears, tears) I can't believe MY show was cancelled, everybody loves my kids!
Will I have to be on Twitter for the rest of my life?? I can't stand those people!
I would rather spit in their eye then communicate with them:((
Will I have to run in marathons just to stay relevant ? Noooooo I'm to lazy!!!
Is this my last bottle?? Steve bring me another case! NOW!!! BTW has Jon called? I hate him ,it's his fault the show was cancelled!
I know you've invited me to the partay but she said I'm not allowed.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Not even if we don't make you eat mac and cheese or salad, and your pizza is wrapped in foil, free of human contamination?
Besides watching dvds of 'r' life, we need to have games, too! (hopefully no one will need to go to the doctor to see if any bones are broken..that's not allowed!)
We could play a game with ?'s like this...
1. What presidents are featured on Mt Rushmore?
2. How big is the Grand Canyon?
3. Are washable markers REALLY safe for clothes?
4. How much chicken do you need to serve 8?
5. How do you get gum out of a lovey?
6. Which of my kids is left-handed?
7. Is maternal bonding over-rated?
8. Explain why this statement: If you are divorced and say you're single, why can't you be single and say you're divorced?
Can we have ice cream AND bacon? pretty please??
Once a viewer@ 126...I watched the earlier epi's with Jon. I was drawn into watching because my daughter would watch them..Honestly if it wasn't for my daughter I wouldn't know who Kate Gosselin is....not a big T.V. watcher. I just don't remenber her being at this level of an asshole. I mean this shook me up a little..I never knew it became THIS extreme. What a revalation...she is a very disturbed person. I'm going to have my husband watch those epi's and let him observe her behavior...He's a psychologist and behaviorist..I think this will be an easy one for him..I'm still in shock with what I witnessed. If THATS entertainment...somebody should be locked up.
I guess I really need to clarify that little pizza episode...
First, it was edited to make kart look bad. The camera guys said after the first twenty takes that she was coming across as too nice. Nice doesn't sell, dontjaknow.
I have to concede that she didn't always stick to the script but hey, she's a free spirit, beloved by all America. And me. Well, I adore her... ummm...... and she pays good. And I don't have anywhere else to go now after working for TLC on her show.
She and I can't go back. You understand, right?
OK, I admit it, but grudgingly.... I can't get a job anywhere else. And my first wife kicked me out. I'm stuck at the konpound. Me and Shoka.
And the screaming, that was voice-dubbed in after the fact.
I don't eat pizza, for crikey sake! Fats, cheese, dairy??? Ugh. Nobu is more to my liking. Good food, good wine and I didn't even have to pay for it. We could drink all we wanted cause the limo would drive us home.
And I'd never take any food from the kids - we always think they'd have spit into it.
I don't think they like me too much. I don't know why. I generally ignore them.... so what complaint could they have?
OK, it was particularly embarrassing when I couldn't even get a job with Monica Lewinsky carrying her line of purses....
Crikey........ what have I done?
What have I done?
Aggiesmom, we will serve bacon ice cream later this evening!
everyone move! We want to catch the 1:30 ferry back to Hatteras so we will have time to visit the Graveyard of the Atlantic museum! Did you know that German u--boats came close to the outer banks during world war II?
Ms Kreider is NOT ALLOWED at the party, so if she shows up at the house before I get back, please somebody shove a stick you know where, and I am not talking about those glycine sticks either!
Everyone please be sure to have your purse boys rinse the sand off your feet!
I think with all my security experience I could get back into New Zealand without the paps finding me.
I need to escape!
But crikey, will she hunt me down? Is there anywhere on earth I can go where I'll be safe from her?
I'll dye my hair, get a boob job and nose job, wear dark glasses....
I can do it. I'm like Jason Bourne, really.
Do any of you have any covert connections that can shelter me until I'm ready to leave the country?
Can we meet at the mall instead of the Pagoda?? OR - we could meet at the parking lot of Wernersville State Hospital. Whichever is easier. :)
Improbable Dreams said... 18
Anyway...in honor of Julia Child's birthday, here's Dan Ackyroyd's skit, "The French Chef."
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-french-chef/278767/
_________________________________________
From when SNL was still funny...LOVED this...and it reminded me of a true Julia Child story:
When I was still in college and my mother was a college instructor and taking courses for her Ph.D., we went together to Colorado one summer so she could take courses toward that end. She lived in the dorm, and I got a job at a brokerage firm for the summer to pay for an apartment for me to stay in.
My couch converted into a bed. I was watching Julia one day when she set the kitchen on fire! This was before editing and everything was live. "Oh my, oh my" in her high-pitched voice. I was hysterical with giggles and laughter and pitched myself backward into the headboard, nearly knocking myself out!
At any rate, that SNL sketch was SO Julia and so right on target. Thanks for the memories!
I *bet* we as guests will be expected to do some chores, ya know, little stuff like..pool maintenance, chicken coop clean-out,clean the oven range... and somebody with ocd needs to clean out the frig! (I feel for the person that has to try to fix the tractor!)
can someone whip out their 44th pink iphone and assign chores?
I volunteer to move the water hoses!
Maybe if we do all our chores quickly and correctly, our host will let us bungee jump off the roof (but don't step on the roof jewelry!)
Someone's bringing a hot air balloon, is anyone bringing horses for us to ride? How about some guns for the rifle range??
Guess we could have a 'run' up and down the driveway?
Can we meet at the mall instead of the Pagoda?? OR - we could meet at the parking lot of Wernersville State Hospital. Whichever is easier. :)
************
Actually Lanc. Co. Mom you are on the way since you are south of us. We'll pick you up at Park City OK? Daughter graduated from MU, love the area.
Can I join in if I try not to breathe too loudly?
So, I don't normally share personal stuff on here, I like my privacy, call me crazy! but this is fun and sad and cute...my boy is so sick today. He's throwing up every two hours or so. (all tucked into the COUCH-imagine!-with movies and mama) Yet, he is constantly asking to eat! He's so mad at me because I didn't feed him any breakfast! =( Poor boy!
Oh, and the party today is fabulous! It's been so nice to have a humor outlet to go to after washing out the bucket. =/
I will bring the Pledge and the dust rag and clean up this place before you all get here and I PROMISE under penalty of severeness to clean behind the hamper!
To Purseboy.....
Crikey! You sure did make a mess of things!
Not sure what you can do....she can find you dontcha know.
I always wondered.....does she have a row of jars with, um, "kiwis" in them? One labeled Jon...one for you, and a few extras for future victims...um, hubbys? Good thing that grow-a-boyfriend is plastic.
Sorry, Purseboy....I'd suggest crawling over broken glass back to Gina, but she is probably glad to be rid of you. Don't blame her, I've heard Kate Gosselin Cooties are the most dangerous of all.
Maybe you could move back to NZ and get a job with Mr. Annoying Sky Jump Man. Lawdy knows she'll never contact you, like she never contacted that poor dude to apologize for her behavior.
Have fun, Kiwi....Goodspeed.
Well, all you mediocre people, I have bad news for you. The film crew just called and cancelled. They'd rather film HoneyBooBoo Child.
Isn't the password SHE'S RUINED!! ?
I see kate's on twitter silence again. Must be doing that mountain of laundry. Gee, Kate, what happen, your laundry girl on vacation? I can not believe, Kate has that much laundry from that trip. At the most, it should be, 2 swim suite per per person, that 18 suites(which are about 1 load), 9 towels,(according to Kates wash plan), that's another load. Then what 2 summer outfits each, 18 clothes, make that 3 outfits each, plus 9 pjs, underwear for a week to 10days. Were talking: 5-6 loads of laundry, 2 washer, 2 dryers. 1 day of washing & drying. Now if Kate had not been doing any laundry, for several weeks, then it would look like as one of the twins said a jungle.
I have 1 washer & dryer: I do 3 weeks worth of laundry or when my hamper is filled, in one day. And those loads are: underwear, pants, tops & sleep wear, towels, sheets. 5 loads of laundry. Kate is lazy. Kate could even teach the twins how to do laundry, like their own laundry. It won't hurt them to learn. Kate makes a drama out of doing laundry.
I'll bring the gum!!!!!
mamaK said... 141
So, I don't normally share personal stuff on here, I like my privacy, call me crazy! but this is fun and sad and cute...my boy is so sick today. He's throwing up every two hours or so. (all tucked into the COUCH-imagine!-with movies and mama) Yet, he is constantly asking to eat! He's so mad at me because I didn't feed him any breakfast! =( Poor boy!
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Awww, I hope he feels better.... {gentle hug}
Wait . . . just heard about the party! I want to start a caravan of party goers, head over to Ungrateful Kate's and remove all of the solar panels off of the mansion!! Who's in? I will provide the hot chocolate and ear plugs! We can put Ungrateful Kate in the boom lift without a harness and leave her up in the air!
Purseboy said... 135
Do any of you have any covert connections that can shelter me until I'm ready to leave the country?
****************************
Go hide in one of the tups rooms; she NEVER goes in there. Also, choose any hairdresser in town to hang out in, she never goes there either. You could probably spend the rest of the summer at her church and never run into here there.
Mammak: poor kid. Chicken broth(stuff in the box), & bread. It will probably take 12-24 hours to pass. If not take kid to Doctor, or clinic or call them.
Kate is a twit said... 119
No anniversary party would be complete unless we have a sing-a-long. I recommend the following song-"Ding Dong the Witch is Dead", since Kate's recent picture reminded me of the witch in the Wizard of Oz.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=nrEdYyejlj8
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PERFECT!!! I will get the bucket of waterishness for her irradiated straw head.
"I'm melting!!! I'm not water-ish!! That had better be organic salt water!!!! OHHHHH MY BEAUTIFUL BITCHINESS!!!!!"
I just have a quick break... who moved that platter of bloody raw chicken?
Oh I brought 12 leaves of organic designer lettuce, split them evenly among the 205 of you. IF I FIND ONE SPECK OF ANYTHING ON THE FLOOR OR THE TABLE OR THE PAPER PLATES, YOUR CHILDREN WILL HAVE TO COME AND LICK MY HOUSE CLEAN!!!!! These paper plates are going to the consignment shop and you had BETTER NOT RUINNNNNN THEMMMMM!!!!!
Sorry I'm late, but I brought some must hear music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrIz4gPoCH8
readerlady said... 145
Well, all you mediocre people, I have bad news for you. The film crew just called and cancelled. They'd rather film HoneyBooBoo Child.
------------------------------------
what?? no film crew? oh that's it, this is sooo OVER!
Hey, remember Stephanie, 2.8 miles away?
Right now I have a beautiful little Asian girl in an ad for Zulilly on the top of the screen.
We know kart reads here - I bet she is pissed beyond words that one of her precious kids isn't in the ad instead.
These posts are crackin' me up.... I like the one about the paper plates...keep going..
Debbie Downer,
No jars, babe.
She chews em up and spits em out. Nothing left but chomped on shreds........ really, those big teeth are killers.
Oh gawd, can it get more humiliating?
I just want to jump in and join in the fun. But only for a moment, I need to get back to work!!
Well I just arrived at the party and no one is here. But of course, I don't notice people. I'll be in the spa, since it makes me a better mommy. I'm taking this box o' wine with me...it's mine, all mine!
Sorry, I'm late, had to stop and get my pedi first - Oh My! OK, I brought some Bella bars, Yum, but before you have one you must enter the code "What's Next?" There is no way you are having one without me getting my cut of the sales. Nobody makes money off of me and my 10, count 'em 10, pretty painted piggies.
Whew! I just ran 8,000 miles uphill in my Asiacs running shoes, while clipping coupons in hail & rain.
Ooops, I'm making a puddle. Does anyone have pages from "I Just Want You To Know" by Kate Gosselin?
I need to line the front entrance way...
Did I miss anything?
Wow. I go away for a few weeks to watch the world go faster, higher, stronger, thinking nothing has happened in the G world and nothing would. Check in to see there was progress, good and bad. Though, it is somewhat nice to come straight to answers on the cruise questions, DWTS and such. Too bad the gosselinbook hasn't been solved yet.
And who knew rumspringa would spread like it did? Glad you're all enjoying. Don't worry about need coupons; rumspringa is free to the world, just like coldfusion ;)
Could anyone give me a quick rundown of the top G stories over the past few weeks? I'd normally take the time to look myself, but I'm going to spend that time reading all of the hilarious posts from your first party. :)
Permanent Name said... 156
Hey, remember Stephanie, 2.8 miles away?
Right now I have a beautiful little Asian girl in an ad for Zulilly on the top of the screen.
We know kart reads here - I bet she is pissed beyond words that one of her precious kids isn't in the ad instead.
-----------
Nope, she'd only be pissed that Stephanie was there and not her. Her kids aren't precious to her in that way. Only the money and attention they gave her is precious.
Purseboy said... 135
I think with all my security experience I could get back into New Zealand without the paps finding me.
I need to escape!
But crikey, will she hunt me down? Is there anywhere on earth I can go where I'll be safe from her?
I'll dye my hair, get a boob job and nose job, wear dark glasses....
I can do it. I'm like Jason Bourne, really.
Do any of you have any covert connections that can shelter me until I'm ready to leave the country?
***********************************************
There, there Purseboy.
You can go hide in Kate's unnerwares. Hardly anyone goes in there lately.
Here, have some salad. What? You don't eat salad? Alright. Here's a slice of pizza. You don't mind me wiping my armpits with it, do ya?
I will only enter the party after everyone signs a confidentiality agreement. I will also be bringing 888#s of pudding
Sorry, I don't know why my comment posted twice!
Hey, remember Stephanie, 2.8 miles away?
+++++++++++++
Stephanie is having a blast with the guy from Christian Singles. I think she is teaching him a few things. They've both enrolled in those classes for an online degree in Bible. The ad keeps popping up.
I get the Zulilly ad all the time. I am so tempted to buy that white sundress with the ladybugs on it for my little ladybug fan.
When I did the recent Extra interview, I bragged about being on Twitter. My manager/bodyguard/lover should have told me that a real celebrity would not have listed that as being an accomplishment BEFORE I did the interview. It's his fault I haven't heard from the major networks.
bm
Brief update:
Admin confirmed physical custody is now 50/50 and Jon is no longer
paying child support as a result. He has to catch up on whatever he
owed before that decree.
Katie went to Blogher12 in NYC for CC and wrote another useless blog
post or two for said blog.
Kate and the kids (and the helpers) took a super secret vacation to
the beach (Gulf Shores, AL appears to have been confirmed on someone's
FB and now deleted).
NO pap coverage of said vacation.
I feel better after my long nap! Cara and Mady better have fed those brats breakfast and lunch and cleaned up the house!
I still don't know why I wasn't invited to the party!
Oh, yes I do! They are jellus of me because I'm youngish, beautifulish, I've written books and been on TV! And you haters are ugly, old, and have never written a book! If TLC had come to your house you would have done the same thing!
Steve bring me another case of wine and lock the door on your way out! Nobody knows how to help me!! :(((
@Kateplusmy8
MammaG! OMG! Help! Hair on my chin. If I pull it out, will it gro back faster? Shave it? Elec or razor blade? Help! Single mom w/date 2nite. UR Awsome. Pls DM me!
(Snark)...
@rumspringa partygoers I'm almost there!!! drive is so long!! Oh MY!! grabbing a cup of@keurig coffee with @coffeemate then will stop @jasons to fabulously get fried @fidosmommy get off the couch if you have a case of crabs!!
Ok, almost 4 pm eastern, we must stay on schedule! Because I am so organized!
Hope everyone enjoyed the ferry ride back from Ocracoke and the visit to Buxton Book Store! We have just enough time to go to the Wright Brothers Monument to flight at Kitty Hawk, and we will stop by Jockeys Ridge, the largest sands dune on the eat coat, on our way back.
I expect rum springa rolls at dinner!
Aggie mom, have you checked that everyone is bringing something on the master party list?
You all don't know how to help me!!!!!!
There, there Purseboy.
You can go hide in Kate's unnerwares. Hardly anyone goes in there lately.
**********
Too funny! Just make sure that Katie didn't poop in Katie's unnerwares before you go in there to hide.
Hellllllllllllloooooooooooo, may I have everyone's attention?
Thank you. In exactly 2 hours we will start the relay races. Events include:
1. Running in hooker heels carrying melting ice cream cones
2. Refrigerator cleaning with q-tips
3. Barking orders - this is a couples race and you must have a spouse who will comply and not stand up for himself
4. Marathon race - must have a partner for this one as well, bring your own Vespa and tube of lipstick
5. Grow a boyfriend race - This is for all the single ladies. Who's boyfriend will grow the fastest?
6. Valley girl speak - Like, uhm, honestly who can talk like a teenage valley girl using the most Valley Girlish words? Remember, bonus points awarded if the content actually makes sense.
7. Grifting Scavenger Hunt - The winner will return with the most items received for free. Bonus points if you bring back cash from little old ladies living on a social security.
joyinvirginia said...
Ms Kreider is NOT ALLOWED at the party, so if she shows up at the house before I get back, please somebody shove a stick you know where, and I am not talking about those glycine sticks either.
------------
i'm on it--how will I recognize her?
Auggghhh! Curse you auto correct !
Jockeys ridge is the largest sand dune on the east coast, not the eat coat!
Oh my! I forgot an event.
Lying and contradictory speech. The winner will make as many lying/contradictory statements as possible in a two hour timeframe - oh my!
Sorry I can't join your party, been reading about it for days, but I have to work tonight and tom night 6pm-6am. And I am so exausted from doing nothing on my 3 nights off. lol
Ya'll have a great time, try and save me some of that boxed wine, it my fav.
I will check in tom morning when I get off, hope my co workers will bring me some coffee tonight with tons of coffeemate. They better treat me to lunch tonight, after all I am gracing them by being there.
Oh, I can also check in from work on my 85th iphone that was gift from my new friend, she knows how to help me.
I do have to stop a Target on my way home at 6:32am tom morning, hint hint
Catch ya'll later.
Oh, I have just been informed that the start time of the relays I previously posted was incorrect. The correct start time is 5 hours from now. I should know better than to state info from Radar as fact.
Oh no, it should be exhausted. Sorry
Kate's probably calling TlC--
Kate: Ok, it's been a year since you cancelled my awesomely, amazing show. The kids and the fans miss the show. YOU said we would be doing updates-when do we start filming?
TLC: We said we HOPED to do updates. Hoping doesn't make it so-you, all of people, should know that.
Kate: But, but, but the fans are devastated. They need their fix-they will just die if we don't have an update show.
TLC: Hmm, they didn't seem to care last year when the ratings tanked, which is why we cancelled you.
Kate: That's not so! They loved us!! There must have been something wrong with that Nielsen thingy thing that shows ratings. I have over a 100,000 followers on twitter. They will watch-No lie!!
TLC: Sorry, Kate-no go. Honey Boo Boo is the new Kate-people adore her. You're yesterday's darling-time to move on.
Kate: You'll see-I'm going to have a dating show that will blow Honey Boo Boo's ratings out of the water. Just you wait-I'll show you!
TLC: Whatevah. Bye Kate. Oh, by the way, the film crew wishes that you'd stop referring to them as "family". They were in it for the paycheck-just like you.
Kate: Don't you dare hang up on me. I made TLC, I made TLC, I made TLC...Um, hello?
Purseboy, I am coordinating relay races and was wonder if you would consider transporting marathon racers via Vespa for those who don't have a partner for the Marathon Race event? You will be required to carry a backpack and ensure that it is stocked with lipstick and other makeup.
Holy smokes,
These comments are making me pee my pants laughing so hard!
I almost, well..... not really, feel sorry for the butt of these jokes. She brought it all on herself.
You *almost, but not quite* have to feel sorry for someone so stupid. It's like the Golden Rule to feel compassion for the handicapped and mentally challenged.
Best thing - kart, close your twitter and go away. No one wants you around aneeee mooooore.
Butt, door, buh bye.
PS, that poor ball-less kiwi, won't someone help him escape? Will anyone buy him a first class ticket to NZ?
Anyone?
Bueller?
My apologies to all the handicapped and mentally challenged people everywhere. I should never have mentioned you and kart in the same sentence.
Sincere apologies.
Kate is a twit@185....Too funny...the scary thing is..I can actually see that phone call happening...
Joy,
please somebody shove a stick you know where
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You've apparently been sadly misinformed. She already has a stick up there....
Bwa hahahahaha
OK, I'd better step back for a few minutes. I seem to be getting too much pleasure out of mocking.
Ms. Manners says I'm being a bitch.
Later guys.......
Springasteen's here? I thought Billy Joel was coming. He's going to sing "Stiletto" with Kate in mind:
She cuts you out,
she cuts you down,
She carves up your life,
But you won't do nothing,
As she keeps on cutting
Purseboy said... 135
Is there anywhere on earth I can go where I'll be safe from her?
______
1. Any Charity place in the US or NZ.
2. Any place that has applications for jobs.
3. Jon's house.
4. Kate parents/family's houses.
5. Any place that she can't score freebies.
Is anyone on this blog actually drinking booze right now?...it sure sounds like you guys are...
You are all too funny! I check in to see what is going on and enjoy the snark but can't remember the last time I posted. I'm posting today to thank you all for the belly laughs.
Kate has become so boring but the community rules! :-) What a nice community has formed. Power to you all.
KAT, no booze, just a Pepsi I ordered with my Panda Express meal. The Kate/TLC experience is just so bizarre and couple that with the, uh...uhm, Kate experience that is shared through her Twitter, and it just flows effortlesslyish.
All of you are making me laugh very hard today - good thing I have the office to myself this afternoon!
On behalf of Kate, I just dropped in to sneer disapprovingly at your party and ask condescendingly, "You like this?" As for me, I'm freezing out here! It looks like it might drizzle, not to mention - all of you are laughing and having a good time, and NO ONE is paying any attention to ME!
Still waiting on Billy:
She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes,
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies,
And she only reveals what she wants you to see.
She hides like a child but she's always a woman to me.
She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you,
She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe you,
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free,
Yeah she steals like a thief but she's always a woman to me.
Oh, she takes care of herself, she can wait if she wants,
She's ahead of her time.
Oh, and she never gives out and she never gives in,
She just changes her mind.
And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding,
Twitter silence=Jon has the kids....twitter is only a distraction from her kids. If she lost all custody..her twitter would close...how insulting to her MINDLESS fans..poor things...too stupid to figure it out...
Hello, Mr. Gosselin Book man? Only one thing can make this celebration complete. Well, my bottle of pineapple/orange/banana juice to accompany the coconut rum, but besides that - could you come to the party tonight and bring your book? Thanks!
Rhymes-I still find it ironic that "She's Always a Woman" was one of the songs Kate danced to on DWTS. I always wondered if she actually knew what the lyrics were and that they applied to her. Nah-the only lyric she would think applied to her was the title of the song.
Well I'm exhaustedish but I finally made it.
Where's the kitchen? I want to sit on the counter.
In honor of this very black day in Gosselin history, I wore Kate's black funeral sundress, and dabbed fake tears all day long.
Whaaaahhhh... Why doesn't anyone like MEEEEEEEEEEE.
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