Time Magazine put her in their "bad year" category opposite Kate Middleton in the good year column, blasting Kate for being fired from Coupon Cabin. Ha.
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Merry Christmas from the Realitytvkids.com staff!
Sunday, December 23, 2012
A bad year. For Kate anyway.
Much like last year when Kate made some "worst of" lists, on one of them even being compared to Gadhafi, she's popping up again on 2012 lists.
Time Magazine put her in their "bad year" category opposite Kate Middleton in the good year column, blasting Kate for being fired from Coupon Cabin. Ha.
Merry Christmas from the Realitytvkids.com staff!
Time Magazine put her in their "bad year" category opposite Kate Middleton in the good year column, blasting Kate for being fired from Coupon Cabin. Ha.
Merry Christmas from the Realitytvkids.com staff!
1136 sediments (sic) from readers:
«Oldest ‹Older 601 – 800 of 1136 Newer› Newest»Jumping in, thanks for posting your thoughts on Les Mis! That and Django Unchained are next on my list.
Readerlady, beautifully put. Seems like you have a plethora of loving friends and many passions in your life. Good for you, thank you for sharing.
An obit in the NYTimes caught my eye the other day, probably because it said 'quints.' Mary Ann Fischer, who had 11 children and one set of quints in 1963 died. Back then, quints were a big deal - they were the first quints to survive in the US. One of the children was quoted: “We watch out for each other,” he said. “Growing up with media and everything, all the attention, it was always hard to trust people. It took awhile before we let people in."
The media exposure these children had was nothing compared to that of the Gosselin kids.
IDModo said: "I have also had 2 purebred Scotch collies, and they were both dumber than a box of paint. They were bred for looks, but it took 5 of them to play Lassie. I hope I'm not offending Collie owners."
I got a collie when my youngest was a toddler. He would sit out by the sandbox with my little guy & if anyone came near the fence, he would start "Lassie barking". He followed my son everywhere. My oldest has said many times that when he has kids, he will be getting a collie.
LMG, I don't think I have an answer for you. I know you didn't get to have Christmas with your Grandsons and this must really be hurting you.
It is so difficult for non smokers to be around the effects of smoking. Sounds like hubs compromised by not smoking around the little guys.
I can only guess how heavy your heart is right now. I am sorry for you.
Working Woman -- Standard Poodles make excellent pets, too. They are much calmer than the minis, easily trained, very smart, and very protective of their people. I like the names you've picked, but Jazz or Jazzy seems more a female name to me, and Havi seems more of a male name. I really like Nugget. That's so cute. I can picture a small dog, Terrier of some kind, maybe, called Nugget.
I've been giggling off and on all day. ROL really got bitten. Seems there was this guy who filed a restraining order against Britney Spears, claiming to be Kevin Federline's older brother, the real father of one of Brit's son. He claimed Britney stole his credit card one day at Kevin's home and used it to buy nearly 5,000 worth of comic books and Mad Magazines for the boys. When he demanded the money back, she threatened to expose their affair. ROL bought into it hook, line and sinker apparently, and reportedly had a big article on it, including quotes from a "source close to the family". The request for the restraining order was thrown out of court and the guy was exposed as a big fraud. Apparently he passed himself off as Adam Lanza's uncle and gave press interviews and visited Newtown after the shooting. He's really an ex-con from Pennsylvania who's now under arrest for parole violation. ROL really got caught with their pants down. Wonder if any heads will roll over this. There's an article on US Magazine's website titled "Christopher Federline - I'm the true father of Britney Spear's son" and one of the commenters on the article linked to an article about the fraud. Looks like several rag mags got bitten! Not really OT, because ROL is the one who printed that article about Jon that some of us had doubts about.
Yikes, that's $5000 worth of comic books, not 5000 comic books! Sorry.
Yes, Dmasy, he tries to compromise. And before the boys come here, I clean good, use Fabreze on the furniture and throw rugs, and we have air cleaners plus air fesheners and candles going. Although my daughter made comments about her father should quit, it never really bothered her before where she refused to bring the boys here.
We would never do anything to harm our boys, and I hate feeling like I'm in the middle of this. Due to my love for my hubs for almost 27 years, I am standing behind him, yet I don't want to alienate my daughter. My SIL does not have a problem with this, it seems it's just her and I don't understand why this stance all of a sudden.
JoyinVirginia said... 171
A betting pool! WooHoo!
How about 10:15 pm Eastern Daylight Savings Time?
OT Update on our Boston Terrier. We saw vet this afternoon, dog had another seizure a couple hours before. Her neuro exam is normal. She was on Rimadyl for a few days after a skin biopsy a week ago, I read seizures could be a potential side effect, vet says that is possibility, but she thinks it not likely. She got senior bloodwork panel, we will have results tomorrow. If it happens again we can try medication, and she can refer me to canine neurologist who can do MRI.
************************************************
Sending best wishes, and positive vibes to you & your Boston Terrier. May the remaining tests come back with normal results.
LoveMyGrandsons said... 1
''.......OT question: to those of you with grown daughters, do you sometimes get into major disagreements with them?''
~~~~~~~~
LMG.....yes, yes, yes! I have come to terms with the fact that getting along with an adult child is very difficult. You see them making mistakes, but you can't take their car keys from them the way you could when they were teens. They can say outrageous hurtful things, but you can't send them to their rooms till they get in a better mood. I really think the problem is that even though they are adults, sometimes they turn into obstinate teens right before your eyes. In my family, we have learned to just stop, and say to them that I'm not going ''to replay old tapes'', and I'd appreciate it if you would do the same. Over time, it has worked for us.
However, I must be honest and say that if she has put her foot down about the boys being in the house of a smoker, that very well may be a problem that won't go away. It doesn't leave you much choice about what to do if you want to see your grandsons. Sometimes, life just isn't fair.
LMG -- Has something else happened in your daughter's life recently that maybe brought this up? Maybe something even totally unrelated to smoking, you, or your DH? I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope things work out quickly. I know how much you adore those grandsons of yours and I can imagine how much this hurts. Virtual hugs and very real prayers.
I know, Remona; I see her point. However, she can't control her parents and now dictate to her dad how to live his life. We go to alot of effort to make sure the boys don't have the effects of smoking when they are here. I know it seems like I'm taking my hubs side, and I guess I am. I hate being in this position, and so does he.
Yes, readerlady, something has happened. My SIL's wonderful grandma is very sick and it's just a matter of time now. She is 85 and my daughter goes to her home 3 times a week to give shots and medicine. I know this has her thinking about our mortality, but I don't think forcing the issue this way is going to help.
Thank you for your prayers, I definitely could need them.
To everyone else, I'm sorry for derailing the blog in such a downer way. Please forgive.
LoveMyGrandsons said... 1
Hi all. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.
Millicent, that was a fantastic post about why you are not jealous of Kate. I agree that many of us have so much more (not money) of the things in life that really matter. Kudos to you.
OT question: to those of you with grown daughters, do you sometimes get into major disagreements with them? My daughter and I had a falling out and it hurts when these things happen. I'm sure it will work itself out, but she told me she is not coming out here this weekend for New Years because of it. I'm saddened not to see my boys for the holidays, but there's nothing I can do at this point except keep the lines of communication open. Sorry for this post. I've already talked to family and my best friend, but was curious as to how others would best handle this situation.
It has to do with my hubs' smoking cigarettes, which he has done since he was 14. He never smokes in front of the boys, but it has become an issue with my daughter. Don't know what to do.
************************************************
I'm sorry to hear this, LoveMyGrandsons.
I know how much you love your grandbabies.
So to understand this correctly, even if your husband doesn't smoke in front of the boys for the duration of the visit, and you remove traces of cigarette smell- your daughter will still not bring your grandchildren over?
I hope your daughter changes her mind. There has to be another way to help her father quit smoking, without denying her boys from seeing their loving grandparents.
LoveMyGrandsons said... 12
''I know, Remona; I see her point. However, she can't control her parents and now dictate to her dad how to live his life.''
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LMG....as a smoker, I understand the position of both you and your husband. I can't give you any advise about how to possibly change her mind. All I am saying is that your daughter controls your grandsons, which forces you and your husband into making the choice of seeing the boys at her house or not seeing them at all. Or your husband can quit smoking. I don't see any other choice, because it sounds as though your daughter isn't going to change her mind.
Yes, Pink, she has now told us that she will not bring the boys here. When she comes in, she still says she can smell the nicotine, and I'm sure she can being a non-smoker and living in a home with no smokers. I am not blaming my daughter, and I'm sorry if I came across that way because I understand her viewpoint. However, I honestly don't think this stance will help the situation. I don't know.
You're right, Remona, but it's not my choice to make. I know that hurts my husband, and maybe it will change things. However, I also know my daughter got her hard headedness from her father. Geeesh.
LovemyGrandsons, I don't have kids so I may not be the best person to give advice, but I want you to know I am thinking of you and will pray for a quick reconcilation between you and your daughter.
You have proven yourself to be a devoted, loving grandmother and wonderful person, who truly deserves the best. Therefore, I believe it will work itself out. Your daughter loves you and you love her, and you seem to be of such value in her family's life -- even if it takes a bit of time, I am sure it will work itself out.
Again, sending my best wishes LMG.
Thank you, Working Woman; that was very sweet. As I said before, you are wise beyond your years, hon.
I am Jellus of Kate. I'd trade her ex-husband for mine in a heartbeat.
Remona, you stated that you are a smoker;; I used to be. Do your kids give you a hard time about it? If so, how do you deal with it?
LovesMyGrandsons....Your situation sounds just like my brothers. Except it is my sister-in-law that is the smoker. Is your daughter a germaphobe? My niece turned into one after her son was born. She has a special playroom he goes in. You have to wash and change if you want to go in. Anyway her mom smokes and is not allowed to visit. When my niece comes to town she will not stay at my brothers house. My brother however is allowed to come and visit and stay at her house. He does go to see them by himself with out his wife. Don't know if things will ever change. My sister-in-law will not quit smoking. She smoked while pregnant with all 4 of her kids and smoked as she was breast feeding them. So she will not change for anyone. I am so sorry for you and your husband. At least he has made the compromise not to smoke around the boys. Perhaps she will get over it and change her mind. I know how much those boys mean to you and your husband. You always talk so fondly about them. I will say a prayer for you that she comes around.
Thank you everyone for the dog advice. I will take it all into consideration when I adopt!
I know my perfect dog and I will find each other when the time is right. :)
Carezee, no my daughter is not a germaphobe. She just got extremely health conscious since she became a nurse. That's definitely not a bad thing, it just is hard when she tries to force old dogs to do new tricks. I know she is doing out of love for us, and out of love for her sons. I will continue to pray that God will help us to come through this together.
LMG, I can understand both sides.
I nearly threw my best friend out of the house
because she, one of her relatives and her best friend smoked in the house. I have told her that her relatives and friends are welcome to come as long as the smoke outside and outside only.
The odor that gets on the clothes of everyone in the house, in their hair, not to mention the breath of the smoker is sometimes hard for the
people "just visiting" to miss. Those who live with it everyday don't notice it. My friend did NOT know I could smell cigarettes on her all the time. Not a clue.
The problem with spraying and other attempts at cleaning smoke from a home is that the nicotine
forms a film on EVERYTHING. Walls, ceilings,
drapes, windows, cushions, rugs, absolutely every single thing in the house. The smoke is
sucked through the air circulating in the house.
You cannot contain it, and short of putting the
rug and couch in the laundry and scrubbing walls and ceilings with strong chemicals, you cannot get the nicotine out. A sensitive nose will smell tobacco a mile off.
This residual is called 'Third Hand Smoke'. First hand smoke is what a smoker breathes in when dragging on a cigarette/cigar/pipe. Second hand smoke is what burns off the tobacco
on the lit end of things. Third hand is what is in the air and settles all around.
I fully understand your daughter's concerns for her young sons to be breathing in this air. I honestly do.
I also know, first hand, the anguish it can cause when cigarettes become the point of a major conflict between family members.
My heart goes out to you, LMG, and to every member of your dear family.
Thank you, fidosmommy. I know from experience that everything you stated in your post is true. I know the hubs and I would never do anything to hurt our boys, but I understand my daughter's point of view. It's a hard situation.
LoveMyGrandsons said... 21
''Remona, you stated that you are a smoker;; I used to be. Do your kids give you a hard time about it? If so, how do you deal with it?''
~~~~~~~~
LMG....yes, my children gave me a real hard time about smoking. While my granddaughter was the age of your grandsons, they lived thousands of miles from me. When they moved to Texas, they had my granddaughter (who was a teenager) tell me that all she wanted for her birthday was for me to quit smoking. I tried, but only lasted three months. They gave me credit for trying.
A few years later, my kids made an appointment with a doctor for me for a complete check-up, including lung x-ray. When the tests came back, they marched into the doctor's office with me to hear the results of the tests. They asked him about my smoking and he said that my lungs were clear, and ''your mother IS going to die sometime, but it won't be due to smoking.'' Then he asked me if I was going to quit smoking, and I told him that I was addicted to nicotine. He just turned to the kids and said that my answer was his too. That was the end of that. BUT....those were my kids...not your daughter.
Sameo , sorry, no one here would be jealous of Kate.
First, she is homely, unattractive, has no talent whatsoever and has a voice that grates on anyone's neves as if someone is scraping a blackborard. Really, jealous, I have been around the block. I might get up a jealous nerve in my body for say........Elizabeth Taylor. Ugh, Kate Gosslin, crappy mother, horrible abusive wife, aniimal abuser, Yeah, sure we here on this blog are sure to be jealous.
Har de har har..
Ms Sameo, yupper, just lellus.
Maybe.
Remona, my hubs has tried to quit also. He was on that medication (advertised on TV) for almost 9 months. He also went to 2 seminars about how to quit smoking. He surprised me completely when he went to a hypnotist a couple years ago to quit smoking. He is addicted and he admits that and that smoking relaxes him after work. I don't know what the solution is.
LoveMyGrandsons.......I am a former smoker (I quit in the 70's) smoking upwards to 3 packs a day. Of course, back then, you could smoke just about anywhere.
Since quitting, I have developed a dreadful sensitivity to cigarette smoke and cannot be anywhere near smokers. I figure this is my payback for my smoking with no concern for others back then.
I wonder if one of your grandsons has a sensitivity to the smell of residual smoke. If this is the case, there may be a sensitivity to the cover-up attempts with Febreze and such.
If your husband is not smoking in front of the boys, then it sounds as if she is reacting to the odour, something that will be hard to change if your DH smokes inside.
I think you should ask your daughter if the boys are reacting, or if the issue is hers. Perhaps a compromise would be to ask your husband to smoke in a specific room in the house leaving the rest of the house fresher from the smell of smoke.
I understand both sides of this issue, but this is your home and your husband is a smoker. Your daughter cannot insist he quit, but she should help you sort out a compromise that will work for both her and the boys.
Thank you all for your opinions and advice. I know I can't nag my hubs because that will do no good. I am now confident that there will be some way to work this out because we all love each other, and each side has valid points. My point is I love my husband, my daughter, and my son-in-law very much. However, my grandsons are my pride and joy, so this will work itself out and I will do whatever it takes.
Thank you all, and again I'm sorry to hijack the blog with my personal issue. Thank you for your understanding.
Jumping In, my grandsons do not have any sesitivity that I have been told about. Thank you for your honesty. You put into words part of what I was feeling: that this is our home and he has earned the right to live how he wants to. Yet, he still shows that courtesy when the boys are here. See how I waver back and forth on this? It's my love for all concerned that causes my confusion and indecision.
Love my Grandsons, first of all I admire the hard work your husband has put forth in the past while trying to quit. It is truly an addiction for many people from what I hear, and it's not easy to even take those steps.
Secondly, although I am sad that this happened, as I know how much your family means to you, I'm very glad you shared it with us. It's been said before, this blog has really become so much more than a place to discuss Kate, and it's true.
No need to apologize, I think I can speak for everyone when I say we are always glad to give you our support/advice/opinions. Please keep us posted.
NewHampshire Jellus said... 28
Hi you made the rest of my night you made me laugh thank you -).
Sincerely,
Chef Summer.
Franky - shame on you a Mtl gal in snow pants OMG you have a style to
keep up 152
Lilly this cracked me up. when I lived in Vermont, we went to
Montreal frequently and called the style there "studied casual". The
hair mussed just so, the shirt pulled out just the right amount.
Franky, you have an image ot uphold. :)
*******
Now Tony I am jellus of. I want his job. Well, most of it. Was
Kahlahari the one where they ate that boar, butthole and all? Eww.
Even iron-gut Anthony seemed disgusted. I haven't caught too many of
the episodes with Zamir . What I've seen of him I like. He seems like
a character 161
Aunti Ann, Yes, that was the Kalahari - Tony said he got VERY sick.
All of the shows with Zamir are a amusing, the the Rust Belt show
where Zamir comes to the US and the last stop is in Buffalo is a total
hoot.
I am very partial to the upstate NY show which ends in New Paltz,
where I used to live. Can we do a blog about No Res. episodes? E
mail would do as well, if you're interested and if Admin would put us
in touch.
p.s. I have diibs on Tony's job.
************
PJsmomma
People often use shortened forms of screen names in their replies. I
assure you that "Rhymes with Witch" is Cockey Rhyming Slang for "Kate
is a Bitch". Hence, I prefer folks to call me Rhymes.
I have not seen "Ethel" but will seek it out. Thanks for the recommendation.
I seem to miss all the sheeple action! What time do they come on, and how many?? What is the point?
=================
Usually around this time. I'm glad that there's not a cover charge.
chefsummer said... 34
Hi there Chef, I have read you for some time. Always loved your input. You are a very astute gal.
The Momzilla, not so much.. Who would would EVER be jealous of that thing. She is reprehensible. What man would even touch her. Icikey, barfo, who would touch that. Yuck,
Lancaster County Mom, you're right. That's one thing I had forgotten about my collies. They were always very protective of the children when they were little.Sam even herded all the kids into a corner at my daughter's 4th birthday when I went out to the kitchen to get the cake, and stood in front of them until I got back in the room.
Love My Grandsons, I can really sympathize with your situation from every direction. I smoked for 50 years until hypnosis cured my habit 3 years ago. My daughter and her husband both smoke. None of us smoke in front of my granddaughter.
When I was ill recently my daughter very kindly did all our laundry at her house, and it came back clean but smelling strongly of smoke. I didn't say anything because of her kindness, but it was quite apparent.
I think you and your husband have gone more than halfway by using air deodorizer, not smoking when the children are there, and the other things you have done to make it possible for your grandsons to visit. Unless they have a serious allergy, I think you have done all you can.
Unfortunately the ball is in your daughter's court.I hope your family is able to find a compromise that satisfies everybody.In the meantime your grandsons know you love them, and that's the important thing for them to remember when they can't go to Grandma's house.
Hi Rhymes,
Yes, I get that people shorten user names, it just makes me giggle to be called by my devil doxie's name.
Did anyone see the Kennedy Center honors show? We didn't but my husband just had me watch Heart's AMAZING tribute to Led Zeppelin. Their reactions were priceless, it was so touching. It occurred to me that most people enjoy seeing others happy. I mean really, really enjoy it.
And then it occurred to me that Kate cannot stand seeing others happy. When they are, she jumps right in and sabotages it. I remember seeing an episode where they went to Florida and she refused to wear sunscreen. She whined that she does that all the ttime even though she gets sun poisoning, which of course she did, and ended up whining the entire time while Jon babied her. (Fast forward to her tanorexic self now and none of it makes sense.)
I wonder what make her do that......snatch away the fun. She may even be unaware she does it, but she sure does. She just can't stand seeing others have fun unless she is too, thereby making it about her. How sad.
NewHampshire Jellus said... 28
Woah, I have to jump in. To say Kate is homely? No, I think not. As a woman, I think Kate has looked beautiful at times in some of the photos I have seen of her. JMO. I guess I would have to know what your idea of attractive is...!
Paper Plates Forever! Yay! said... 40
Easy peesy for me, attractive would be someone with a Soul. I don't care how much straw you can pile on someones head, or how many pounds of plastic you can pile on someone. You are either a good mother, woman, wife, caretaker of lesser creatures. If you have no soul , you are more than homely, you are ugly, ugly evil.
She was homely when the kids were born and she is more than homely now. She is uglier than a wart.
LMG......first of all....HI!!! I have missed you. Hogs!
Now, to your question re: battling mothers and adult daughters....yes, yes, YES!! I have 3 sons so this is about me and my Mom. We have some knock-down, drawn out war of words at least twice a year! I see the problem as being simply that she won't listen to MEEE!! Ha ha ha! Just kidding. Not about the arguments though.
Now...about the smoking thing. Okay....yes. I am a dedicated smoker. I only read/post here while outside, smoking, with my best friend, IPad!!! Yep...even in winter. : (
I really am ashamed that these little things have got the best of me for over 30 years. Hate feeling powerless but, like dear Remona, I'm just addicted. Hubby and I quit for just over a year but then, on our annual beach holiday to the Mayan Riviera, stupid Lbelle hops out of the cab at the resort and declares "I'm JUST going to smoke on vacation.". Ran into the gift shop, smokes and lighter in hand and enjoyed the crap out of myself, smoking and imbibing Piña Coladas all the days and nights. Well, 11 days later, we left but I kept on smoking. Stupid, stupid, stupid....I know. Good for hubby though, he still to this day has not had a one!!
Anyhoo...hold tight....this DOES have something to do with your issue! Okay, years and years ago ( like 15 or so? ) we both smoked in the house. Then it dawned on us that it was not great for the boys ( duh us! ) so we took it outside. Remember, we live in Ontario so sometimes it's not so enjoyable....understatement of the day....but we got used to it just fine and I personally can't believe that we ever did smoke in the house now. It really does get into everything and nothing but not smoking IN the house can make up for that, IMHO. You CAN air out, clean and spray but I think it just puts a dent into it.
Wow...I'm writing a novel here!! Anyways...after during my non-smoking year, I REALLY noticed how offensive the smell was...probably for the first time ever. It would totally gross me out when even a smoker lined up behind me in a store check out, at the bank, etc, etc, So...since I started up again I'm NUTS about doing anything and everything to not offend my fellow man. LOL! I have my smoking jacket, sweater, hat, scarf and gloves and when I'm done I bee line it right to the bathroom to wash my hands and face, brush my teeth ( they ARE nice and white!!) and put on nice smelling lotion. Oh....also have a spray for my hair to freshen up, even though it's been in a ponytail under a hat. I have a 3 year old Grandson, my son smokes, DIL doesn't and that is how we do things in regards to GS and 3rd hand smoke, etc. My DIL would also be the same as your DD is about the situation. Sometimes I think the whole 3rd hand stuff is going too far but I guess that's only because it's the 'newest' info about smoking.????? I think it's up there in the same category as all the environmental toxins out in the big, bad world and that we just can't expect kids to NEVER be exposed to ANYTHING harmful like that. Can't see that being realistic, but that's just me.
The whole point of this novel is: do you think hubby would be open to trying to smoke only outdoors? I'm sure I know ALL the reasons he wouldn't like to do it but it's really not that bad after all. You never know.
Hope you guys all work things out. You are a SUPER Grandma and my heart breaks knowing that you are stuck in between all of this and mostly that you may miss out on this weekend's Grandson time. I know it means the world to you.
LMG, I understand your DD position, she wants her father healthy and alive and the smell of covered up smoke and nicotine is really not that appealing. I smoked for years and after my father died from cancer, gave it up without a thought. However, my mother simply can't stop.
She did make a concession though to my niece and nephews begging her to stop. She no longer smokes in the house. She thoroughly cleaned everything and since then, not only does the house and everything in it smell fresh, it has helped her cut back. She either goes in the garage or outside on the deck in nice weather. Might that be a consideration for your husband and ease the concerns of your daughter?
That was supposed to be HUGS !.......not HOGS!!
*sigh* as I light another smoke!!
: /
Lbelle...please know that my teasing is based in deep laughter. We all make typing mistakes. None are quite as cute as your "Hogs" to LMG. I think we should all start sending each other Hogs!!
It just tickled me. Thank you.
LOL Lbelle, great minds and all that ... plus we're both from Ontario!
NewHampshire said... 37
I not a mom yet but I do have a wonderful mother that is the opposite of Kate.
When it all started Kate was very cute I say in the last 2+ yrs she gotten homely/manly.
So not jealous from me and you either I see -).
LMG, wish I could wiggle my nose, Samantha sytle, and make this go away. Know it will work itself out and soon. My heart aches for you right because we all know your love for these grandchildren is so powerful. Sending hugs and prayer and support. I LMG, too.
Dmasy......45:
Ha Ha!! I actually laughed out loud too when I read the post!!
HOGS to all!!
Oooh.......I like it. Kind of catchy, no?
Smoochie......46:
Cool! A local! Where abouts are you? I understand if you don't want to post that but thought I'd ask. We are in Caledon...just NW of Toronto, about 45minutes.
I think what makes Kate sooooo unattractive is her giant ego.
Her fans worship the ground she walks on and she think the "haters" her sooo jelly of her.
Cambridge/Kitchener area and work in Mississauga, so fairly close!
Millicent,
#149 - what a wonderful, wonderful post. :)
Okay but I still say her "shrieks" of laughter doesn't ring true if she has to sabatoge all the fun to be had. Something smells and it isn't the fish.
But...I find it incredibly odd she seems to spend ALL her time with her "big girls," rarely mentions any time she might have spent with her younger kids.
Then what do I expect? If a 12 year old is at your age level and least she comfortable with the twins. I still think it's weird. It's okay to spend time with your kids but that's all she appears to do. Play iPad games. As a friend pointed out earlier, I think we both view the iPad as sort of, well, I view it a tad useless just another device people "must have."
Playing games with her kids must be her equvilant to a girl's night out these days. But hey at least she's not licking anymore feet. However if she's that glued her her stupid iPhone, iPad (i-Am So Glad My Tax Dollar's Didn't Pay) device she could at least use it to look up the "want adds," every now then. Someone somewhere must have use for a washed up reality star...hmmm...you might be interested in trying out working at a tanning salon. What with a 40% discount offered to most employees and basic stores, you'd reach your desired shade of orange in no time. But, Kate, if you need help desiphering if youv'e reach just the ride shade, take the orange crayon from your kids crayon box along to help you out.
OT post but are there any other iPad users who have had issues with blogs for about a week or so? One day I came on here and the posts were all pretty much full page size and I couldn't enlarge the font or anything. When I got to the bottom of the page I saw something like 'View Web Version' so I clicked on that and then it was all back to normal.
Trouble is, it's like the iPad now has the other version as its default or whatever it's called because I have to change it all back to that Web version if it's a new thread AND it happens every time I post. Real pain in my frozen butt now! It's not just here either, same thing happens on ALL blogs I read now.
Does anybody know if there was some sort of an update to Blogger that has caused this? Is there any way to put it back to the old setting permanently?
HOGS to anybody who can help!!! : )
Smoochie.....51:
Wow! We are practically neighbors!
I also used to live in Guelph and Mississauga.
Too bad our snow was a day late and a dollar short, EH?
Hubby's on his way to bed. Gotta go say goodnight. Be right back and hoping I get to be here for Troll Time. I'm in the PERFECT mood for an encounter!!
Bwahahahahaha!!!
Love My Grandsons - just a thought, but back when my friend and I were young and had our little cleaning business we cleaned a house for a smoker, and we thought what was the best way that we could the most leverage from and stay within the budget. We took one swipe at the walls and knew that was the way to go. We washed down the walls and it was unbelievable what came from them, mirrors, and windows, and even light fixtures. We did it with sponge mops using the same technique as that of a painter, and it went quickly. When we left there you would never know a smoker lived there. With Febreze and maybe an ionizer, that should do the trick. I guess what I am trying to say is you could offer that as a compromise and thereafter maybe your husband could smoke outside or in the garage (as noted above) which from my own experience decreases the amt of smoking that one does and that could be a good thing as well. Maybe she would work with you on that as I know how much you love your grandsons and want them in your home.
Lbelle, I have no idea why Blogger now defaults to that on the iPad, but I hate it! Such a pain to scroll to the bottom to change to web version. I don't think there is a way to disable it.
Marie said... 53
C & M are all most 13 shouldn't they be hanging out w/friends at the mall or movies ect?
And not hanging out with mom all the time?
The twins should be doing normal teen things with other girls there ages.
Try not to engage the poster posting as NewHampshire. She's here to stir the pot by using tactics opposite of what sheeple normally say. She is over the top with the bizzaro world opposite.
Anonymous said... 59
''Try not to engage the poster posting as NewHampshire.''
~~~~~~~~~
GMTA. I was just coming here to ask if NewHampshire was causing clean-up to be needed!
Lbelle - I'm having the same issues with my iPad. If anyone has a permanent solution to fix this ( other than constantly having to go to the bottom of the page to click view web version) I will double Lbelle's HOGS. It is a total PITA!
Anonymous said... 59
Try not to engage the poster posting as NewHampshire. She's here to stir the pot by using tactics opposite of what sheeple normally say. She is over the top with the bizzaro world opposite.
********
If true, we'll figure it out ourselves. Thanks.
Marie said... 53
C & M are all most 13 shouldn't they be hanging out w/friends at the mall or movies ect?
And not hanging out with mom all the time?
The twins should be doing normal teen things with other girls there ages.
D
I agree with you those girls should be socializing with their own friends while on break. The girls around here that are 12 are hanging out at others house having fun. they have even gone to the movies
it seems she only lets them have friends over only for birthday parties and the rest of the time its spent with mommie, she has to let them off the leash some and let them enjoy time with their friends what is she so scared of?
Sorry fidosmommy I didn't mean to offend. I just thought I'd point something out that was obvious to me and you're right, I'm sure it would have become obvious to evryone else. Again, sorry.
Smoking is flat out disgusting. You asked, so here's my response. Quit. You're killing those kids you love so much.
I'm a realtor and the only way to remove tobacco smoke from a home is to rip out the carpet and paint everything.
Houses for sale that have been smoked in go for at least $10,000 less than the appraisal price.
Sorry, I don't see the problem here. Cigarettes KILL. There shouldn't even BE a dilemma! What am I missing? Sure tobacco is addictive but it shouldn't be more addictive than being with your family!
I've got terrible asthma because my mother smoked her entire pregnancy. I never understood how mothers could do that. There should be a law or something. LOL Maybe there is today.
Anonymous said... 64
Sorry fidosmommy I didn't mean to offend. I just thought I'd point something out that was obvious to me and you're right, I'm sure it would have become obvious to evryone else. Again, sorry.
******
Absolutely no need for an apology. You offended no one. We both simply expressed an
observation/opinion. Nothing more, nothing less. Have a good night.
If your husband is waiting for a sign that it's time to quit smoking, maybe this is it.
When a sheeple is identified maybe it'd be fun to go back into the "agreeance" mode to their posts. Drive them nuts ... they'll go back to their cabal and bleat about how crazy we are. It's worth a try.
I saw Le Mis on Broadway over 20 years ago and hated it. Could be the nosebleed seats I had compliments of a cheap tour from So. CA. But otherwise my week in NYC was wonderful. I didn't care for it when we read it in English Lit but I just might like the movie version (better seats).
A bad year for Kate... and a good year for all of us, here at 15 Mins.
I've been away, at the CA Coastline- but still lurking, on my tiny phone! I'm certainly not jellus of any materialistic item(s) on Kate's have/wish list. As someone here said, we measure our blessings differently.
"It would be just like Christmas... if I didn't have to take out my checkbook."
-Kate Gosselin (TLC House Maintenance Episode)
My favorite? "Feed our FRIENDS... starve the Sheeple."
Feeding a friend- I will miss you, Ex Nurse and keep us posted, now and again, if you will.
Hi Love My Grandsons, just checking in and didn't have time to read all posts. When it comes to smoking, as a nonsmoker, I can tell when I get in a car if anyone had smoked i'm it. I can smell smoke on peoples clothing. I am sensitive to it, and do my best to avoid it.
Living in Virginia, home of cigarette companies and big tobacco growing state, I have smelled tobacco drying in barns or when it comes to the warehouses, and the tobacco plant smells amazing, I really like the smell. Then people had to go mess things up by making the tobacco into cigars or cigarettes!
I really can't tolerate being in a home where someone smokes for more than a few minutes. As I get older it messes up the old sinuses more.
Fact: your dd controls access to your grandchildren. How much do you want them to visit your home? It really isn't a power struggle, because she has the power here. It isn't about being loyal to your dh. It is about respecting her decisions as their mother. Try for a compromise. Can he use the nicotine gum or patches? How about the electronic cigarettes? another poster suggested he smoke in one room, or outdoors, would he be willing to try that?
It is very hard to quit completely after so many years, which is why I suggest trying for some kind of compromise. could they visit and you put them up in a hotel?
Mammy medical centers now are going to completely smoke free campuses. At one local hospital I know of, if an employer wants to smoke they have to be completely off the property, as extreme add if they are caught smoking in their car while it is parked in the hospital lot, they can be disciplined. And this is in Richmond, former home of the annual Tobacco Festival! So your dd may be getting a lot of nonsmoking messages at work.
I would just encourage you to do whatever possible to compromise and to encourage your dh to talk to his doctor about nicotine patches or gum to use when grand children come to visit. And remind your dd how hard it us to fight addiction to nicotine, it is physical addiction as well as habit.
The Friday morning Board Room of Sheep, more than likely just added my post to their...
"She's 23rd... according to my calculations of drive-by responses @ 15!"
"Is that good enough, CJ???"
-Sameo (same-old)
Joy in VA... keep dancing. Dance, like no one is watching! (I did, when Tony won DWTS ;)
I have remembered and appreciated your traveling posts for years now, going back to another Blog. Thank you for the online journey.
Fresh air please said... 68
If your husband is waiting for a sign that it's time to quit smoking, maybe this is it.
________
Awww LMG--your post brought me out of retirement. I am so sorry to hear of your situation.
IMO, it is your daughter's right to take steps to protect her children from any threat that she perceives. I am an ex-smoker--I quit when I started nursing school, years before I married and had a family. I am now extremely sensitive to smoke, and, adding additional chemical scents on top of smoke just makes it worse. Someone who lives with any kind of odor becomes acclimated to the smell, and therefore cannot be a judge of how noticeable it may be to someone else.
Your husband has an addiction, and, the nature of addictions is that they destroy relationships and families. IMO your anger with your daughter is misplaced. He may be the best guy in the world, but, it is your husband that is the problem because he is choosing a nasty, dirty and unhealthy addiction over your beloved grandchildren.
I think Fresh Air makes a great point in suggesting that this is a sign that he should quit smoking. You are a very kind person and I know that you want to think the best of your husband. However, it is very important for you to support your daughter's decisions. By siding with and defending your husband, you are alienating your daughter and disrespecting her role as a mother.
It is hard to let go of the fact that they were once our young children and we could set the boundaries and dole out the consequences. Your daughter is a grown woman and deserves your respect and support.
I will keep you in my thoughts, LMG...
LoveMyGrandsons - I know you love your daughter as much as you love your grandsons, and please, I hope you don't take this the wrong way. . . I think your daughter is being unreasonable. Yes, she is educated on the dangers of smoking, and second hand smoke and third hand smoke, but if your husband doesn't smoke inside the house while she and the kids visit and has agreed to smoke outside what more can you do than you've already done. Your house is not a Chernobyl disaster area. They are not moving in are they? They're only visiting for a short while. They will survive unscathed I'm sure. Your dd will not be able to control all environments and maybe she should learn to be a little more flexible too. I don't mean to sound harsh. You've done all you can do so far as I can tell. It's unfair to you to be put in this position and I do hope you can work it out.
Your house is not a Chernobyl disaster area
I disagree. The entire house is full of carcinogens.
Yes, this mother can't control EVERY environment her children are in but why shouldn't she control the ones she, rightfully, can? If you can't ask your own family to support you in something so deadly, who can you ask? No one. Which is why this mother is has made the decision she has.
A smoker isn't a BAD person. I think they are just a little inconsiderate of others. Times have changed. People should change.
I'm sure the daugher would support the father quitting. Families = support.
This disagreement is between your husband and your daughter. Triangulating it will only make
everything worse. Step out of it and let them
decide who's going to make the first move in a compromise. If he wants to see his grand children in his home, he will. If she wants her children to see their grandfather more than she wants to stand on the issue, she will. The grandchildren will lose if neither one of them can start and they will all win as soon as they do. Meanwhile this is not your fight. You are too emotionally involved to even be a moderator and not have them all believe you are working for the other side.
Jenni said... 76
I disagree. The entire house is full of carcinogens.
======
Why would you say that? Can you provide scientific evidence to prove that her entire house is FULL of carcinogens?
Love my grandsons, first I want to say that I don't post much anymore but in the past you have put a smile in my heart more then once by so kindly responding to what I have written. I thank you for that.
I haven't read all of the things said about your dd and gs's. I have to say that the first thing that hit my mind and my heart was, do you think this drastic decision is maybe her way to get dh, her ddad to stop smoking all together. This is something only you can put the pieces of her behavior together to find that answer. I just thought to myself that if there was something I wanted my mom to do because her life depended on it and she just didn't get the hint, I would have to do tough love. If you raised her to respect her parents maybe she feels uncomfortable telling you like it is. Maybe she doesn't know how to get across her fear of losing the ones she loves dear. It's a scary thing for a child, no matter our age.
LMG, most of the time when children make such a drastic decision, especially if there is no kind of warring going on among you, there is a hidden reason that has not surfaced. I would bet money that this ultimatum comes from her fear, her love, her frustration, and even her helplessness.
Just one more thing. I am 54 and my mom has been an addict all my life. Because of the lifestyle I had to live in I never tried any kind of drug or alchol. When I was 25 I had surgery and became addicted to pain meds. It destroyed my selfesteem and my life for 25 more years. I went through drug rehab a few times and learned a lot about my addiction and my mom's addiction. We tried everything for mom but I have just resigned myself that mom is mom and I love her. People may not agree with that but I decided having a relationship with mom was the most important thing. She has been an addict for more years than she's been clean. Knowledge is power and I know that if rehab they said that smoking is the hardest thing to beat. Even over heroin and meth. Maybe you and your dd could check out some support groups. Maybe you can educate her on it's difficulties. I'm NOT,NOT, NOT saying you should come to terms like I did, every situation is different. Who knows what is right or wrong, that is for you to decide. My prayers are with you.
Sorry all for this being so long. I hope it helped some LMG. God bless
Tobacco smoke is composed of numerous types of gasses and particulate matter, including carcinogens and heavy metals, like arsenic, lead, and cyanide. Sticky, highly toxic particulates, like nicotine, can cling to walls and ceilings. Gases can be absorbed into carpets, draperies, and other upholsteries. A 2002 study found that these toxic brews can then reemit back into the air and recombine to form harmful compounds that remain at high levels long after smoking has stopped occurring.
and
Children of smokers are especially at risk of thirdhand smoke exposure and contamination because tobacco residue is noticeably present in dust throughout places where smoking has occurred. The homes, hair, clothes, and cars of smokers can have significant levels of thirdhand smoke contamination. Young children are particularly vulnerable, because they can ingest tobacco residue by putting their hands in their mouths after touching contaminated surfaces.
http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2010/02/04/0912820107.full.pdf+html?sid=a9fa8602-2b11-433d-a6cd-173e01d3e409
pnas is The Proceedings Of The National Academy Of The Sciences of the USA.
I read here several hours ago and was not going to comment, as usual. But the topic of a daughter being so controlling about the smoking issue bothered me. I suppose I agree with Auntie Ann the most. Smoking seems to be the thing that people are given free reign to blast others about without expecting any reaction. I think good people who love and respect one another do not make demands like this. The dad is in his own home, and he is not smoking in front of the children. He is not promoting it. Maybe the daughter and kids could practice tolerance and acceptance and loving one another. Jesus loved the sinner but hated the sin. Smoking isn't even a sin. What is the lesson of the Christmas season? Why oh why do we put up roadblocks and conditions to our interactions? Here in my state the potsmokers far outweigh the cigarette smokers. I would venture to say that only 15% of adults smoke cigarettes here, but 50% smoke pot. The world has gone nuts. How I wished we exchanged common manners and good will.
She quit mentioning the massages from the twins but I have a feeling that is part of the reason they "hang" with her every night as well.
readerlady #196--One of the most touching posts I've ever read here. You are so wise.
Remona Blue said... 10
LoveMyGrandsons said... 1
''.......OT question: to those of you with grown daughters, do you sometimes get into major disagreements with them?''
~~~~~~~~
LMG.....yes, yes, yes! I have come to terms with the fact that getting along with an adult child is very difficult. You see them making mistakes, but you can't take their car keys from them the way you could when they were teens. They can say outrageous hurtful things, but you can't send them to their rooms till they get in a better mood. I really think the problem is that even though they are adults, sometimes they turn into obstinate teens right before your eyes. In my family, we have learned to just stop, and say to them that I'm not going ''to replay old tapes'', and I'd appreciate it if you would do the same. Over time, it has worked for us.
However, I must be honest and say that if she has put her foot down about the boys being in the house of a smoker, that very well may be a problem that won't go away. It doesn't leave you much choice about what to do if you want to see your grandsons. Sometimes, life just isn't fair.
__________________________
Remona Blue, yes, grown children can say outlandish, mean, hurtful things. Right now, I'm in the middle of something critical to my daughter's future between my ex-husband and my daughter. I can't say anymore than that, but it has me tied up in knots.
LMG, I agree with Auntie Ann's assessment, but I have a suggestion. Why don't you all agree to meet at a nice restaurant (or some other neutral spot) where you can spend some time just enjoying each other's company. "Hogs" to you! :)
LMG:
That's a a big question. I think your husband is cooperating to the best of his ability yet I understand your daughter's reluctance to expose her sons to the atmosphere- as a non-smoker with asthma I can smell it and start to cough despite all efforts to remove it by a smoker.
But why now? The boys have been in your home often. I don't think your daughter would suddenly deprive you and her sons of each other's company. IMO you should call and talk. Maybe agree to resolve it somehow after the holidays? Meet in a neutral spot? I agree the boys won't be harmed by visiting your home- I think your daughter is upset about something else. Maybe worried about your own health or your husband's? Explain all the measures taken to safeguard the boys. I really think a good talk is needed to clear the air so to speak!
Good luck- I know how much you love your family.
Way OT. I know to fold a bed sheet into thirds, accordion style, and place it into the dryer so it dries evenly without twisting. Is there a way to put a sheet in a top loading washing machine so that it doesn't turn into a ropelike twisted macramé project? Thanks!
Carolina peach, I want to know the accordion fold secret. I twist my sheets in both the washer and the dryer. Ever notice how the contour corner of the fitted sheet always hides a sock from you?
http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2010/02/04/0912820107.full.pdf+html?sid=a9fa8602-2b11-433d-a6cd-173e01d3e409
-----------------
I really don't have the time to digest six pages of fine print of scientific terms/chemical analyses of something so complex. My question is if there has been a study done (and the results) of children who have gotten cancer by touching walls and putting their fingers into their mouths, or kids who have come into direct contact with a smoker's hair and clothing who have gotten ill. Are there studies on this, the stats, and the time frame? Is this a case of a rat ingesting 3,000 cans of artificially-sweetened soda a day for six years and then finding that a tumor has developed?
Is LMG babysitting on a regular basis? How often do the kids visit...several times a week? If the health issue (the house being contaminated with carcinogens) is the concern and "you're killing those kids" (which, personally, I thought was a rather insensitive remark -- LMG didn't need to hear that), then I agree with Auntie Ann's comment. They are not living there. They are visiting occasionally.
If it's a matter of the entire house smelling horribly of cigarette smoke, or LMG's husband puffing away in front of the kids (which I assume he doesn't), then I could understand her daughter's concern. I wouldn't want to expose my kids to that.
It just sounds like something more is going on here than the cigarette issue, and I don't think that LMG is able to step away and let her husband and daughter work it out. She is very much a part of this issue. These are HER grandchildren that she loves so much, HER husband, and HER daughter. She wants them to be able to visit in her house where she can interact with them in a comfortable, familiar setting, not in an impersonal environment.
LMG,
Sorry to hear of your troubles! Prepare your house as if the grandkids were coming over (febreze,etc), and instead have a non-smoking friend come over and give you an honest assessment.
My mom is a HEAVY smoker. Her entire house and its contents reek of cigarette smoke. As a result, she sees her grandkids only a few times a year (my kids see her a few times a yr, and we live a few blocks away). They can't stand the smell.
When family does visit, everything that entered her home has to be cleaned...clothes, bodies, hair, jackets, luggage, purses, etc.
I take her a lot of places in my car, and when I return home I have to febreeze my car and leave the windows down overnight to get the smell out of my car...(the smell is on her clothes, etc).
Your daughter has probably been upset with the smoking thing for a long time, and has finally been brave enough to say something about it.
Like I said, have a friend give you an honest assessment if they can smell any smoke in the house (furniture, drapes, carpet,ect.
I hope everyone can come to a compromise that is appeases everyone.
:)
heather here
My mother is a heavy smoker and my niece hates going there--she calls it the "smelly house."
Maybe it's the kids who hate the smoke and have said something to your daughter.
But it doesn't really matter, because the choice is yours to make now:
Defend/uphold a smoking environment or see your grandsons.
You can debate and fight and argue and get feelings hurt and be right/wrong, etc., but what is the point of all that?
Seems like a no brainer to me. Find a solution. Don't make this more of a fight than it has become.
LMG, I've been reading the responses to your dilemma and they've been very balanced, so you've got great input from the smart ladies here.
I hope this inspires Mr. LMG to quit. That would be a blessing all around!
Good luck and I hope everything works out.
Hello, Ex Nurse! I don't expect you to come out of semi-retirement to respond, but I just wanted to say I miss you and your insight and wish we knew each other in real life. I hope things are smoothing out in your world, but if not, that they do eventually, as I know it's a painful time for you. Take care.
heather here...
Seems like a no brainer to me. Find a solution. Don't make this more of a fight than it has become.
>>>>>>>>
I think LMG is TRYING to find a solution. I certainly don't see the situation as a "no brainer." It appears that her husband is very addicted to smoking. Perhaps you think it's a no brainer to just quit? That would solve all the problems. Sadly, just quitting isn't as easy as perhaps you think it is.
One final comment about jealousy. Just because you may truly be jealous doesn't mean your points aren't good ones and valid. Jealousy doesn't automatcially mean anything you have to say about an issue must automatically be rejected. I may be jealous of white Christmases, but it doesn't mean my point that white Christmases on the flip side can make travel dangerous isn't a perfectly valid point.
Dmsy 87, when I take the sheet out of the washing machine and wrestle the perverted twisting out, I shake it out. (You might have to come over for coffee and watch because trying to explain it is getting complicated for me.) Just very loosely fold it like a fan (accordion fold) from top to bottom, roughly into thirds. Then place it in the dryer. The fitted ones will still hide socks in the corners, but they stay loose and don't get tangled as a rule. If anybody can 'splain this better, please do. Thanks.
"Seems like a no brainer to me. Find a solution. Don't make this more of a fight than it has become." (Heather)
Words of wisdom, Heather... So simple, yet so profound in its simplicity. In an argument, once each party had a chance to state its position, it's counterproductive to keep rehashing them. Your daughter doesn't want her children to be exposed to thirdhand smoke, your husband is not ready to stop smoking. The search for a solution starts from there...
It's hard to argue with an addict. And cigarette smokers are addicts.
When I said I have to de-smoke my car when she is in it, I should have clarified that she doesn't smoke in my car-it is her PERSON that emanates the smell.
When I run errands around town, I make my mom's house the last place I have to go. It's embarrassing to go to the post office reeking of smoke. I always apologize to those around me that I have been in a smoker's home. It doesn't matter if you are in her house one minute or all day, once you set foot in the door, you are covered in the smell of nicotine.
Sometimes after a holiday she will send us home with leftovers, which then go straight in the trash-the smoke smell is in the food.
Like I suggested, LMG needs to prepare her home as if the grandkids were coming over and have a friend give her a very honest assessment.
Thanks to those who responded about the iPad/blog issues.
Oh well...that sucks that we're stuck with it this way. Hopefully it WILL get switched back to normal ASAP. It's the main reason I've posted so infrequently lately. Such a huge pain!!
On another note: HAPPY FRIDAY! I ended up falling asleep last night, which is too bad because I was really looking forward to some Troll Time! Too bad I missed it. I was wanting to reply to each and every one with "awww....does somebody need a HOG?". Tee hee!
Maybe tonight!!!! : )
Lbelle, Good morning to you. Happy HOGS all day! (You typo still makes me smile.)
heather here
I had a boyfriend years ago who would always apologize when we had a fight. Even if I was "wrong."
After this happened a number of times, being from the "real world" of arguing/fighting/blaming, I asked him why.
He said simply: 'It saves time."
Just brilliant. After the apology, all that was left was civil conversation.
I learned so much from him, a man who barely graduated high school, never went to college and was bipolar.
Working Woman here
I have never smoked but have many smokers in my family. I have found that some people are truly addicted and some simply enjoy it but can give it up more easily. My Poppy was able to quit as soon as he had a heart attack at age 48. My great uncle, however, was unable to quit even after his second heart attack. He was just too addicted.
It sounds like LMG's husband has tried very hard in the past to quit, which is to be admired. I hope that someday he is finally able to.
As others have said, both sides have very valid points. It sounds like the husband takes caution to make sure he never smokes with or near the grandchildren, and cleans the air as much as possible. The children's mother still doesn't feel comfortable and worries for her children, which also is very fair.
There's only one thing for certain: you all clearly love and value each other, so any solution that would allow you to remain a huge part of each other's lives will work out the best in the long run.
Oh LMG, yes, I have three grown daughters and have had ugly situations with two of them. I have raised my girls to speak their mind - be careful what you wish for !!!!
Anyway regarding the smoking thing, this is your husband and you have loved and supported him for many years (smoking since age 14 is a long time!). Not sure why this is an issue all of a sudden with your daughter but regardless, apparently it is.
I have learned not to hold on to the hurt and anger. Because these are our children, we must keep speaking to them - allowing communication to end is the easy way out. Ask your daughter what you can do to remedy the situation without taking away your husband's right to do what he wants in his own home. Perhaps the visitations could take place at your daughter's house.
I am not a smoker and forgive me for this, but I would never let anyone dictate to me or my spouse how we should live our lives(smoking or otherwise).
My youngest daughter is getting married soon. We have explained to her what we will afford, which we feel is simple yet lovely. She wants a fabulous (expensive!) wedding - something we are not willing or able to give her. She actually had the nerve to say "well you go on vacation every February, how do you afford that???" That statement caused a huge rift in our family, I was appalled that she would even say something like that to me.
I pray that your daughter would not hold the boys hostage to her demands, and so I would continue to negitiate until a resolution can be made that all are happy with.
What does your husband have to say about all this?
Frustrated iPad users...
After the website loads, notice the address bar says www.realitytvkids.com/?m=1
Simply click in the address bar, change that 1 to a 0. You should be back to the web version permanently.
OR....
We could grovel and beg Admin to go to this bllog's dashboard, click on the template. Find the two images Live on Blog and Mobile. Under the Mobile image Admin should see a little gear for options on how she wants the blog to show on a mobile device....iPad, iPhone, etc. Clicking on "No, show desktop template on mobile device" then saving will fix. But that is all mobile devices, and maybe admin does not want to do this. Google/blogger may have switched to the mobile setting as default messing with us.
Option 1 fix really is easy that each user only has to do once. No more scrolling and missing sidebars.
But, admin would you consider the dashboard template mollie gear fix?
LMG, I am reading all the comments to you and thinking about your situation. Awareness.
The pest control technician just arrived. He is a monthly visitor to our home. Outside in warm weather, inside in cold months.
I asked him about his Christmas ... chat, chat.
I was immediately aware that he is a smoker. I never noticed before. His clothes and his breath both carried the tell-tale scent.
The idea to have a non-smoking friend visit your home and give you honest feed back is a great idea.
The only relative I have who smokes -- always goes outside her home (burr...these days).
I am sorry. I know your heart must be very heavy right now.
Realitytvkids.com (Administrator) said... 94
One final comment about jealousy. Just because you may truly be jealous doesn't mean your points aren't good ones and valid
*******
And it doesn't mitigate Kate's actions at all. Trolls don't get this very basic rule of debate.
Red herrings and straw men do not change our stance and what we've witnessed and read.
Which got me thinking about an incident that I'd love to hear her fans support: Kate's yelling at the kids at the bus stop. This video/audio was caught on tape. No CGI or dubbing over.
Kate sternly yelled at the kids to line up like soldiers. She was so PISSED at their child-like, post-school exuberance. She told them "you're lucky I'm here otherwise you'd be standing her in a parking lot alone".
How can anyone defend this?
Abandonment issues much?
Oh, and I'd like for one of her fans to ask Kate how many days and nights Kate left the kids in Alaska?
Again, who does this?
Test post.........trying to change iPad as per instructions. Hopefully after I post this, I'll still be in Web Version.
Fingers crossed!
I was immediately aware that he is a smoker. I never noticed before. His clothes and his breath both carried the tell-tale scent.
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My contractor (for kitchen) came to remove our range hood and his assistant arrived 5 minutes later. Immediately, I could smell smoke.
When you're a heavy smoker, everything reeks. It just does. The smell is in every fiber of every cloth, every strand of hair all over your body, and it oozes through pores.
Story- last month, I had my brother and a few of his friend come to stay for a night at my house to be near the stadium for a football game that they traveled here to see. One friend was a heavy smoker and he smoked outside and REEKED when he re-entered my house.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone so addicted. Never.
This guy had to have a smoke so bad, that when they were driving down here on the Beltway, they hit a backup. Smoker thinks this is a good opportunity to grab a smoke and gets out of the car to smoke. Traffic starts to move and yep, he was stranded. The driver had to pull over almost a mile down the highway (where it was finally safe-ish) and wait for him to catch up.
Smoker slept on my sectional sofa and I had to wash every. single. thing he touched and Febreeze my sofa out the ying yang.
Addiction is powerful.
Kiwi.....103
Nope. Didn't work. : (
After I posted, from Web version, the page refreshed back to page #1 in the sucky format. DRATS!!!
I do thank you very, very much for trying to help though. Maybe Admin can take care of it on her end???
LMG, I try to always find something to be thankful for in every situation, even the sad or disappointing ones. When I can find that it sometimes turns everything around. And sometimes I have to look very hard. Everything will be all right. What a support system we all have here.
Now, about those twistd sheets....
Hogs to everyone!
Are you freaking kidding me? To whoever it was that said to LMG 'it's a no brainer', you are the most insensitive and mean spirited person on here. LMG is caught, or maybe trapped is a better word, between a rock and a hard place in this situation. So where is this a no brainer for her? She loves her husband. Period. So, she should kick him out of their home if he doesn't stop smoking? She loves her daughter. Period. So, should she just say so long girl, see you later. She loves her grandsons. Period. So what, she should just give up on seeing them again? I have nothing but compassion for her and her husband. Up until now, the kids have come to their home and they have gone to the kids home with no problem. And then suddenly, they can't even see each other until the daughters demands are met? Impossible situation for all concerned. On the other hand, her daughter is concerned for her children and although I think her way of dealing with it is wrong for everyone, it's not my place to make any decisions. The children aren't going to suffer from a few days at Grandma's house. What they will suffer from is being separated from their loving grandparents. All of a sudden they are just absent from their lives. So cruel and unnecessary.
I have family members who were smokers and eventually quit and they say it was the hardest thing they ever did and to this day they miss it. Several of these people kicked alcohol and hard drugs but still say the cigarettes were the hardest. My heart breaks for LMG's husband. I'm sure he wants to quit. He is well aware of the consequences of smoking. It's not as simple as 'just do it'. And for sure, he doesn't want to be separated from his grandsons, his wife or his daughter. What an awful situation.
LMG, I sincerely love the person you are that I have met here and I pray you all will find a solution together and will come out on the other side of this whole and loving. My heart aches for you to be in the middle of this. Take care of yourself, my friend. And make NO MISTAKE, this is not a 'no brainer'. This is real life with multiple people involved. My very best wishes for you and your loved ones!
Test, test, test.
Maybe when Admin gets back from Chicago she'll fix the blog so that we iPad users see the web version and not the mobile version. I tried what Kiwi suggested but I'm still having the same issues that Lbelle is having. I hate to go on the "real" computer since I've got the iPad.
Tucker's Mom -- Or KK telling Cara, in the NYC episode, that she'd leave her with strangers if she didn't "happy up"(my words). Way to make a child feel secure!
LMG -- I've been giving your situation a little more thought. If this issue isn't one that has been festering for a while and just came to a head, I have to wonder if something just happened to trigger it. Maybe with one of your daughter's patients? Some remark the boys made? Didn't the boys spend a week or two with you and your husband this past summer? I think you need to talk with your daughter and ask her point blank why this has suddenly become an issue? What has changed since the boys' visit this past summer? When you find out what's at the bottom of this, then you might see a resolution.
On the subject of third -hand smoke, I can definitely say that it can be an issue. I'm a severe asthmatic and cigarette smoke is a trigger for me. I know enough to stay away from places where people are smoking, even outdoors (thankfully, this is much easier these days). However, I've had severe asthma attacks just being in a room where someone has smoked in the past. Severe enough to require hospitalization and in one case, a ventilator for 2 days. If there is enough residue to trigger an attack, then there's something there that anyone is exposed to. It may not cause immediate symptoms in a non-sensitive person, but the cumulative effects could be serious.
Anyone want to discuss New Years resolutions?
Lbelle, you didn't miss anything last night. All was quiet on the sheeple front. Minimal/no baaaaing. Hope it stays quiet tonight. Although it can occasionally be entertaining to see them tie themselves up in knots, I find them annoying after a while.
She told them "you're lucky I'm here otherwise you'd be standing her in a parking lot alone".
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She threatened them with this before and it was caught on film. In NYC she said that she'd leave them with strangers. What a horrible, horrible thing for any parent to say. You just don't do that.
Anyone want to discuss New Years resolutions?
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I love this idea!
One area I'd like to improve is my diet, specifically eating more vegetarian meals. I'd like to get "religious" about designating 2 days a week to no animal-sourced protein/meatless meals.
Going hand-in-hand with that, i'd like to source more of my meats locally, for my health and to combat large agriculture and all it's deleterious effects.
I'm not and don't want to be a "locavore", but I'd like to see more of the above in 2013.
With a Costco membership, it's a challenge! Even so, I'm already at the farmers markets at least once weekly for produce and some meat etc.
Tucker's Mom said... 115
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And to expand on that, I want to challenge myself to learn more cooking techniques such as sauces, breads and pastry. I'd like to learn to cook fish really, really good. I'd like to delve into my cookbooks 2-3 times a month and go outside of my comfort zone and try new recipes and new cuisines.
Working Woman here
Readerlady,
Good idea! I love New Years resolutions.
When I was a bit younger, I used to always make some kind of resolution for the new year that was, in hindsight, shallow: for example, to get a boyfriend or to lose 15 lbs.
Now that I'm older and striving for happiness and it's different. I would still love to meet that special someone, but a new year can be about starting anew from lessons you have learned and perhaps pursuing something intangible.
I have two resolutions for 2013: to continue in my recovery from an eating issue and get healthy physically and mentally, and to love myself as genuinely and conditionally as I love my family and friends. Self-love is often necessary in order to have a loving relationship with someone else.
Looking forward to hearing other people's 2013 resolutions :)
Too bad I missed it. I was wanting to reply to each and every one with "awww....does somebody need a HOG?". Tee hee!
Maybe tonight!!!! : )
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Everyone needs a HOG. What we don't need, not even occasionally, is a SHEEP!
Working Woman
Unconditionally I meant!
I'm sorry to say, but just using febreeze and smoking outside will not help. You can't get rid of the danger os second hand smoke easily. It is even on your husband's clothes and skin. I'm a non-smoker and always have been. However, I have horrible lung problems, probably have the lungs of an 80 year old and I'm in my 40's. I use an inhaler all the time. I was exposed to terrible second hand smoke for a very long time and wouldn't be surprised if I end up with lung cancer. Her concerns are real. You'll have to go see the grandkids on neutral territory, I'm afraid.
If I change the mobile settings does that mean no one will be able to see a mobile version on devices if that is what they'd prefer?
I've been reading the posts regarding the smoking situation. It sounds like all of those involved need to sit down and have a good old-fashioned heart-to-heart talk. There may be more to this than just meets the eye.
If her husband quits smoking (no easy feat), good for him. But if it's true, as some have pointed out, that these "carcinogens," dust particles, or what have you, remain in the house for an indefinite period of time (how long might that be?), then what should LMG do? Does she call in a hazmat team to fumigate? Not to be smart here, but it's a legitimate question. Is just quitting smoking enough, or should all carpets be replaced or professionally cleaned, as well as the drapes, furniture, walls scrubbed down, clothing discarded, etc.? What is required to make the home child-friendly again, free of possible tobacco contamination?
OT: Does anyone know if GWOP has gone out of business? There have been no new comments for eight days.
Guess Kate is on her own, no tweets that I can see.Or did she get her much-needed winter vacation?
Working Woman
Blowing in the Wind, I don't know for sure about GWOP, I was under the impression that it was dormant over there, but not officially shut down.
readerlady said... 113
"LMG -- I've been giving your situation a little more thought. If this issue isn't one that has been festering for a while and just came to a head, I have to wonder if something just happened to trigger it. Maybe with one of your daughter's patients? Some remark the boys made? Didn't the boys spend a week or two with you and your husband this past summer?"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Readerlady, I though the same thing. I also remembered LMG's grandsons had visited over the summer. I wondered if it was because she was experiencing the same situation with second hand smoke in the summer as opposed to in the winter as I did.
My parents both smoked while I was growing up. When I left home and got away from the smoke, being exposed to it again was unbearable. I put up with it as best I could, until I had my first DS.
My parents lived 90 mins away when I had my 1st baby. Visiting them in the summer was no biggie, they had a pool and everyone was outside most of the day. Also, they had no central air in their vintage home, just window units in bedrooms. The windows were always open and there was a lovely cross breeze. The second hand smoke issue was not a problem as the house was well aired out. Wintertime was another story.
Even with my parents going outside to smoke while we were there, their house reeked and our suitcases would reek even worse when we got home. I knew that quitting was not an option for them so I didn't even go there. I told Mom we would not be able to visit in the winter months but to please come to our house. That's how we did it until a few years later when my Dad's job tranferred him back here.
A few months after they moved back, my Dad had a heart attack. The surgeon came in and gave my Dad a stern lecture about how he needed to quit smoking, period. After he left, the nurse in the room told my mom to try baby steps. She said that if they would try smoking outside exclusively, they'd find they would smoke less. Making it easier to taper down to not at all. When my Mom shared how the smoky house was a problem for me, the nurse said "well there's your incentive!"
They both smoked outside only, and they found they were much happier. They did smoke less, saved some money and felt a little better. They both ended up quitting altogether in the last few years.
LMG, my heart just broke for you when I read your story, I've been there. I know how much you love your grandsons and how torn you must feel. Find out what your DD's key issues are and then find openings for compromise. It does seem like she may have been stewing over this for a while, then her mama lion roared. Bless you all as you go throught this and just know that it will all work out :)
zzzzzzzzz
@SuzeW718 @Kateplusmy8 Strange she posted no Xmas pics of kids. Wonder if she's trying to sell them.
Sell the kids? This one made me chuckle, just like the "HOGS" comment!
LMG---so sorry for your troubles. This must be so hard for you.
My best advice would be, if it's possible, to meet your daughter someplace neutral, just the two of you, and for you to just listen. Ask the questions, but don't defend anyone, you or or your husband.
Just listen.
To best solve this problem, you need to find out two things: 1- why the sudden change. (Or maybe it wasn't sudden, but just built up and she was hesitant to say anything. If so, you need to know that, too.)
2- what will it take for her allow the boys in your home again? People here have suggested quite a few things...maybe some of those will meet her needs, maybe none of them will.
But by listening you will hopefully hear what it is what she wants.
I'm a little puzzled by her stance at the moment, in that it seems that you have a good relationship with her. So why is there what appears to be a confrontational stance now?
Her husband doesn't like it? Something the boys learned in school? Something someone else said? Like her in-laws? Or maybe she just witnessed a death due to smoking at her work and it was traumatic for her?
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. It sounds like it's going to be a tough nut to crack.
I have to say that if it hasn't been a problem before now, why now? What changed her thinking?
I have to say that knowing what I know now about smoking I wouldn't let my kids be in a house where there is smoking, not for more than a few hours anyway, and not that often either. And not at all if it wasn't the grandparent.
I don't know the answer. Maybe something else is bothering her?
Ponder it. The answer will come, even if it takes a while. And there will be many tears in the interim. Hopefully everyone can be honest about their needs and something can be worked out.
Wishing you wisdom as you make this tough journey.
LMG,
I take you daughter's side 100%. Your home most likely smells awful. Making cig smoke is even a more hideous smell. I would NOT support my husband if he chose to expose me to second hand smoke as he does you. That is incredibly selfish. I don't care whose home it is, you have enabled it, she is tired of it. She has every right to say no more, without any reason. Either he smokes outside, which would be healthier for you, or you have to see gs on her terms.
Twitter silence for Kate= she's taking her own "winter break". Probably got hair fried in NYC before she jets off somewhere bikini-ish.
I find in interesting that Kate tweeted not one single photo of anything remotely Christmas-y in her home, from the half-lit tree, to decorations, to kids etc.
Oh, she did trot out one old pic of Shoka in the basement. When I take holiday dog pics, they're posed in front of the tree, maybe have a Santa suit on etc.
I think her lying has turned the pathological bend.
LMG,
I read your post and my heart broke. I know how much you love your grandsons. The glee and joy with which you talk about their upcoming trips, the sweet grandma-bragging that shows so much love. YOur posts always made me smile! Sweetie, my heart just breaks for you - I am sending you many, many "hogs".
I debated whether to answer here. I have a definite opinion and it's based on my mom being a lifelong smoker. It's important to realize that my opinion is only mine, and I would never impose it on anyone else.
I think the responses you've gotten here have been so caring and well thought out. It shows what a good crew we have here. I understand your posting here to us 'virtual friends'... it's a safe way to gather support which you need badly, and some objective ideas about how to deal with/improve/make better the situation.
I don't have any answer for you. I had the exact same issues with my mom when our son was a young child. They lived 900 miles away. We visited once a year for a week. It was the best we could do with our work schedules. During those visits both my parents would smoke inside. It was their home, after all. Mom would wave her hand and say something like 'oh, you're overreacting'. I thought her uncaring, inflexible and rude.
We agreed to let our DS fly down to visit them one summer when he was 6. It was a very exciting adventure for all of them. He'd been there 5 days and came down with a 'cold'. He flew home the next day and we took him directly to the pediatrician's office. Long story short, he ended up in hospital on oxygen and steroids for 3 days due to sinus inflammation/asthma. Doc said it was directly attributable to spending 5 days with indoor 3 pack a day smokers.
I didn't mention anything to mother for two weeks because I was so upset. They had promised to only smoke outside. When I told her, and I was VERY CALM and non-judgemental, she blew it off by saying the docs were overreacting.
That was the last trip our DS ever took to visit them alone at their home. Mom was furious. We continued our family visits but were very careful to insist they smoke outdoors while we were there. Once we even stayed in a motel 1 mile from their house. Oh, they were mad at us.
I share this only because it's a true story and one that still resonates with me, 30 years later. Smoking is such a hot-button issue with so many people.
Did it tear our family apart? Sort of. Her last years were unbearably painful to witness. I had such anger for the tobacco industry, for the social customs of the day back when mom was a young adult and smoking was fashionable. It was then that her lifelong addiction began.
She has been gone now 10 years. Her death was prolonged and agonizing, for her and me. I look back with the compassion that time provides and wish things could have been different. But I have no idea what I could have done differently, other that protecting my child. It was a horrible choice to make.
I think you are going through that now. You clearly love all your family members. Your daughter is protecting her children. The advice/comments made by folks here are all good ones. Perhaps your answer can be found within them.
I understand how difficult this is for you, my friend. Life gives us many choices. Choosing one can be a trial sometimes. I think you are wise enough to find a way, some way, a right way for you and your family.
You will be in my meditations. You are such a caring person. Allow yourself a pat on the back for all you do. Be glad you are the kind of person who seeks a resolution instead of letting anger get in the way. Take some time to acquire distance from the problem. It may allow you and your daughter to see a resolution.
Time will provide a solution.
Again, many 'hogs' to you. If you were here, I'd offer you a double rumspringa in a fancy glass with a paper umbrella :-)
We are here for you.
Ah, Permanent Name. Just what I was thinking. So well said. My heart is heavy for both LMG and her daughter. They must both be struggling for the answer.
A mother in my family smokes, unfortunately. Silver lining = only outside.
One of their teachers took it upon herself to tell the little kids that their mother was going to die young if she kept smoking. Which, technically, is probably true. (But maybe not, either. Their great-grandmother smoked 3 packs/day until she was 96.)
But it's not the teacher's story to tell. And children, being children, thought the teacher meant that day. They called me in a panic. How to explain all this to little kids?
I just said that smoking is not a good thing, and it would be better if their mom didn't smoke, but she also wasn't going to die today from smoking. And if she ever did die, from smoking or some other reason, that their dad or I would always be there to take care of them.
I was sooo angry with the teacher. Who is she to frighten little kids like that? If she had a problem with the mom, she should have taken it up with the mom, not the kids.
If I may be so bold as to share a technique, LMG... It has helped me greatly since I've been studying Buddhist teaching for the past several years, and it works so well. It's universal application goes beyond any one single belief system.
Recognize there is an issue/problem/opportunity for change. Define it, even write it down if that helps you.
Set the issue/problem aside for a time. Set a time in the future that you will revisit the issue. For example, tell yourself that you will revisit the issue February 1st. Until then, let it simmer on the high shelf in the back of your mind. This will give it time to evolve into it's most basic form, and time for hard feelings to fall away.
During this shelf time, write letters to your grandkids. Send them a book, a funny story, a leaf you found on a walk. Act as if all is normal. Acting normal will make it normal.
On February 1st, pull down your issue and sit down with a clear peaceful mind to ponder the issue. Diagram it out if that helps. Know that there IS a solution. Make it an adventurous journey to discover the solution.
Work from a place of harmony and peace. Accept that there will be work to do to get there. Being willing to do the work makes it easier.
You are a kind, compassionate person. Your love for your family will make the work and journey easier. You will find a solution.
If anger or frustration pops up, send them away. They will get in the way of finding your solution.
You can do this. You are fortunate to have found yourself in the role of fixer. That's what we moms are. There is a solution. It just has to be found and negotiated.
Some of you, including LMG, may think this is hokey-new-age-craptalk... that's ok. My feelings won't be hurt. BUT, this thinking has worked for me so many times with big and small opportunities. This thinking has brought me such peace.
Life is short. We need to make the best of every day.
LOL - end of my "new age craptalk" (DH calls it that, although he does so lovingly.... or so he says)... ha ha.
Apologies to all if this suggestion is too presumptuous.
Mel,
Geez, that teacher was definitely out of line.
Poor kids.... glad you were there to reassure them.
heather here
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Are you freaking kidding me? To whoever it was that said to LMG 'it's a no brainer', you are the most insensitive and mean spirited person on here. LMG is caught, or maybe trapped is a better word, between a rock and a hard place in this situation. So where is this a no brainer for her? She loves her husband. Period. So, she should kick him out of their home if he doesn't stop smoking? She loves her daughter. Period. So, should she just say so long girl, see you later. She loves her grandsons. Period. So what, she should just give up on seeing them again? I
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Wow. No where did I mention getting rid of her husband, daughter or grandsons. Way to jump to extremes, BTW.
Arguing is futile. With anyone involved.
It's a no brainer in that if she wants to see her grandsons she needs to come up with a PLAN to do so.
She is only "caught" if she believes there is no solution. Which, of course there is.
Calm down.
LMG, didn't you and your husband visit your daughter recently? I'm wondering if that visit was what triggered her 'sudden' ultimatum? So many have talked about the way even being around a smoker leaves the smell on their clothes, in their car, and so on.
Maybe after your visit to their non-smoking home, they could still smell the smoke in their house, and your daughter realized what the boys absorbed while visiting you at your home?
My resolutions:
Not to put myself last in the family and not to bear responsibility ( guilt) when my kids(young adults) screw up or don't do something they should- they're great kids, just saying it's time they are on their 'own' although they live at home.
Spend time on myself- this includes drs appts, keeping up with hair appts, always fit exercise in, buy an occasional treat- well, I do, I just mean I tend to think of the family when grocery shopping for example, and realize I bought nothing I really like to eat.
Don't mean to sound like a martyr- just want someone I like 'there' when the inevitable empty nesting begins!
HOGS to all! (that one will never be lived down, hehe)
Are we STILL talking about LMG's family smoking problem? Yes, I know I can scroll but come on now. Enough already.
There are many smells in peoples homes dependant upon what they do for a living (farm, factory, cat or dog breeders, homes with ferrets or hamsters, etc.) and it also depends on what they cook, like fish or spice usage. Some people have body odors or feet odor issues and some just don't have a clean home. Pets can cause odors in homes, like cat litter boxes not cleaned enough or dogs left unbathed.
The last thing LMG needs is these long drawn out posts on how bad the smoking odor has affected them in their own life experiences...like visiting relatives and how they bring the odor home in their suitcases. LMAO
This is a free country and we only get one turn in each of our lifetimes, so to get that nitpicky about others smoking habits and smells is extremely petty and mean as well. I respect others no matter what their houses smell like and visit them too because I love my family and my friends and don't judge them.
jen said... 139
''Are we STILL talking about LMG's family smoking problem? Yes, I know I can scroll but come on now. Enough already.''
~~~~~~~~
Since you are aware that you can scroll, I suggest you do that very thing!!
Purple Skies said... 140
There are many smells in peoples homes dependant upon what they do for a living (farm, factory, cat or dog breeders, homes with ferrets or hamsters, etc.) and it also depends on what they cook, like fish or spice usage. Some people have body odors or feet odor issues and some just don't have a clean home. Pets can cause odors in homes, like cat litter boxes not cleaned enough or dogs left unbathed.
The last thing LMG needs is these long drawn out posts on how bad the smoking odor has affected them in their own life experiences...like visiting relatives and how they bring the odor home in their suitcases. LMAO
This is a free country and we only get one turn in each of our lifetimes, so to get that nitpicky about others smoking habits and smells is extremely petty and mean as well. I respect others no matter what their houses smell like and visit them too because I love my family and my friends and don't judge them.
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You're seriously comparing smoke to the smell of spice usage? Small difference: one endangers people and the other does not.
Yes, smoking is an addiction, but it is one that can be overcome. It is not mean and nitpicky to be upset about smoking. Why should the "right" to smoke trump the right for others' to breathe clean air?
Is it safe to assume that you have never watched a loved one die a slow and brutal death from emphysema and lung cancer? Maybe you would be less cavalier about smoking if you'd had that wonderful experience.
LMG's husband has every right to smoke in his home and his daughter has every right to choose not to bring her children into that environment. Funny how those "rights" work both ways.
Purple Skies said... 140
''The last thing LMG needs is these long drawn out posts on how bad the smoking odor has affected them in their own life experiences...like visiting relatives and how they bring the odor home in their suitcases.''
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I disagree. It seems apparent that LMG and her husband were not aware of the way smoke clings to everything, since she lives in the house with a smoker. The personal stories from caring posters are letting LMG know that smoke residue isn't something that her daughter is overreacting to. The more information that LMG has, the better it will be to find some sort of compromise with her daughter.
Remona Blue said... 141
jen said... 139
''Are we STILL talking about LMG's family smoking problem? Yes, I know I can scroll but come on now. Enough already.''
~~~~~~~~
Since you are aware that you can scroll, I suggest you do that very thing!!
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No need to be snotty, Remona, although that is your rep. My comment was respectful and was pointing out that this topic has been picked to death. There's nothing more to say. And yes, I said I was aware I could scroll and have been doing so.
I hate to see this blog hijacked by the usual clique. There are so many intelligent women and maybe men who post here. Surely there's another topic, how about getting back to Kate? After all, it's what the blog is supposed to be about.
To #142 = And it's all about respecting and loving our family and friends and not judging them. Again, I believe it is mean and nitpicky to chose not to visit someone because of this issue at hand. We are in charge of our OWN domains/homes and what goes on there is up to us...but we don't have the right to tell others what to do in their homes. As far as chosing not to visit a loved one because of their smoking habits...well to each their own, but it is not something I would ever do to another person. It is a visit...you are not moving in long term.
And no, I was not comparing health risks by mentioning spice usuage or any of the other odor factors listed in my prior post, but was instead solely discussing odors in homes....period. Seemed clear to me.
The more information that LMG has, the better it will be to find some sort of compromise with her daughter.
******
I agree. The responses have been overwhelmingly supporting and not judgmental, despite some very personal and painful experiences.
I hope it helps and things get resolved.
The blog has not been "hijacked". Really I'm the only one who should be telling people to move on but you're always welcome to email me if you think it's appropriate for me to request that.
The best solution to such a thing is to suggest something else to discuss instead if trying it tell people not to discuss something you don't like.
First of all, LMG (and others who were complimentary), thank you for your kind words about my post re jealousy yesterday.
As to smoking and a parent's concern over health hazards. This is definitely a tough subject, and obviously a sore one for you and your daughter right now. I think your daughter is trying to be the best parent possible for her sons, and so she's decided that she will not knowingly expose them to cigarette smoke or any of its residue. It might be that the way she presented her decision was not the most diplomatic, but then again -- it's hard to say "We won't come to your house anymore as long as smoking continues" in a nice way.
I think that as long as your husband continues to smoke, that simply means that you will need to meet up with your daughter and grandsons at a neutral location. And that's that. No harm, no foul. Tell her of course you understand completely and will be very happy to see your grandchildren when you come to visit her home, etc.
Smoking is not illegal for adults, and it's your husband's choice to smoke or not. Your daughter has made her own choice. Neither one is wrong. But my guess is your daughter might be feeling that if your husband loved his grandkids enough, he'd quit smoking for them. That's probably where the tenderness of this subject comes from. And maybe your husband is thinking that if his daughter loved him enough, she'd understand that he feels unable to quit. If they both can set those emotions aside, and not see this as one side wins/the other loses -- then hopefully an amicable arrangement will work itself out. It's a tough one to be sure.
I hate to see this blog hijacked by the usual clique. There are so many intelligent women and maybe men who post here. Surely there's another topic, how about getting back to Kate? After all, it's what the blog is supposed to be about.
******
By all means, post what your heart desires!! We've never stuck to one theme in any given thread, so what's holding you back?
Have at it!!!!
What's on YOUR mind?
And snotty...clique? C'mon... don't be like that. We're better than name calling.
I'll tune in later when I hope harmony has been restored to you all.
To LoveMyGrandsons------
This coming Jan 19 will be my 25-year anniversary of being smoke-free. I had tried everything, including hypnosis. I was a 2-pack a day smoker.
I finally tried a program called Clean Break, which did the trick. Clean Break originated here in the Twin Cities. I see that they now offer the program online, and for a very reasonable fee.
Just google cleanbreak.com
Wishing your hubby and you the best,
Pants
I never say never with one exception, smoking. After smoking heavily for many years I finally decided I had to quit. It was the most difficult thing I ever did, the addiction almost beat me, but I quit for good in 1977. I know this much about myself, if I had ONE cigarette, I would be hooked again, no doubt about it. That is the definition of addiction. For addicts, it is ALL or nothing, period.
Smokers are not stupid, they know all of the negative affects of smoking, from the smell to the health issues, it's bad. But qitting is difficult, if not impossible for some. You have to want to quit, then suffer through the struggle of living without the cravings, it is brutal.
LMG has had a lot of input, but if her DH is unwilling or unable to quit then the only solution is compromise that rids their home of the smell. The only person who can take the "smell" test is LMG's daughter, and that will take time, effort and a big change (i.e. smoking outdoors).
We have had to stop staying at my brother and SIL's house because of my sensitivity to the smell of cigarette smoke. It is hard to tell your family that everything smells, from the towels in the guest bathroom to the sheets in the guest bedroom, especially when they are house-proud and neat-freaks. They have no interest in quitting, smoke in their basement when we visit, but the smell has permeated every nook and cranny of their beautiful home.
For those who are quick to judge, try to understand this is a complex and difficult issue, as any addiction is. I relate to Lbelle's story, she thought she could smoke on vacation then go back to being a non-smoker. Even though she had quit for a year, she was right back in the cycle of smoking again, that is the power of addiction.
If quitting is not on the table, then compromise/change will come so all sides can be happy.
Purple Skies said... 145
To #142 = And it's all about respecting and loving our family and friends and not judging them.
***********
You have no problem judging LMG's daughter for making a choice that she thinks is in the best interest of her children, so your non-judgmental approach is quite selective.
******************************
And no, I was not comparing health risks by mentioning spice usuage or any of the other odor factors listed in my prior post, but was instead solely discussing odors in homes....period. Seemed clear to me.
**************************************
I don't know if you are truly ignorant or willfully obtuse. If you can smell smoke you are breathing in the unhealthy particles. It isn't just about it being an unpleasant odor.
Ramona #143 - I don't see it that way at all. It may be torturous for her to read these drawn out smoking aversion experiences, when common sense would dictate she likely is already aware of the issues at hand. I know she can chose to skip those posts...and I also know people have the right to post their opinions, as I am doing here.
Thanks, Admin. I don't object to the smoking topic, it's just that it's become very, very long-winded. Of course, that's my opinion only. I know you feel there's no clique here, but I beg to differ, respectfully of course :) When a newcomer sees the same names and the same topic and similar comments over and over, it's hard to get the courage to jump in and discuss what the blog is about - the Gosselins. I personally feel off topic is fine and understand that there's little going on with Kate, but this latest off topic landslide feels over the top.
And with that, I'll disappear and come back when the topic changes.
PN in Blue - I smiled at your "hokey new-age crap" self-deprecating humor. But I think your advice is very sound. Any problem, especially a thorny one, often presents some sensible solutions if we allow a little time to pass, emotions to cool, and re-visit the issue.
One thing I keep in mind when dealing with family issues is that my foremost desire is harmony within my family. I see other families get into nasty squabbles, brother fighting brother, child no longer speaking to a parent, etc., and would never want the same within my own family. We are vastly different - some with political or spiritual beliefs that I would define as conservative or right-wing, with others being very much on the other side of the spectrum. But we are family first and foremost.
Knowing LMG from this blog, I am certain she will find a solution that works for all concerned.
I am enjoying the different perspectives on smoking here, the advice and personal stories. LMG,, thanks for sharing something so personal, hope something here helps.
I have sincerely appreciated the advice here about dogs with seizures. No seizures at my house today, fortunately!
I like to hear about movies people have seen. We are finally going to see Lincoln this evening.
Anyone want to discuss something else, just post!
Permanent Name in Blue said...
Set the issue/problem aside for a time. Set a time in the future that you will revisit the issue. For example, tell yourself that you will revisit the issue February 1st. Until then, let it simmer on the high shelf in the back of your mind. This will give it time to evolve into it's most basic form, and time for hard feelings to fall away.
____________________________________________
I like your approach Blue (may I call you Blue)? Let it evolve...and I think the approach works for the posters here as well. I'm sure LMG has a lot of information from everyone to have some things to chew on for a while.
If there's one issue that causes more heated debate than politics, it's the smoking issue. We don't debate politics here. (See where I'm going with this?)
Anyway...I guess Kate's twitter silence means either the kids are off with Jon, or she's off somewhere having more personal ME time. Quite the contrast from the manic Christmas Day tweeting. She seriously needs mental help.
To UNAPOLOGETICALLY #152: I am neither obtuse or ignorant in my statements. My focus is and has been about ODORS. My comments were posted after reading numerous postings from others on smoking ODORS (after they visited a loved ones/smokers home). You are discussing something else.
Permanent Name, that technique of dealing with problems is very helpful. I think it could be applied to many situations. The DH does computer techie stuff, and when he is dealing with a tough tech problem and can't figure it out, he drops it for a few hours or days. Usually when he isn't thinking about the problem, that's when the solution will come to him.
Buddhist philosophy is fascinating, I like reading your insights.
Jenni said... 80
. . . young children are particularly vulnerable, because they can ingest tobacco residue by putting their hands in their mouths after touching contaminated surfaces.
http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2010/02/04/0912820107.full.pdf+html?sid=a9fa8602-2b11-433d-a6cd-173e01d3e409
pnas is The Proceedings Of The National Academy Of The Sciences of the USA.
====
Jenni - thanks for the link. I would have replied or responded sooner but I had to take a crash course in environmental chemistry before I could decipher what the article was trying to say. (Actually I went to bed, but I tried, I really did, to read the pnas article you linked) I admit I don't understand it entirely but I did get to part where Dr. Destaillats explained how he performed his research (experiments were performed by using a glass tubular-flow reactor
Upstream, “zero” grade air was humidified to 45% relative humidity by passage through an impinger before entering the reactor containing two identical cellulose substrates. HONO was generated continuously, by following the method described by Taira and Kanda (44). a Teflon reaction vessel, Two syringe pumps delivered H2SO4 (0.022 M) and NaNO2 (0.001 M) into where the evolved HONO vapor was entrained in the air flow to the reactor. Downstream of the reactor, the flow could be split into three streams to determine (a) HONO∕NO∕NO2 by using a NOx analyzer (b) HONO by ion chromatography, and (c) volatile products.
WTF? Really? Jenni? Did YOU understand that?
I think basically what they did was blow smoke from tobacco onto a sheet of plastic which had been sprayed with nitrous acid and took measurements from that. I don't know how closely that resembles the inside of a home but I'll wager it's not identical.
I won't argue smoking is bad and unhealthy and the residue it leaves behind is stinky. I will argue that you'd have to have a kid lick a lot floors and furniture to get the amount of poison this experiment would have you believe will cause some horrible disease. It's like Winter Wonderland said about the case of a rat ingesting 3,000 cans of artificially-sweetened soda a day for six years and then finding that a tumor has developed?
That said, I'll move on. I just hope LMG finds a way to work this out with her family.
jen said... 144
Remona Blue said... 141
jen said... 139
''Are we STILL talking about LMG's family smoking problem? Yes, I know I can scroll but come on now. Enough already.''
~~~~~~~~
Since you are aware that you can scroll, I suggest you do that very thing!!
------------
No need to be snotty, Remona, although that is your rep. My comment was respectful and was pointing out that this topic has been picked to death. There's nothing more to say. And yes, I said I was aware I could scroll and have been doing so.
I hate to see this blog hijacked by the usual clique. There are so many intelligent women and maybe men who post here. Surely there's another topic, how about getting back to Kate? After all, it's what the blog is supposed to be about.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Ah Jen,
Remona does not have a 'rep' for being snotty, dear. When you posted that you knew you could scroll on by, you asked for a reply that said something like 'then scroll on by'. That one's on you...
And while I don't think there is an actual 'clique' here, I do think there is a group of really nice women who respond to a favorite poster (LMG) when she is having troubles and wants advice.
I'd call that ANYTHING but hijacking. I'd call that a big group hog with tons of advice and support attached.
I'm afraid the snot belongs to you on this one, Jen.
Of course, that is just my personal humble opinion....
And as for getting back to discussing kart... geez, do we have to? she's such a downer-debby topic (no offense to Debbies!) I love it when we can escape from her in discussions for awhile. Such a breath of fresh air to not be discussing the child-abusing, animal-abusing, greedy, narcissistic has been.
Again, just my opinion. Feel free to disagree and scroll........
Are we all experiencing some Christmas cheer withdrawal? low blood pressure? it's too soon for the Christmas bills to have arrived, LOL.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas holiday.
Here's wishing everyone a prosperous, healthy and successful new year.
:)
oopsie, meant low blood SUGAR, but the other works, too!!!
Auntie Ann,
Jenni - thanks for the link. I would have replied or responded sooner but I had to take a crash course in environmental chemistry before I could decipher what the article was trying to say. (Actually I went to bed, but I tried, I really did, to read the pnas article you linked)
*********************
Laughed out loud at the going to bed remark!!!! I love your humor :-)
Speaking of "downer Debbies", we hired a new person in accounting a few weeks ago, named Debbie. Wow. She's something.
In 3 weeks she's told off: the accounting manager, the tax accountant, the staff acccountant, the hr admin, the guy from the shop, and the lady from ADP.
She told me yesterday that her last job was such a hostile work environment that she couldn't take it any longer. Hmmm....
How to nicely say, "It might be you"?
Probably I won't way anything. She didn't seem to be in a place where she would "hear" what I would be saying. And she's old enough (50 or so) that people have probably been telling her stuff for a while now.
I feel bad, cuz she's probably going to be let go. She has no sense of hierarchy, nor seems to care. Just as likely to go off on the president as the admin lady. Loose cannon.
She reminds me a lot of Kate on the RV trip.
Sigh.
If this blog were strictly for talking about Kate, I'm not sure it would still be going strong.
One of my favorite things about this website is that we can pretty much discuss anything - books, movies, holiday plans, families, etc. This includes lending each other support and comfort when it is needed. :)
Wishing you ladies a relaxing, reflective weekend and a happy, healthy, successful New Year!
OK MEL,
You get the second laugh out loud for your post about the new gal.
Yep, Ms. Manners was sitting on your shoulder when you said "Wow. She's something." Ms. Manners is proud of your restraint...
Whatever you do, avoid finding a way to tell her 'it might be you'. Sounds like you'd be lucky to get away with your life!
I'd be curious to know how many jobs she's had in the past few years.
You hear about that scammer who collected money by saying that was the Aunt of one of the shooting-vicims from the horrible schoolshooting in Newtown. Somehow I instantly had to think of that lady emailing Khate with her story of her nephew/ niece and couldnt keep her story straight!
chefsummer said... 50
I guess life goes on, in spite of the horror mother, Merry Christmas and all that happy HORSE shit.
And here I sit in NH and KG has now once again been able to get away with "husband assansination?
NewHampshire said... 170
''And here I sit in NH and KG has now once again been able to get away with "husband assansination?''
~~~~~~~~
KK did not assassinate Jon. He is still alive. She did throw Jon under yet another bus, insinuating that the children didn't want to be with Jon on Christmas, exposing once again that she is a parental alienator.
Jenni - thanks for the link. I would have replied or responded sooner but I had to take a crash course in environmental chemistry before I could decipher what the article was trying to say. (Actually I went to bed, but I tried, I really did, to read the pnas article you linked)
Your welcome. I simply posted the link to the source of what I copied and pasted. If you weren't able to understand the 2 short paragraphs I copied and pasted, well, there's not much else I can tell you.
Common sense alone tells you that smokey air circulates. Everywhere.
Why would you need to understand how a test was done? Here's an experiment you can do: light a cigarette, inhale and blow. Watch where the smoke goes.
If the original poster doesn't want to read all these responses, then she shouldn't have asked the question. Pretty simple.
Why is everything here made into something so very complicated?
Jen start a topic yourself. It's not fair to expect others to do it then complain they are cliquey. As for the clique I've seen several names here today alone who haven't popped in much and I haven't seen a single person here not welcoming them. Everyone is just talking. Complaining about cliques gets old when you don't even try to contribute.
Permanent Name in Blue said... 162
''.......Ah Jen, Remona does not have a 'rep' for being snotty, dear. When you posted that you knew you could scroll on by, you asked for a reply that said something like 'then scroll on by'. That one's on you...''
~~~~~~~~
PNiB........I think that you and I will agree that in 'certain circles' I really DO have a 'rep' for being snotty. I own it. 'Certain circles' will just have to deal with it....but thanks for your back up!!
My, some 'testiness' here today!
People here have mentioned that smoking is an addiction and I agree.
With drug/alcohol addictions, aren't yous supposed to give them their 'rock bottem'?
Seems like this is what the daughter is doing.
Where is the poster who asked this question anyway? We've all been good about answering it, I'd love to hear what she thinks now!
Jenni said... 172
Why would you need to understand how a test was done? Here's an experiment you can do: light a cigarette, inhale and blow. Watch where the smoke goes.
====
You could have saved the taxpayers of California a lot of money if you'd have told THEM that. They paid Hugo Destaillats $715,929 to perform his experiment.
Why would I need to understand how a test was done? I guess I'm just a square peg.
~~~~~~~~~~~`
Permanent Name in Blue @ 165 - Thank you. It's a tough job, but...
Kate has a pattern...everyone should know by now that twitter silence means Jon has the kids....she only needs twitter as a babysitter for herself so the kids can fend for themselves and her fingers are Kept too busy to pull hair or use a wooden spoon.
Hi Admin.
Not sure about the techie stuff involved re: mobile devices and such. I guess the normal Web version is too long(?) for phones....I don't have a clue.
It would be FAB if you could help out us iPad users but I don't know if there are more posters in that corner or the phone corner. Totally your call. I'll just say that this version is so insanely time consuming for posting only. I can certainly handle scrolling down once to change to Web as long as I'm content to just read and not post. Then it gets to be too much trouble to just jump in.
Thanks so much for hearing us!!
HOGS!!
Berks resident.....102:
Oh....can't believe I forgot to say something about your post. Meant to much earlier.
Can I just say "WOW!" ......I don't blame you for being upset about what your DD said in regards to the money. My mouth literally dropped open when I read that...BUT....has happened here and there with each of my 3 boys too. Ooooooh! SO maddening! Funny how, after they drop a bomb like that on us, even though it's very, very rare, you still stand there thinking "who the hell raised this brat?"!!!!
Oh, yeah....that would be ME! CRAP!!! Then you spend DAYS wondering where the heck you went wrong. For me, I stink-eye them and walk around, muttering under my breath.....things they won't EVER hear!! Hahahaha!!
Oh....finally....we pack our suitcases and head to Mexico!! ALONE!
"dos pinas coladas, por favor!". Wheeeeeee!
You could have saved the taxpayers of California a lot of money if you'd have told THEM that. They paid Hugo Destaillats $715,929 to perform his experiment.
Why are you picking on ME? Write to THEM if you don't like it. Someone asked for clear proof that tobacco smoke is full of carcinogens. Don't shoot the messenger. Sheesh.
Purple skies @ 159 said "I am neither obtuse or ignorant in my statements."
Either/or; Neither/NOR.
How's that for changing the topic of discussion? Scroll on by!
I got home from work a little bit ago and have not finished reading all of the posts yet. First of all, let me say that I appreciate all of the heartfelt responses to my dilemma. All of the posts have been insightful, caring, and offering opinions and suggestions from both sides of the fence. I very much appreciate that and that is the reason why I posed this question on this blog. I knew I was dealing with intelligent, caring people who would give their honest opinions, and that is what I was looking for.
As for my daughter taking her stance now, I thought I mentioned it yesterday, but maybe I didn't. Her husband's grandmother, who is in her 80's, is very sick. She is now on oxygen as needed daily, and can no longer climb stairs so they made a bedroom for her in the dining room. My daughter goes there 3 times a week to give her shots and medicine. This started before Thanksgiving.
Prior to this, my daughter has always talked to us about our health, (the hubs smoking, me having to lose weight, our food choices, etc.). However, since this has happened with the grandmother, she has been more insistent and told us that the doctors do not think that the grandmother will make it through 2013. I know that this has brought our mortality to the forefront. I do believe she is making this decision because of what she feels is best for her sons. I also believe she is trying to get us to face our mortality and improve our lifestyle. I know it is done out of love for her sons as well as for us. We will figure a way to make this work, somehow. I have to because all involved are so important to me.
Please do not argue over the different opinions over this. I do not want there to be hard feelings on this blog because of my OT post.
Most of all, thank you all for your caring and considerate opinions and suggestions. I am hopeful that something can be worked out. You are all very special to me and I so appreciate your honesty with this subject. There are no hard feelings, only overwhelming admiration and respect. Thank you, my friends. God bless.
I forgot to say: big "hogs" to all of you! Thanks, Lbelle, you made me laugh out loud, hon, and I'm grateful for that!
OK, topic change. Kate had been spotted in NYC the day after Christmas. There has been twitter silence from her since that time so it makes sense. Is she there for another hair frying session? My guess is yes.
I think it's funny that she never posted not even one picture of her tree, her fabulous (rated 10) dinner, her kids, the mountains of presents, etc. Her sheeple were begging for pictures and she ignored their requests.
I don't like Kate but I would never wish her harm. I truly hope she's alright.
Jenni said... 181
Why are you picking on ME? Write to THEM if you don't like it. Someone asked for clear proof that tobacco smoke is full of carcinogens. Don't shoot the messenger. Sheesh.
=====
Sheesh indeed. How the heck is responding to your question "picking on you"? I'm not going to write to anyone, you're the person who posted the dang thing in the first place. Didn't you read the article YOU linked? Dr. Destaillats did not provide clear proof that Tobacco-Specific N-nitrosamines were present in anyone's house. He blew it on to cellulose sheets sprayed with nitrous acid.
I'm finished with the topic now and moving on for sure this time. Ciao. :)
Jo said... 185
OK, topic change. Kate had been spotted in NYC the day after Christmas. There has been twitter silence from her since that time so it makes sense. Is she there for another hair frying session? My guess is yes.
********
Yep, she's out of town, spending money like it's water. So much for planning anything to do with her kids over their winter break.
Maybe I'm just being a conspiracy theorist, but I am starting to think she hardly saw the kids over Christmas. With not one pic of one Christmas thing, just the dog in the basement.... mmmm... I think she did get out of dodge asap.
Here's your presents kids. Buh bye. Scat. Shoo. I won't the the door hit me in my ass. Where's the town car???!!!!
We are going to laugh about hogs forever, much the way we do about rumspringa. Newbies won't get it, and the drive-bys will think we're nuts.
Thanks admin for letting this be such a fun blog!
LMG...aw..it was nothing...we're happy to have an opinion. :-)
Admin,
As I understand it, yes. If you make the change those that prefer the mobile version because it works on their device then they would be changing the 0 back to a 1. At this point, I have experienced waft others have on iPad, iPhone and android 3G and 4g devices (different OS for 3G vs 4g). I do not know is other tablets are havings issues.
as long as I stay logged in changing the address bar seems to work. It was a PIA before learning the workaround though.
I just have to respond to the "clique" comment. I don't know why some posters always state that is the case. I was new here, was welcomed, and didn't feel there was a clique. Working Woman is new here, and from her posts, I don't think she felt there was a clique, either. Sometimes, like in all pulblic situations, it may take someone a bit of time before they feel they fit in; I know it did me. However, that doesn't mean there was a clique; it just took me some time before I felt comfortable making my posts, not knowing how they would be received. However, no one was mean or nasty or insulting. After awile, I felt like I was talking to friends, and many here will say the same thing. It just doesn't happen in one day or one week. It all takes time, like everything in life.
Thanks again for all of your support everyone.
LMG....I didn't post on this subject before because people who smoke know the consequences of their habit. There isn't anything anyone could tell them that they don't already know.
My dear Aunt is dying of lung cancer right now. It's a slow agonizing death and, God forgive me, I wish she would just pass on. It's so painful for her and so painful to watch. She has been a life long smoker. My cousin, her daughter, is taking care of her right now. She, also, is a life long smoker. My cousin knows the consequences. She's living with it every day.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I see both sides of your story. Don't get yourself in the middle. I think this is between your daughter and her dad. She needs to speak to him directly. They need to work it out.
You are a loving, giving person and I know it will be hard for you but it's not your battle.
Permanent Name in Blue said... 162
Remona does not have a 'rep' for being snotty, dear.
#### Actually she does. I read here daily, often several times a day and she does tend to be snotty.
And while I don't think there is an actual 'clique' here, I do think there is a group of really nice women who respond to a favorite poster (LMG) when she is having troubles and wants advice.
##### See, you just proved what I said. Calling someone a favorite poster perpetuates the clique atmosphere, the clique mentality, it feels very exclusionary. And I know others feel the same way I do but prefer to remain silent rather than be deleted, called out or flamed.
For those where the change is switching back, what iPad do you have...original? IPad 2, etc? os version per settings? Only if you wish to share, of course :)
The clique issue -- we all posted (timidly in some cases) for the first time. Everyone of our "names" was new and unfamiliar at one time. When a poster says they have been around since the beginning, I feel like a newbie.
I still miss posters who faded out or decided to take time off. I enjoy the comments from a fresh (new) perspective.
This is a great place to visit, learn, care and now to collect HOGS.
Lbelle, thank you for being such a great sport about our giggling.
I find in interesting that Kate tweeted not one single photo of anything remotely Christmas-y in her home, from the half-lit tree, to
decorations, to kids etc. 130
For whatever reason, these kids had a private Christmas for which I am thankful. Dare I hope that this is the start of a trend?
Spoke too soon. Scary stuff:
Stephanie xxxxx@Stephixxxxx
@Kateplusmy8 Stop @ your gate today so my nieces could take pics! Wish
the kids could say hi!!!
p.s. must say to IDModo and Auntie Ann that I adore you both!
Also think that "clique" is the new "jellus". (?)
Jo,
When/where was the NY sighting? It's interesting that she would go... she has no sponsors, no purseboy, no upcoming show to get her straw fried for.
Does she twit when she's in NY? Maybe we'll get a phone photo of her 'fish in paper' at F&O. Although I find it hard to believe she'd pay for it herself.
If she is really up there, I would have to assume (dangerously) that she dumped the kids as fast as she could and Jon will have them through the new year.
Although............ actually, I don't really give a steaming sh*t what she does.
I only comment because once again she is the master of the spirit of the word. She said the kids would be with her for Xmas, and they were, but just until the very moment Xmas was over. I bet she had those kids packing for Jon's on Xmas night.
Good ole kart, same old, same old. We can set our clocks by her.
Books! I'm stuck and need a new series to really get into. I've been liking mysteries for the past 6 months or so and have worked my way through Patterson, Cornwell, a few of the Jack Reacher books, Janet Evanovich, Robert Parker, the Kellermans, Sue Grafton. I'd love some suggestions!!
Upstream, “zero” grade air was humidified to 45% relative humidity by passage through an impinger before entering the reactor containing two identical cellulose substrates
&&&&&&&&&&&&
I don't know about you, Auntie Ann, but I never had a problem with an impinger. Once you've seen one impinger, you've seen them all. It's those darn cellulose substrates that always make me wonder if I should have some liposuction done. Oh, wait a minute, that was cellulose, not cellulite...never mind!
LMG, is your husband your daughter's father? I don't want to be rude, but I'm not sure and if he's not, that might explain a little of this to me.
I can't resist said... 182
Purple skies @ 159 said "I am neither obtuse or ignorant in my statements."
Either/or; Neither/NOR.
How's that for changing the topic of discussion? Scroll on by!
________________________________
It showcases you as someone concerned with insignificant details on a blog. A petty nitpicker.
I know what you mean, Jo. I watched my father die of lung cancer for over a year. At the time, I was a smoker, and after that I wanted to stop, but couldn't. I didn't quit until about 18 years later. I understand the addiction as well as my daughter's point and her love for her sons. We all love them. Yesterday, I was depressed. Today, I feel there is hope and this can be worked out. Mainly because the love is there all around, we just have to remember that as we try to work out a solution.
Until we do, I will be sending cards and letters to my boys, as someone suggested (I'm sorry, I read so many posts that I don't remember who posted this wonderful idea. Please forgive me.)
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