This is a time of year that is about love, family, friends and most of all giving. Discuss holiday plans, recipes, gifts (the tangible and intangible) and more here.
Meanwhile, just in time for the season, Netflix and Amazon.com have released for streaming a raw and intense documentary about giving, Craigslist Joe.
In December 2011, 29-year-old Joe Garner decided to see if he could live solely off the generosity of others all month long. He empties his wallet and takes to Craigslist. The dozens and dozens of heartwarming (and often funny!) encounters Joe has with people from Craigslist moves him, and viewers, to tears. In particular, he is once invited to stay with an Iraqi family in Seattle. They tell him about their experiences, good and bad, as immigrants in the U.S. And in New York, he meets an eccentric woman named Fran with cancer. Joe quickly realizes Fran has a severe hoarding problem. Without judgement, he spends a few hours at her place clearing one small area for her to sit, bringing joy and peace to Fran. Will Joe find a place to rest his head and food to eat every day? The answer may surprise you.
Craigslist Joe is the ultimate 31-day grifting plan--and yet this grifting had a greater purpose. To see if most people really are generous, open, and good at heart. Perhaps the most moving moment of all is when Joe's mother talks about the experience. She says she wasn't going to worry about her son out there. She was confident her boy would find plenty of good people to help him. We were rooting throughout the film for Joe to prove his mom right. Thank you, Joe and Zach.
1625 sediments (sic) from readers:
«Oldest ‹Older 1201 – 1400 of 1625 Newer› Newest»He even wrote a letter saying please examine my brain after I die and try to figure me out.
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Was this the one who had the undiagnosed aggressive brain tumor that was found upon autopsy? There was a movie made, starring Richard Thomas as the shooter.
Working Woman said... 195
''Why do you think the mental health issue gets overlooked?''
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Honestly, I think that the reason mental health issues for troubled children (who can be identified at an early age) are overlooked is financial. It is costly, the insurance companies won't cover the treatment past a certain time, states and federal funding is cut and/or non-existent. IF the problem was addressed and fully funded, if only for minor children, I think it would make a real difference.
I'm not sure if there even IS an answer for the adults who stop taking the medication that has helped, and then become a very real problem. In my extended family by marriage, there is a young man who was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia as he entered his teens. The things he put his parents and sister through year after year, despite treatment, was really awful. Finally, after threatening his parents with a knife, he produced a gun (that to this day, no one knows how he got...they sure didn't have guts!) he told them that he couldn't stop ''the voices telling him to kill them, so he was going to kill the voices''. He shot himself in the head, and did ''kill the voices'', but not himself. That was almost 20 years ago, and he is now in a hospital for the ''criminally insane'' because he was too aggressive and unmanageable for the facility he was in. Just one more sad story about mental illness. Who knows what the answer is?
Apparently the psychologist mentioned was talking about the desensitization effect it has on players, not the cause of these shootings. I didn't hear the interview so I am just going by what the poster said earlier. As of November 2011 the "Call of Duty" (video game) franchise has had sales of 124.65 million. The Modern Warfare series is the biggest seller. In my opinion there would be a lot more mass shootings if violent video games were the cause of mass shootings.
Even if Kate makes it clear that she's done with Milo, Milo will not stop. She is so much like my former elderly stalker, who I cut off 18 months ago, and I just got a Christmas card - again - even though I do not acknowledge them or any of the e-mails sent since June of 2011. They cannot stop.
Alberta Girl -- I think not telling your kids about the shootings is a valid choice at their age. However, to be on the safe side, you should be prepared if they hear of it and have questions. Kids find out all kinds of things in some of the strangest ways.
Butterfly --You're welcome. Merry Christmas! That blog is well worth bookmarking and/or signing up for their daily emails. It isn't the most comprehensive freeby blog/newsletter, but it has an interesting mix of main stream and Indy published books.
Remona Blue said... 3 Just one more sad story about mental illness. Who knows what the answer is?
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Speaking as someone who has a daughter who suffers with borderline personality disorder (a catch-all term in my opinion) and mixed bipolar no one knows the answer(s).
readerlady,
Before I forget - again, I owe you a huge THANK YOU for sharing a number of free kindle book sites. I've signed up for some of the daily e-mails and have downloaded a bunch of interesting books! My reading list runneth over. ;-)
I wonder if Milo makes her husband wear a stringy, fried bleach blonde wig to bed every night. Seriously, can't help but wonder.
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And a thong from Victoria's Secret.
Admin, I agree with you about it not being an intern. Awhile back I wasn't too sure, but not even someone paid to act an obsessed fan would be this nuts. Is Milo Iwana as some suspect? I'm still working on this one because I'm questioning if he is who he says he is and really does have a terminally ill wife. Something just doesn't pass the smell test. When Kate met him, something must have spooked her because she never tweeted him again. That's strange.
If Milo is so darned concern about the kids' feelings in all of this, then why not DM her about it? Better yet, call her. She claims that they are close friends (she has stated that it's such a personal relationship but out of respect for Kate's privacy can't discuss many things). Okay, then, you use your cell phone and you call the person. Or, you DM them so it can remain private. Instead, she brags about their relationship on Twitter while pestering her for answers. I strongly believe the two have never met in person.
At one time it was amusing...good Twitter entertainment. But when you see how much she has descended into this celebrity worship thing, you realize that there really is a mental health issue going on there.
Considering all of the discussion and need for more programs in place to deal with the mentally ill in society, you realize that she does need help. She's one example of a person who doesn't recognize that she has a problem, and apparently neither does her family. Admin has said all along that nothing good is going to come out of this, and sadly, she may be right.
PJ I remember your stalker tale but not a lot of details. IF you have time and want to, could you tell it again? I think it's even more relevant now.
First of all, thank you Working Woman, JoyInVA & LMG for making me feel so welcome here!
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Realitytvkids.com (Administrator) said... 174
"You should def be concerned if you have teens."
This. As I mentioned before, my teenage son could not wait to see his 5-year-old sister when he got home on Friday. All day today he has been hanging out with us, which just about anyone with teenage boys can tell you is not normal. jk He just seems to need to be around people. I told him on Friday that he can talk to me any time he needs to about it, but so far he hasn't said much. He just rambles about the house.
BTW, he does play a lot of WWII video games. Yes, there is violence. I am in no way concerned that he is becoming desensitized, though I also believe that some kids (and adults) play those types of games for different reasons. If I thought my son was playing them for the thrill of the kill, the would disappear immediately. Parents need to be in touch and talk about these games with their teens/children to understand what the appeal really is.
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Final note on guns: I am not against them per se, but believe that every gun should be in a locked safe (this is absolutely NOT a commentary about the tragedy in CT).
I just happened to have this conversation with a friend on Thursday night after she told me her husband bought a handgun to take to a shooting range, and keeps it unloaded in the closet. I told her that if her home is ever invaded, the closet not a good place to have a gun, loaded or not & that ammunition is readily available for purchase by any thief. I suggested she get her husband a gun safe for Christmas.
Hope no one is offended by my views.
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Realitytvkids.com (Administrator) said... 200
"I don't know about anyone else, but I have not discussed one word of this tragedy with my boys, who are 6 and 7."
We did not tell our Kindergartener either. How can I possibly explain this to a child who less than 3 months ago was terrified to go to school for the first time? I don't know how I would ever get her onto the bus tomorrow morning. For many weeks leading up to the first day of school we had to calm the jitters, talk about how safe she would be, etc. I just cannot tell her.
The possibility certainly exists that there will be chatter on the bus amongst the older kids & she may hear about it. I have tried to think about what I would say in such a case, and am still at a loss for words.
Realitytvkids.com (Administrator) said... 168
Call me a crazy conspiracy theorist, but I tend to think that there's a very good possibility that these tweets by Milo are pre-arranged with KG behind the scenes. It gives Kate the opening to bring the topic back up and bring it back to HER kids. 'Cause you know, it's all about Kate, ALL the time.
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Kind of. My theory is that Milo has self-appointed herself protector and guider of Kate.
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I think Milo has devolved into living fantasy TV episodes in her head, with herself as a main character. She sits and thinks about it all day, at 11:30 they are doing this, at noon they are doing that. She fantasizes, writes scripts, dialogue, screenplays in her mind. Hence her repeated make-believes of "I'm sure that you..." "i bet you just..." etc.
The advice she is giving Kate fits into Milo's daily focus and how Milo wants the episode to play out. She is tweeting Kate her dialogue and stage directions.
The post that did it for me was the one where she asked Kate and Deanna "What you 2 girls gigglin about over there?". Bingo. In Milo's fantasy she had played out this pajama party and got stumped because she needed a topic they could all be 'gigglin' about.
I still think that Milo is in a nursing home or something, Kate KNOWS this and that is why she isnt the least bit worried about Milo showing up on her door. She thinks the person is harmless. it is possible Kate has convinced herself that she is doing Milo a favor by gracing her mediocre institutionalized life with Kate's amazing e-presence.
I could be alllll wrong, as usual, and when the truth comes out it will be even more gross and shocking than anything we have thought of.
But here's a point, Kate; You are disappointing Milo with your shoddy child rearing. Every once in a while she snaps out of her fantasy and realizes you aint quite up to snuff. If Milo has the means, would she feel any of these kids would be better off with HER, instead of YOU? Kate - she is just that unstable, for the love of God.
As far as HOW and WHAT Kate should tell the kids: didnt she already do that when she flounced herself to their school to flap all around them like a screeching banshee with hugs? Admin hypothesized at the time that one of the many reasons she could have been there was to pick them to take them to their father's. Has Kate's tweeting this weekend supported that? If she has been fairly quiet on twitter, then the kids are with Jon; Kate is very very clear about only tweeting when she is avoiding her kids.
When the Challenger exploded I was in preschool. This is the one all the schools were closely incorporating it into classrooms because a teacher was on board. My parents didn't tell me. Apparently none of us asked about it, little kids have short term memories. The adults just stopped talking about it and I guess as kids we accepted that. I'm glad she didn't tell me. There's no way I would have understood it and it just would have scared me. Older kids you would have to tell them, but I see nothing wrong with trying to keep it from kids if you can.
The advice she is giving Kate fits into Milo's daily focus and how Milo wants the episode to play out. She is tweeting Kate her dialogue and stage directions.
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Yes! Good point!
I think today's episode is a Very Special Kate Plus 8 where Kate talks about a great national tragedy with the children, they all hug, shed tears, Kate reflects on how she feels this tragedy deeper than most, and at the end you can donate to Newtown.
Except Kate doesn't play into that crap, and good for her.
I'm sure everyone has heard about the plot to kill Justin Bieber. I was listening to a news report and got scared out of my wits. The guy who was arranging the murder and castration of Justin was in prison and a sick, sick FAN. He had tattoos of Justin on his body. Somehow, he talked two guys into doing the dirty deed for him. Anyway, this psychologist was on one of these news shows and he said it's the uber fans you have to worry about committing murder on their celebrity crushes. But, we all knew this.
I really wish Kate would get off Twitter. Too many people know everything that goes on with her family. I'm sure she had been warned but, like everything else, she chooses to ignore.
Except Kate doesn't play into that crap, and good for her........
We will wait and see. As soon as the kids get back from their father's home, Kate will be on Twitter ignoring them and possibly replying to nosy Milo's prying questions and unsolicited advice..
Well so far she hasn't. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.
I am curious as to why Kate hasn't responded to Milo regarding the kids' reactions and if/how she is discussing it with them. I am thrilled, but curious and kind of surprised.
This is a woman who has shown her kids pooping, vomiting, having meltdowns, and has spoken about their reactions to the divorce and their school issues.
Milo's question is indescribably inappropriate but so is lot of the stuff Kate shares.
Is Kate finally getting sick of Milo????!
Philly
OT, but something that might be different/change of pace to watch on tv tonight:
"Golden Sisters" on OWN at 10pm EST, is a reality show about Mary, Josie & Teresa, three senior citizen sisters (81 & 73 yrs old) who became famous after a Youtube video of them watching Kim Kardashian's sex tape went viral.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/golden-sisters-premiere-own_n_2311087.html
Philly asked
''I am curious as to why Kate hasn't responded to Milo regarding the kids' reactions and if/how she is discussing it with them. I am thrilled, but curious and kind of surprised........Is Kate finally getting sick of Milo????!''
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Philly, I suspect the more probable answer to your question is that KK doesn't have the kids, and THAT is why she has not (yet) responded to Milo. It is firmly established that KK doesn't tweet unless she has the younger kids!
Suze said... 21
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I love these women and will be watching. Thanks for the reminder :)
Tweet-le De Tweet-le DUMB said... 8
Speaking as someone who has a daughter who suffers with borderline personality disorder (a catch-all term in my opinion) and mixed bipolar no one knows the answer(s).
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Tweet-le - that's a devastating diagnosis for a parent to receive. My heart goes out to you.
Tweet-le De Tweet-le DUMB said... 8
''peaking as someone who has a daughter who suffers with borderline personality disorder (a catch-all term in my opinion) and mixed bipolar no one knows the answer(s).''
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I'm so sorry. I realize that is not really an adequate response, but I don't know what else to say, other than to give you a virtual hug...{{{Tweet-le De Tweet-le DUMB}}}
When 9/11 occurred, I was part of a longtime homeschool co-op group, meeting in a very rural area. There were seven of us moms. For Sept. 11, 2001, we had planned a route through the woods to simulate the Oregon Trail. We had costumes (even for the moms) and props and "stops" along the way for the "Trail." The kids ranged in age from 5 to 11. They were incredibly excited, everything was ready, and the day was gorgeous.
We didn't know what to do... so we carried on. One mom had a brother living in NYC. We all took turns returning to the house to try to garner information from CNN, but the kids had no idea that this day was any different. We decided we'd wait until we had more information and would each approach our own children at our homes.
We were blessed to watch the children's innocence and happiness while the world was falling down around us--returning to a simpler time, even in make believe. Over time, having this freedom to determine what our individual children were ready to absorb has been so comforting to us as a homeschool family.
I watched the McGhees. It's pretty much the same format as Jon and Kate Plus 8. I found it inexplicably boring. Hasn't America tired of multiples yet? This was interesting in maybe 1996.
Fired Up 4 Kate @MiloandJack
@Kateplusmy8 So sayin "good evening" 2one of the good people N this world! Kate Gosselin! How goes it 4U & ur 8 today? Prepared 4tomorrow?
Milo acts like the kids could never possibly be with Jon. She always, always assumes they are with Kate. She embarrasses her, and herself.
Jo said... 17
I'm sure everyone has heard about the plot to kill Justin Bieber. I was listening to a news report and got scared out of my wits. The guy who was arranging the murder and castration of Justin was in prison and a sick, sick FAN. He had tattoos of Justin on his body. Somehow, he talked two guys into doing the dirty deed for him. Anyway, this psychologist was on one of these news shows and he said it's the uber fans you have to worry about committing murder on their celebrity crushes. But, we all knew this.
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I so did not hear this- SCARY and SICK.
Realitytvkids.com (Administrator) said... 30
''Milo acts like the kids could never possibly be with Jon. She always, always assumes they are with Kate. She embarrasses her, and herself.''
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I think that is probably because Milo, like so many of KK's fans still believe that Jon only sees the kids every other weekend...thanks to KK, who will never admit that Jon has 50/50 custody!
They don't even allow him every other weekend! Logically this should be his weekend since Kate was gone the weekend of December 2 at the Vegas marathon. They don't even consider this a possibility. I've never seen such parental alienator enablers.
Realitytvkids.com (Administrator) said... 176
Also bear this in mind, 97% of kids play video games at least somewhat. 97%!!!! And I bet it's nearly 100% now that you can pretty much get any game on your smartphone. So basically, the odds that a shooter has played video games at some point in his past are astronomical. Nearly all kids have. That's sort of like trying to connect kids who swim in pools, or kids who wear sneakers, to killings. Too many kids do it to draw any meaningful connection to it.
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I can say with a degree of familiarity that boys on the autisim spectrum almost always play video games. For whatever reason, these games sync with the way their brains are wired and it's a comfort to them. It is a form of escape and it's a world they can control. Some of them become so engrossed in the games, it's all they can think about. We've had some kiddos who want to talk about the games non-stop. We sometimes have to use talking about the games as a reward- 30 minutes of math, then you can talk about COD 4 for 5 minutes.
As the many news reports have stated, autistic kids/people are not usually violent and this situation was very rare. However, IMO a combination of things need to happen. There needs to be more access to and *screening* for mental health services. Assault weapons should only be in the hands of our military. Common sense- if you have a troubled child, DO NOT take him to the shooting range.
Dwindle said...
I think Milo has devolved into living fantasy TV episodes in her head, with herself as a main character. She sits and thinks about it all day, at 11:30 they are doing this, at noon they are doing that. She fantasizes, writes scripts, dialogue, screenplays in her mind. Hence her repeated make-believes of "I'm sure that you..." "i bet you just..." etc.
The advice she is giving Kate fits into Milo's daily focus and how Milo wants the episode to play out. She is tweeting Kate her dialogue and stage directions.
The post that did it for me was the one where she asked Kate and Deanna "What you 2 girls gigglin about over there?". Bingo. In Milo's fantasy she had played out this pajama party and got stumped because she needed a topic they could all be 'gigglin' about.
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Wow, Dwindle--bingo!!
Yes Whitman the UT shooter had a brain tumor though he didn't know about it at the time. He was also in some kind of vehicle accident when he was a marine that he felt had altered his mental state. He was very smart but increasingly very troubled. His diaries are strange in that he understands what he is doing is terrible and yet expresses an absolute compulsion to do it. I think that is one of the strongest cases for people going nuts having organic roots to it, located deep in your brain, and not so much something outside environmental causing it.
For Whitman his outlet for his aggression was the marines and later abusing his wife. I think these people seek whatever outlet they can find. If video games aren't available, they'll just find some other means. Fist fighting or other aggression, shooting ranges or the military or something.
The advice she is giving Kate fits into Milo's daily focus and how Milo wants the episode to play out. She is tweeting Kate her dialogue and stage directions.
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So Milo is prompting Kate in expectation that Kate's responses will fit into the perfect world that Milo has crafted for both of them. Makes sense. I wonder if she types out her lesson plans/script a day in advance.
Milo may not be as dumb as we think, but nevertheless still has serious mental health issues going on that needs to be addressed before all hell breaks loose. And it will.
Wayward a thing I've noticed with autistics is they take a lot of pride and joy in getting really excellent at something, be it baseball cards or knowledge of dinosaurs or music or as you said, video games. Some of these games can be incredibly involved. A game like Assassins Creed an autistic child would absolutely love. It's this whole virtual world with all kinds of side missions you can organize to your liking.
You're right, these kinds of things would bring them comfort because of their ability to control and organize them in a successful manner when so much of the world feels out of their control. We might actually see more people upset with no outlets if we were to do something drastic like take video games away. Not that anyone suggested that, but these talking heads never think about all the good these things do when they spout off about whatever dangerous thing that caused a mass shooting.
IN looking up more information on what you said, I found this great article from 2012 in USA today about how comforting video games are to autistics. Companies are even designing games specifically for autistics! What a world.
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/story/2012-05-31/video-games-autism-students/55319452/1
Jo said... 17
"I'm sure everyone has heard about the plot to kill Justin Bieber... The guy who was arranging the murder and castration of Justin was in prison and a sick, sick FAN."
I was in high school when Ronald John Hinkley tried to assassinate President Reagan. Supposedly he did it because he had an obsession with Jodie Foster and was trying to get her attention. There is no limit to what mentally ill fans can do.
Some years ago there was an teenage actress that was stabbed on her own doorstep when a crazed fan showed up at her home and she answered the door. I believe he was also found to be mentally ill.
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Virginia Pen Mom said... 26
"We were blessed to watch the children's innocence and happiness while the world was falling down around us"
Realitytvkids.com (Administrator) said... 15
"When the Challenger exploded I was in preschool."
I was in college when the Challenger exploded. Even at that age it was so hard to grasp. I would see no benefit to trying to explain this to a preschooler. It would serve no real purpose other than incite fear and fodder for nightmares in a child that young. I agree with Jo: preserve innocence as long as you can. Children already grow up too fast and realize the world is not the safe place that they once believed.
Admin, thank you for that link. http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/story/2012-05-31/video-games-autism-students/55319452/1 It was a very interesting and informative article. There are answers to at least some problems out there for our children. I hope that more and more attention is paid (and funded) to make some sort of consistent and continued progress in the area of mental health.
When I did learn about it, I think in school several years later, it was way less scary. It had happened years ago. For some reason when you are a child knowing something was "a long time ago" is far less scary. I still found it a bit scary the idea of how horrific it was, but I wasn't scared by it. The reason we were learning about it was because Christie's mother visited our school to speak to us about how cool the space program is. I guess she must have been doing public speaking at schools during that time, what a woman to carry on her daughter's mission even after losing her to that very cause. What a remarkable lady. The image of her on old news footage looking up at the sky in confusion and disbelief I'll always remember. I also remember watching Reagan's speech after for the first time and thinking it was one of the best speeches a president had ever given after a tragedy. I should google her see if she's still around.
I watch this Milo thing with fascination and at Admin's request, here's why.
Part I
A few years ago, when I figured out who he was, I approached the widow of a client of ours, expressing my condolences about her death. After that, he would weekly bring piles of paper of recirculated e-mail jokes and stuff, which I would promptly recycle. Later, I regretted not looking at them, or I would not have given him my e-mail address like he asked. But I did, and then he started sending it all to me there. Some of it was inappropriate, but it took him a while to start sending those. When I said they were inappropriate, he'd get indignant but would never apologize. By then, we were facebook friends, my heart was telling me he was a lonely old man, but gut my gut was saying something else. He would follow me relentlessly. I sort of knew it by things he'd say but restricted his access to obsessively post on my each and every post, sometimes multiple times. If I posted a picture of my dog or my yard, he'd comment at least twice, trying to scare up a convo in comments with me or a friend. If I posted a picture of myself, he would post 5-6 times. If someone wrote on my wall, he would jump into that conversation. After I made it where he could only read and not post, he would look for openings to say something, such as on someone else's wall, where they had an open profile. I was so embarrassed. If I was ever on and saw he was on, I would get off immediately, because I knew he would try to chat. I remember one day he said something that made me think I wanted to open up a can off whoop ass on this dirty old man. He said "That was funny what your friend Chad said." I said, "How do you know what my friend Chad said?" He said, "I looked at your wall and saw what you said back." WHY??? (They have since changed this and your activity is visible only to you.) So I asked why. He said, "That's just the way facebook is set up." I said, "And......I don't understand WHY you care what I am saying to people you don't even know." He said, "Well, that's just how facebook is!" I realized he was doing it constantly.
I still found it a bit scary the idea of how horrific it was, but I wasn't scared by it.
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This doesnt make sense lol, I should say I found it upsetting the horror of it, though not scary.
Part II (so sorry)
I have a travel blog and Blogger started tracking stats. I only have about 10-15 subscribers and I looked at my stats and the blog had been viewed over 3,000 times in 2 years. He'd comment there even though I would delete the comments. He would bring gifts from his daughters, with notes saying 'thanks for being such a good friend to our dad, he has come out of his shell.' That told me he was talking about me to his family. He would send cards, he had to look up my address to do that. For my 25th anniversary, he sent 2! He once said on my wall that he was bringing something to my house and I told him he was NOT. We had a heated debate and I finally agreed to meet him in town and he brought me some really awful asparagus from his property. I have no doubt he drives up my very short, dead-end street. He got increasingly insistent, increasingly possessive, and increasingly resentful at my attempts to limit his access and of my relationships with other people. and he was still sending me jokes about sex.
I had enough. I made a simple declaration that I was done with facebook and I blocked him and never looked back. He doesn't realize I am still on, but that he is blocked. The e-mails and cards have continued, without a single acknowledgement, and that sort of scares me because he knows where I live. The food bank knows not to ever ask me to volunteer on a Thursday because that's his day he goes. His attempts have dwindled, thankfully, and that made me hopeful, but that card I got yesterday turned my stomach. He makes me sick. Milo does too.
Sorry for the long-winded response. But Milo has inserted herself just like this guy did. Gradually and then boldly and then insistently. They do NOT realize that the feelings are not mutual, nor that all this weird stuff is visible to others. And I don't believe the feelings are mutual for Kate, I wonder quite often if she doesn't know what to do, because she rarely responds to those weirder tweets. For her, a public humiliation of Milo might be effective, but could be dangerous too. She's really in a Catch-22. She should have never let it get this far. I kick myself because if there were any dirty jokes in those piles of paper, I never would have opened the door with e-mail.
Again, apologies, and time to get ready for Dexter and Homeland!
OT for Dwindle: today I cooked a roast in my crockpot for the first time! With veggies. I used this recipe I found on the Lipton Onion Soup mix box. It turned out great! Thanks Dwindle, I never would have tried it without encouragement from the Crockpot Queen!
Jane and Remona, thank you for the kind words.
Pj's momma,
oh my....I was getting creeped out reading that! That is scary. I am glad no harm came to you from that weirdo. Stay safe.
PJ, didn't you post that story here once before, or was there a similar stalking story from someone else? I seem to remember the asparagus, for some reason. He's still doing this? Maybe you should put him in contact with Milo. They could drive each other nuts.
There are creepers out there. No doubt about it. Sorry you had to live through one of them, but I hope the worst is over.
I think it's deplorable that on Sister Wives tonight they showed the kids saying goodbye to their dog who was old and going to be put down. Any dog lover knows there is nothing more private than that moment when you say goodbye.
I asked PJ to post it again, she had posted it before, because I couldn't remember the details and lord knows I'd never be able to find her original post lol!
Thanks PJ.
I think the main lesson in your story is to be aware of what happened when you finally tell them on means no. In other words, it doesn't mean NO to them.
PJ's momma, how disturbing!
I am so sorry you have had to go through that. Sounds like such an uncomfortable situation.
You were very smart for blocking him and for no longer acknowledging those inappropriate messages.
I wish you the very best.
Pj's momma, I'm glad you're listening to your gut instincts.
Stay safe.
I'm not on Twitter and even if I were, probably wouldn't care to look at Milo's.
Does anybody know if she obsessively tweets other celebs and shows a remarkable interest in them, or if it all reserved for Katie?
Marie said ....
About a year ago or so I stood in line at the store to pay for something and this grandmother had this long collection of items was around Christmas and the person behind the register asked if she was buying for a organization. I never did forget that she lit up and said, "No, I have 23 grandchildren." Naturally as I picked my jaw up off the floor another person asked how many kids she had. "Oh, I had 9."
Just like that, like it was no big deal. But she grinned from ear to ear about it. This little elderly lady maybe in her mid 60s. So see Kate? People have had large families way the heck before you ver had your 8.
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Aw Marie that is so sweet! It seems like woman was just bursting with love for her grandchildren. Love hearing stuff like that, thanks for sharing :)
Working Woman said... 53
I'm not on Twitter and even if I were, probably wouldn't care to look at Milo's.
Does anybody know if she obsessively tweets other celebs and shows a remarkable interest in them, or if it all reserved for Katie?
==============
All Katie--except for celebs Kate may have tweeted recently. Milo inserting herself, just as PJ said.
PJ, that's a terrifying story. Sounds like you handled it well and did a good job of reading the clues along the way.
So Milo is prompting Kate in expectation that Kate's responses will fit into the perfect world that Milo has crafted for both of them. Makes sense. I wonder if she types out her lesson plans/script a day in advance.
==========================
It's as though she lives in an alternate universe where she dictates what is going on and expects Kate to follow her daily plan. Every now and then something happens and she flips over to the "real" world. When that happens, she has become aggressive, demanding, and pesters the heck out of Kate, not to mention she deviates from her usual meetin-goin hick platitude-tweetin godly woman to a much more "in your face" person who is confrontational with other sheeple and with Jon and Liz. It's almost like another personality emerges. I think that is why some believe that Milo is more than one person. Perhaps she is a "multiple."
In any case, she's dangerous.
JoyinVirginia said... 45
OT for Dwindle: today I cooked a roast in my crockpot for the first time! With veggies. I used this recipe I found on the Lipton Onion Soup mix box. It turned out great! Thanks Dwindle, I never would have tried it without encouragement from the Crockpot Queen!
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Ah, The Lipton Onion Soup method! Excellent! Works on chicken too. I am glad you enjoyed it, it is not everyone's cup of tea (*cough* admin *cough*) but it sure is easy!
Sniffle... I love my crock pots... blowwwwww... so glad you could share in my happiness.... dabs eye....
PJ's momma said... 42
I watch this Milo thing with fascination and at Admin's request, here's why.
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I do recall you telling us this before. My goodness. Have you ever considered notifying the authorities? Or are you fearful that it would make it worse? Thank you for sharing this again.
Marie said...This little elderly lady maybe in her mid 60s
======================
Marie - I know you're young and I do like your posts, but mid 60's is not a "little elderly lady". Isn't 60 the new 40??!!
The sheeple implication about bullying becomes even more inappropriate after watching 60 Minutes which interviewed a student in his 10th grade class who is indicating there was no bullying whatsoever of this young man.
Although Adam Lanza was very quiet in school and made it clear he did not want to participate in anything socially, the other students respected that and left him alone. He was a smart kid, in honors. At one point he was homeschooled. Nothing about bullying him. It's not really fair to blame other students when all indications are they were respectful of him and respected his wishes to not interact. Clearly he had severe social anxiety. His mom told friends he had Asbergers. I pray for Asberger families and that this not become a stereotype-- this is NOT the norm for this.
Question for HEATHER,
Did you, by any chance, just have a book published? I've been surfing the net and wonder if a book I want was written by you... the content sounds right and the first name fits.
I won't disclose your name/book etc to protect your privacy, but the book looks really great - very health concious.
I've put a hold on it at the library and will probably buy it.
Could be this is a small world!
Marie,
LOL - I'm 61, and consider myself anything but elderly!!!
Yes, 60 IS the new 40 :-)
The kicker about that stalker? He is 88!
I actually went against my instincts and learned not to do that. If your gut is telling you something, listen to it!
My husband does not know a lot of this. He knows the basics but not a lot of details. He would have gone over there and choked that creepy old fart with his oxygen tubes, Lol. Plus, he would have been mad at me for allowing me to let it get that far. And I am already mad at myself.
Think about it, wouldn't you be mortified and so ashamed if strangers were telling you how creepy you were, accusing you of having your nose in someone's crotch, etc., on twitter? A normal person would be. But these obsessives are not normal.
On another note, although I don't discount bullying is an issue that should be addressed, it may not be as widespread as sheeple want us to think--many schools do not have bullying problems. When I was a kid it was all the rage to mainstream everyone and that brought all kinds of students under the same roof. Bullying was not common. I never saw it. In fact it was considered cool to be signing with the deaf students or push someone's wheelchair down the hall. Not all high school kids are this evil bunch of terrible young people. Just look at the youtube video of the young man with autism who played in a basketball game. People went crazy cheering for him, he is very well loved and taken care of at his school.
It strikes me as strange that Adam Lanza's brother, Ryan, who was the original suspect, was on Facebook on Friday to dispel those rumors. He kept writing, It wasn't me, I was at work, etc...
So he knows he's a suspect in a mass shooting of young children, then he finds out his mother was killed, and that his brother Adam was probably the actual killer ... and he is on Facebook???
Maybe I'm off on the timing of everything, but it just seems weird.
That said, I do feel sorry for Ryan, truly. Imagine what his life is going to be like. His mom and brother are gone, and he has to live with the devastation his brother caused in Newtown. It's such a shame.
I don't think he realized it had any connection to his family. I think he thought someone mixed him up with someone else or that it was a coincidence it was the same name. Plus I'm sure people were probably saying terrible things on his facebook that made him fear his very life, I'd want to say hey wait it wasn't me, too!
@Permanent Name, NJGal51, or maybe anyone else who is going to read that who is 40 and over.
I didn't mean insult anymore really I didn't mean to do it. Wasn't my intention at all. That I didn't mean make people feel old in anyway. I meant the term out of respect not to be mean.
If I could I would erase it but I am having trouble with doing that because I don't see little trash can. But I'll work on it and I'll take it down..as soon as I figure out how.
I've been absent for a while - the Hoffman book made me sick, and this tragedy in CT has tossed me another brick. Words cannot convey my horror...
I have limited my viewing of the news but saw something that made some sense - it was interview with retired homicide detective (not working on this case).
He said there is usually a trigger in cases like this, and most likely the cops already know it, but aren't releasing the motive yet. But this guy said he *thinks* it could be something like the mother was in the process of "committing" (not the right word, but I can't remmember exactly) the son. That she probably knew something was very wrong, getting worse and was taking steps to have the cops/court take him in for mandatory psych evaluation.
There is so much we don't know this early in the tragedy, but he thinks more will come out in a few weeks.
My heart aches for the families and for the residents of the town.
Admin at 64 ~
Unfortunately, you are mistaken. I do a lot of bullying awareness work and the statistics (not to mention the stories themselves might shock you. Consider this aggregate of research information, via Stompoutbullying.org:
Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students of all races and classes. 1 out of 4 kids is bullied and up to 43% of students have been bullied while online. Child and teen Bullying and Cyberbullying are at an all-time high. Some kids are so tormented that suicide has become an alternative for them. It has everyone worried. Not just the kids on its receiving end, but the parents, teachers and others who may not understand how extreme bullying can get. Love Our Children USA is working aggressively to prevent these issues and to help the kids and teens affected by it.
Bullying Statistics
• 1 out of 4 teens are Bullied.
• 9 out of 10 LGBT students experienced harassment at school and online.
• As many as 160,000 students stay home on any given day because they're afraid of being bullied.
• 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some "Bullying."
• 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school.
• A poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think violence increased at their schools.
• 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.
• More youth violence occurs on school grounds as opposed to on the way to school.
• 80% of the time, an argument with a bully will end up in a physical fight.
• 1/3 of students surveyed said they heard another student threaten to kill someone.
• 2 out of 3 say they know how to make a bomb, or know where to get the information to do it.
• Playground statistics - Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention -4% Peer intervention - 11%. No intervention - 85%.
Cyber Bullying Statistics
• Depending on the age group, up to 43% of students have been bullied while online. 1 in 4 have had it happen more than once.
• 35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 have had it happen more than once.
• 21% of kids have received mean or threatening e-mail or other messages.
• 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than once.
• 53% of kids admit having said something mean or hurtful to another person online. More than 1 in 3 have done it more than once.
• 58% have not told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online.
Some feel that bullying is a normal right of passage in growing up. It isn’t!! There will always be conflicts between kids, but bullying is intentional cruelty, harassment, and emotional, physical and sometimes sexual abuse. This behavior can set the tone for a lifetime of intentional cruelty or worse. And the consequences to the victim can seriously affect them for the rest of their lives.
Together we can STOMP Out Bullying™!
Sources:
http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/youthviolence/index.html
http://www.Olweus.org
http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/
http://youthviolence.edschool.virginia.edu/violence-in-schools/national-statistics.html
Yes, NJGal and Permanent, I found that a bit jarring, too. I'm in the process of applying for my first Medicare card, and I don't consider myself in the least bit "elderly". Older than I want to be, surely, but not elderly. I have to admit that I long for the days when I was younger and could go, go, go until I dropped in my tracks, though. Now I go and then drop in my tracks ;-).
Did anyone else watch any of the memorial service from Newtown? I caught about half of it. Very moving. Jewish and Muslim, Catholic and Protestants, united in grief and to comfort the bereft. Why does it take a tragedy like this to unite people of Faith, or of no Faith, for that matter? To quote the late Rodney King, "Why can't we all just get along?"
25% is actually right about where I expected it to be. That's a whopping 75% who aren't bullied. That's a lot.
The sheeple make it seem like it's 99%. It's simply not true.
Marie, it's OK, it isn't offensive, it's funny!
A wise person once told me that the older you get, the older'old' is. At 48, I consider someone in their 80s to be elderly, but in my 20s, I thought 60 was elderly too.
Marie!!!
Don't worry about it! My feelings weren't hurt at all. I just thought it was funny - when I was younger I too thought 60 was old.
Now I'm facing the fact that I might have only a few years left before I die. That's a real conversation stopper. I just cringe when I hear about people who die in their 60s.
I'm encouraged when I hear about folks living into their 90s - makes me feel like a have a bit to go yet.
Funny thing is, I NEVER thought of this when I was younger, but when all the parents and inlaws passed, there was no one in between me and the Grim Reaper, if you know what I mean.
Makes me appreciate every day so much more, and makes me take really, really good care of myself and DH.
I want to be one of those healthy elderly folk at 98 years old!!!
LOL
(And no, I don't have any reason to think I only have a few years left, but lawdy, lawdy, I hate to read obits of young people in there 60s)
Marie said... 67
''......If I could I would erase it but I am having trouble with doing that because I don't see little trash can. But I'll work on it and I'll take it down..as soon as I figure out how. ''
~~~~~~
Marie, not to speak for others, but I am sure they were teasing you. I know I was about to respond to you about being ''the new 50'', and it wasn't because I was insulted!
We're (half) teasing you Marie. When I was your age 60 did seem old, however when I reached 60 (I'm 61) 80 became old because , like permanent Name, I'm anything but old! Don't worry about erasing anything, just make your little old ladies in their mid 80's from now on!
When you're a kid 30 seems old! It quickly creeps older and older the older you get yourself lol.
Marie, I agree with NJGal and Permanent. I am just teasing you (well,half, anyway). I remember being in my twenties, and 60 seemed ancient to me. Now, not so much.
Admin - 25% is still 25% too many.
My MIL is 94....now that's a little old lady!
I don't know she may have been older this lady had white hair so I just put a number because she didn't look all that old.
But I really did mean it out of a respectful term when someone is older then you are.
If nobody minds, on an off topic could I ask is it possible to get rid of candle wax that's stuck to a fuzzy surface? One of my cats knocked over a candle I had heating up on a hot plate and I'm not about to tell my mommy that an entire cat tower is pretty much soaked in candle wax that's hardened. Does it come off of a surface like that? If anybody knows?
Age is such a touchpoint, isn't it?
I remember like it was yesterday when my mom and I were shopping at the PX and a friend of mom's came over to talk. She said hi, hadn't seen us in a while, that I looked all grown up, what was I now 15? I was so highly insulted that I said back to her in a quite huffy tone "I will be 16 and a half next week"
My mom and she got the funniest looks on their faces but I turned my shoulder, having been roundly insulted.
Back then I was fighting for.... a h a l f y e a r..... six months. I imagine I was rather a pain in the butt as a teenager.
I think at some point I have begun to be glad I wake up each day! :-) Frankly, I appreciate things now that I never did before. If I could offer any advice to younger women, it would be to savor and enjoy each day and each experience. Life can be very short, as this CT tragedy shows.
There is an old saying "too soon old, too late wise"
My point being it isn't right to assume the shooter must have been bullied, as many did. That's not right to his classmates who by all accounts, were kind and fair to him. There are plenty of good kids out there who are kind to kids like him.
Even if half tease I am still really, really sorry. I should just learn keep my mouth more shut that's all. That old rule of think before you say something or in this case think before you write something maybe too.
I haven't meant make any one feel ancient, old, elderly or angry even. I didn't have grandparents growing up so it's not as if I saw a lot of people who were like that. Except at church on Sunday but I didn't think a lot of it then.
Marie,
Hmmm, it's not something you can iron is it? A cat tower.... will it fit in the freezer?
What has worked for me in the past is to either put it in the freezer then scrape the hardened wax off with fingernail or butter knife, or I have ironed the fabric on the wrong side while it laid over a terrycloth towel with paper towels to soak up the melted wax.
What about icing it with ice cubes to freeze it in place then picking off with fingernail, if it won't fit into the freezer....
Oh, and I do admit to playing the little old lady card when I can get 'senior discounts' - call me a bad girl! I'm not too proud to take a discount :-) It helps that I have white hair.....
Marie - no one is angry at you just some good natured teasing from us "old farts". AND, I will never be gray or white because Lady Clairol is my best friend!
Admin said...71
With all due respect, sheeple be damned. Those statistics reveal a whole lot of emotional, physical, sexual and psychological abuse--unacceptable, by any measure.
25 percent. Think about it. That's one out of every four children, systematically and repeatedly abused by visible and/or untraceable means. One quarter of the kids who sit in each classroom, who ride the school bus or who walk home, unescorted. More kids, still, if you factor in the anonymity of cyberbullying.
And for each of those children, it's 100% harrowing. 100% real because it's happening to them, repeatedly, over an untold period of time. And don't forget the long-term consequences--some of which are predictable and immediately knowable, and others, not. Some bullying leaves invisible scars...or creates deep wounds that only become apparent over time.
This blog --all of us who post here-- has always advocated for children's rights. Why let the sheeple's perspectives be the yardstick against which we measure our own concerns about child abuse, no matter the hand that inflicts it?
My only issue with their implication is they implied that WE bullied Kate and WE are responsible. It was completely absurd and ridiculous, and now, even more irrelevant given that the shooter was in fact NOT bullied. If we don't care what the sheeple think then we should stop talking about them I guess.
It is incredibly unfair to accuse people of being bullies when they are NOT, no matter how much bullying is without argument 100% real to those who are actually bullied. That was my only point. Why accuse the innocent? That's akin to reverse bullying, in effect.
NJGal51,
Hey! Who you calling an old fart???? ROFLMAO
I have a friend who is Ms Manners personified and she calls us "women of a certain age". We are mysterious and worldly.... she is the same friend who says that we don't sweat, we 'glow'. I love having a friend like that.
Of course, old fart works too... ha ha
Marie, don't sweat it. It's all in good fun. Sometimes when we get older, we are in denial a bit. I know I am! My 87 year old step-grandma sent out a little newsletter and it really made me smile. She said, "I am shocked every time I see my grandmother looking at me from the mirror. In my heart, I am still that little girl who hated my uncontrollable ringlets and yearned for a pair of overalls because of all the wonderful pockets they had!" That's so her. And it's a lot of us too!
Marie...how much area is affected? If the wax soaked into the fibers, you might just need to cut them off. It will be a less fluffy cat tower!
During my undergrad studies in gerontology, we were asked many times "how old would we be, if we didn't know how old we were?"
Without exception, we all thought we were younger than our actual ages. It's an interesting phenomenon.
For me, a definite turning point was when the generation before me all died. That made me the oldest one. That has taken a bit of getting used to. I had no training to be the oldest in the family - the older aunt, the white-haired elderly aunt.... and there are nieces and nephews in our family who think of me that way now. Seems so odd..........
Don't have any grandkids. Have two grandcats, though.... sorry to say they don't appreciate me. Sad face.
My own fault anyway. Note, if you have cats don't put your cat tower next to a cabinet because said cat will jump.
You know the inside of cat tower where the cats take naps? About half that surface is now coated in lilac candle wax. And it's a big candle, the whole jar. I don't think this one is going to be any easy clean up. I had no idea how much cat towers cost and that's more money then I want my mommy to have to fork out. I don't think she'd like that.
Anyway someone once said age is a number I guess but it's still no reason be rude to people. I just assumed from maybe my childish approach all the people I ever saw at church had white hair or salt and pepper in color and I do remember thinking sitting on one of those wooden pews all anyone would ever tell me was, "I'm old enough to be your grandmother that's all you need to know."
It's a red herring, is it not? The situation in which Kate finds herself is in no way relevant to the situation in Newtown, no matter how hard they try to make it so.
I think it's healthy to discuss the sheeple's positions, if only to confront the lies and obfuscations. In this case, it's wrong-headed, irrational thinking. Those are the kindest terms I can think of in this circumstance.
Was the shooter bullied? Official and anecdotal reports suggest he wasn't, but we don't know that for sure. Bullies come in lots of different packages; they aren't always found in the sphere(s) of influence we might think. The only person who could speak to that young man's situation with any certainty? He isn't talking anymore.
Marie, maybe you can buy a cheap throw rug or use an old bath mat and just cut out a new liner to put on the candle wax. It'll still be soft and fluffy and it'll smell like lilacs in there!
I figure you can't go wrong saying "a woman of a certain age"........ it has a certain vague dignity and mystery to it.
My SIL has had PURE white hair since her late 20s. Very confusing situations would arise, including her being offered senior discounts in her 30s and 40s. People were always confused when she was younger because she had beautiful youthful skin and old lady hair.
She tells many funny stories after we all have a drink or two. Now she's the oldest sibling of DH, she's 69, almost 70. Still looks like she's 50 and she's in perfect California health. I figure she'll live to be 100.
My yoga teacher refers to women of a certain age as "well-seasoned." I kinda like that. :)
Most of all I hate the bullying implication because it diminishes what real victims go through.
LOL, My name is Connee, I'm 65 y/o and I'm not elderly!
Marie, honey, it's ok. actually I had a good laugh. With all the sadness now it felt really good. You just made my day. (((hugs)))
This part's already aired on all coasts. Lisa on Survivor said that being on a reality show is completely different than being on a regular TV show because on a TV show you were playing a character, had a role and a script. On a reality show you give of your heart and soul of YOURSELF. She played Blair on the Facts of Life as a kid.
Exactly what we've always said!
Kate tweeted: My furry 1 just came in for the night...photo by Mady; cute pose thanks to Cara (I was told to tweet this) Our Shoka: http://img.ly/qUSc
Sheeple asked: sarasmith2990
@kateplusmy8 is it raining at your house?
I don't know about you, but I always use a towel to dry my dogs who aren't wet.
Another sheeple said:
iheartrizzoli
@Kateplusmy8 wow so big already. Beautiful!!
Already? Wake up! The dog is four years old!
Sheeple -- you've got to love them!
Why was that dog outside so late on a cold, raw and rainy night? It's miserable out there.
It makes me sick the idea of that poor, poor dog out there in the cold, alone, instead of inside with his family. She tweeted that at 10 at night. Don't the kids themselves want him inside with them? Don't they notice how Liz's dogs are allowed inside with them to cuddle on the couch?
It makes me sick the idea of that poor, poor dog out there in the cold, alone, instead of inside with his family.
+++++++++++++++++
I know, admin. It's not arctic-cold freezing, but it's a nasty night. I have one dog on my feet (literally) and another at my side. Cat is on half the pillow. I hate to move them, but, well, it's late and morning will come too soon!
Realitytvkids.com (Administrator) said... 101
''It makes me sick the idea of that poor, poor dog out there in the cold, alone, instead of inside with his family. She tweeted that at 10 at night. Don't the kids themselves want him inside with them?''
~~~~~~~~~~~
Once again, KK has no clue what she reveals when she twits something that she THINKS is cute, or sweet. She doesn't think there is anything wrong with leaving the dog outside in the cold and rain, so it doesn't enter her mind that others will realize that a dog being brought in for the night with a towel over him means it has been outside in the cold and rain. As for the kids, I'd imagine that they wouldn't want to ask her too often for the dog to come inside, for fear that ''the spanker'' will come out to ''happy them up''. She is a stuck on stupid waste of space!!
If it were anyone else posting that pix of Shoka, I'd say the dog had just been out for one last potty and run, but knowing KK, he's been stuck outside for hours and hours while his "pack"is inside without him.
Admin -- We get what you mean. However, NO amount of bullying is acceptable or even understandable. What KK and her minions don't get is that merely disliking someone or disagreeing with someone doesn't constitute bullying.
How did we manage to pick up a (or a couple of) spammers?
Meetup groups and WA -- If you mean that Hippie Chick is a practicing Wiccan, some of us have known that for a long time.
Glad to see that Lisa made it into the final survivor..She was an 80's star,who found her faith early in life...good for her.
A good show,which was one of the 1st to break the grounds on a lot of subjects...abortion...sex...suicide..date rape..eating disorders,,ect ect.
I grew up with this show....it opened my eyes to many issues that were not ever talked about openly in my time.Happy to see The Facts of Life playing on HUB .
My SIL has had PURE white hair since her late 20s. Very confusing situations would arise, including her being offered senior discounts in her 30s and 40s. People were always confused when she was younger because she had beautiful youthful skin and old lady hair.
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When I was in my twenties working at an historic site, we always had younger (40's and 50's) people jokingly ask for a senior discount. It got a bit old, but we obligingly laughed each time.
So one day this handsome young man walked in and asked for the discount. I played along and laughed.
He got really agitated (or was he still joking?) and said, "Yes, I AM a senior." He looked like he wasn't even forty, so I laughed again.
He whipped out his wallet, and sure enough, he was in his sixties. I was shocked, but by then I had really offended him. I guess for him, the compliment aspect of not being believed had gotten old.... Pardon the pun.
So has Mady given up on being a Disney star? Or was that a solo singer that was her goal? No, wait, she wanted to be a movie maker.
Guess she's on to wanting to be a photographer now.
When something cute happens, the first thing out of my kids'mouths is, "Mom! You should tweet this to strangers!"
Uh, not. The first thing my kids say is, don't tell everybody, mom. Don't put it on facebook. Don't embarrass us. Please!
In my experience of dealing with Asperger those kids are not known to be violent in any form. In fact they are repulsed by violence and a stickler for following all rules. But, I have always been watchful that if someone is being mean to someone else in his presence that he would step in and take the brunt of it for the other person. I hear my son talking with his friends on X-Box who are wanting him to get a violent game and he says don't even ask - my mother would never, ever allow that. In fact he has never asked yet he knows that would be my response but I think he also says this so the other kids won't think he is too soft. He spends his time playing Minecraft which is a great creationary, building type of game.
Asperger is thrown around loosely, as a term that is more acceptable than say schizophrenia or bipolar. It is often given to kids as an umbrella type of diagnosis also until they are old enough to be more soundly diagnosed. I hope some of the experts come out and dispute this about Asperger kids who usually are in fact made fun of for being kind and obeying the rules instead.
I wonder if the shooter had a dual diagnosis or more. The high pain tolerance described by his tech club leader is consistent with Aspergers. I wonder if he had Aspergers as well as a personality disorder, mood disorder or both. I can't stop thinking about a guy I went to HS with in the 80s who, looking back on, probably had Aspergers. He was very stilted and socially awkward. But violence is not a hallmark of Aspergers.
PS Does Shoka have a doggie door she goes in and out of? How does she come in for the night?
Purely speculation...think there is maybe a court order not to talk about the tups specifically? She seems to rarely talk about them other than generically as a group.
Personally, I wish she wouldn't talk about *any* of her kids.
She's not a normal mom posting proud pics to a few friends and relatives.
She's a child abuser and exploiter, which changes the scenario.
PS Does Shoka have a doggie door she goes in and out of? How does she come in for the night?
I don't recall seeing a doggie door in any of the pics she's posted of the basement and iirc, there was a time when Shoka stayed outdoors 24/7. I don't believe it was until sometime this past year that he was even brought in at night.
Marie,.re wax removal, I agree with Permanent Name in Blue, if you let the wax garden and using ice on it makes it more brittle and better able to scrape off. Use the Burr knife, or try a scrub brush, something stuff to scrape it off.
Is the spam new? I haven't noticed it here before. Oh, swiffer girls!
Some of us are Methodist, Baptist, Catholic, Jewish, Pastafarian, agnostic, Wiccan. Variety and diversity is one of our strength. Re Survivor: overall it was a good season. They really kept people guessing, power kept shifting, blindsides really were surprises. My fave was Penner. I would have been happy with either of the final three winning.
Lisa s journey was interesting. When Penner was trying to get her on his side, he asked her ” what does the audience want? Who will be the pivotal character?” He talked to her in the language of TV production and storytelling.
That's why I liked this season a lot. There were definite stories for several interesting people. Still can't believe Abi did not have any idea of how she came across to people.
Admin didn't belittle anyone. Get over yourself.
"However, NO amount of bullying is acceptable or even understandable."
Ummmm no one ever said it was! I happen to agree completely, which is that you should not blame innocent people for bullying when bullying wasn't the cause and didn't even happen. Come on how obvious is it if he couldnt get a automatic weapon this never would have happened! Who said red herring....amen!!!!
Joy -- Pastafarian? Is that someone who worships Italian food? If so, sign me up!
I called it a "red herring," and now I'm calling "ad hominem." I own my point of view, and believe that others have the right to disagree with me, It's all about how we choose to express those differences, n'est-ce pas?
Yes I agree. It bothers me too that bullying is ALWAYS assumed to be the cause of such violence, when sometimes it is a plethora of other factors and the person was not bullied at all.
Sometimes, as i have seen in comments on Youtube or other websites, others use bullying to justify such unimaginable actions. It may contribute to the perpetrator's issues and feelings of isolation, but in no way do I feel that a history of being bullied justifies killing innocents.
With the possible exception of the Columbine, the big mass shootings that I can think of have involved victims that were chosen at random and had no association with the killer at all.
Wishing everyone a happy Monday.
Working Woman
"I was told to tweet this" Yes, the dog looked dry- he wouldn't be allowed in the house if wet...
Sure you were, Kate...in for the night- as if that's 'usual' for poor Shoka.
"Big girls" playing Scrabble on their iPhones with Kate in her bed...guess the "littles" still under "penalty of severeness."
It is understandable that we seek a reason or a contributing factor -- anything to explain how such a senseless tragedy can occur.
We want to find the "hole" so we can plug it. Then something so horrible won't happen again.
There is no sane reason. There is no cause that makes sense. Take away one weapon and another will be created.
Something unthinkable happened. We are helpless when faced with such cruelty.
These morning platitudes are getting to be a better pick me up than a cup of coffee, if I drank coffee.
iAm Wise @iAmTheWiseOne
Jealousy is a good indication that you are doing things the right way. People never get jealous of losers.
Retweeted by Kate Gosselin
Expand Reply Retweet Favorite More
4h iAm Wise @iAmTheWiseOne
Don’t do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset.
Retweeted by Kate Gosselin
Expand
48m Life Tools @LifeTools
Be thankful for all the difficult people in your life, and learn from them. They have shown you exactly who you do not want to be.
Retweeted by Kate Gosselin
&&&
That one about doing something stupid when you are upset? Is that supposed to be about the shooting? Talk about over simplification.
Also Kate should know behaving very differently or irrationally when you are upset is a hallmark sign of anger management problems. Get help don't be ashamed.
Looks like Kate, being disrespectful to the actual victims of recent events, is back to victimizing herself.
She retweeted a platitude stating that jealousy is a good indicator that one is doing things the right way.
This one has me laughing my tuchus off today, even though she's posted crap like that before.
Someone should tell Kate that what's more obnoxious than being insanely jealous of someone, is BELIEVING that everyone is insanely jealous of you.
Also, when will Cara and Mady stop being referred to as her 'big girls' and the sextuplets her 'littles'?
Her 8-and-a-half-year-old 'littles'. Oy. Vey.
Working Woman
. People never get jealous of losers.
&&&
Actually this part of it I agree with. LOL.
Someone should tell Kate that what's more obnoxious than being insanely jealous of someone, is BELIEVING that everyone is insanely jealous of you.
&&&
Exactly. There must be a platitude for that one. I can't be any worse than that platitude guy so I'll take a crack at it: "Irrational belief that everyone is jealous of you is a cop out to behave badly."
Isn't bashing your children's father on live television and alienating him, "permanently stupid"?
Wasn't she actually selling photos of her kids to strangers for money in like 2008? Correct me if I'm wrong please. If so, that's permanently stupid if I've ever seen it.
What a grinch.
Working Woman
Good lord, I looked at the twitter feed and Milo is doing exactly what I said that the old guy on this end did. She has already responded to the tweet of Shoka FOUR times. FOUR! She does this routinely. Makes me want to hurl.
Admin - go ahead and delete this if you think it's inappropriate. I don't want to start Monday morning out by causing a dust-up.
RE:
"a reg poster's advice meant friendly :)" or "anon this time but you all know me"
Blech. Posts that start out like that lose all credibility. It's a rather cowardly way of getting in the last word and it makes every intelligent person who is a regular on this blog look suspicious. Please, why not own what you say or don't say it at all? Or email the admin like she always asks people to do.
"People never get jealous of losers."
That's right, Kate. Which is one of the reasons I would never be jealous of you.
"Don’t do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset."
Like pull your kids up by the hair, or whip them into their cribs, or spank them for having a potty accident?
Like having twitter fights with EM Tanner and others?
Kate, you can tweet all the platitudes that you like--that doesn't mean you believe in them or follow them. I've got a platitude for you:
"Practice what you preach".
Enough said.....
"Don’t do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset."
&&&&
This one just really scares me. I understand many people may say or do things they shouldn't when they are upset, but to the level of "permanently stupid"??? That suggests real problems, this suggests a woman who cannot control her emotions. Actually, everything we saw of her on the series AND on twitter. She gets all worked up and turns into a maniac. People press one or two buttons and she explodes into a Twitter war on Twitter. CLASSIC anger management issues.
Here's another platitude for Kate:
"People who tweet platitudes just shows that they have nothing of value to say".
Let's see the things Kate is a loser or lost at.
1. She lost J&K+8
2. She lost K+8
3. She lost at selling her last book.
4. She lost at selling her cookbook.
5. She lost on DWTS & She lost at getting back on getting on DWTS all stars.
6. She lost at at getting her own TV show again.
7. She lost at selling her name on her lame cruise.
8. She her CC job.
9. She lost her battle with Jon GF.
Hmm sounds like Kate is a bog ol' loser.
PJ - read your story last night. It is a lesson for all of us.
We just never know. It is a fine line between friendly overtures from outgoing people and an unhealthy fixation.
I am the former! Not the latter! But, then that is what a "crazy" would say.
Thanks for taking the time to share your experience.
AuntieAnn said... 125
AuntieAnn--I completely and totally agree with you on this comment. It is cowardly and offensive to all the others who OWN what they say.
Kate is a Twit 128, lol. Very true indeed.
Her platitudes are so hypocritical with one another too.
Some of them are rainbows and unicorns, live life to the fullest, be thankful for the gift of life, etc.
Kate, don't you think making the most of your life includes ignoring any "jealousy" and negativity that you feel people might have towards you, that you always tweet platitudes about?
Somebody who is always accusing haters of bullying and jealousy and is so wrapped up in that, is NOT living life to the fullest.
Also, am I the only one who thinks posting ALL of those platitudes makes her look really condescending and holier-than-thou? Like she's Kate the Great, the one who has all the answers to life and how to view everything.
Whatever, as if.
Working Woman
Kate is a twit said... 126
People just don't like you Kate. Its' got nothing to do with jealousy. When are you going to get that through your thick skull? You have done nothing to make people jealous. But in your immature and caddy mind, I guess the fact you made money on a TV show when you know everyone else would have done the same thing if put in your position, is what you believe. Despicable woman. That is what you are. Grow the hell up.
As far as Shoka having a doggie door. I highly doubt it. Kate has written numerous times on both twitter and her website, how Shoka is able to unlock the door and get out, even setting off the alarm a few times.
Yesterday, she tweeted how he "just came in for the night" when the picture was taken. In her blog about the spider killing, she said the spider was discovered "as Mady and Cara called Shoka in for the night". So it does seem like he spends most of the day outside.
Those retweeted platitudes seem to me a (barely) grown-up version of sticking your tongue out at somebody. Similar to blowing raspberries, or saying,"I'm like rubber, you're like glue..."
Only, there's a level of indirection, as is Kate's M.O. If confronted, she can claim her innocence. "Who me? Petulant? That's not me at all...not what I meant, I promise!"
How does she define just simple disagreement then? Because by her definition anyone who ever disagrees with anything is just jealous. Then, by that logic, she is jealous of us, because she disagrees with us. It works both ways.
Kate actually has become one of her own sheeple. It was the sheeple who first started calling the non-fans haters, bullies and claimed that the were "just jellus". This was long before Kate even had twitter.
She just picked up on their descriptions of the non-fans and started repeating them as her own, to make herself look like she's being persecuted by those that don't agree with or like her.
So shoka can find his way in and out of the house and around her property.
He can unlock doors.
And yet Kate can't go to a local radio station without help.
LOL She her dog is more smarter than her?
AuntieAnn said... 125
AuntieAnn--I completely and totally agree with you on this comment. It is cowardly and offensive to all the others who OWN what they say.
====
Thanks, KIAT.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Working Woman said... 181
Kate, quick: name 3 random acts of kindness you've done in the past 37 years. And ... go!!
Posters, can anyone come up with 1 random act of kindess they witnessed from Kate on her "realest" reality show? Anyone? December 16, 2012 2:38 PM
====
WW - Twenty hours later and I'm still working on it. How long til time is up? lol
This isn't random, but Kate's idea of kindness was going to St. Jude Hospital and handing out her book to sick children. Yes Kate. A sick kid's dream is to have YOU stand over their bed and listen to YOUR woes.
She doesn't get it.
I have a lot of issues with bullying in general. It would be interesting to see when the term became this mainstream umbrella label for bad behavior. When kids misbehave, the adults in their lives need to address it, discipline it and move on. But they failed to do that.
Instead, we have all these special assemblies and programs and laws to deal with a problem that the adults should have handled in the first place so it didn't become a problem.
Bullying isn't a kid-caused problem. It's an adult-created problem from lack of action.
heather
Paper Plates Forever! Yay! said... 133
Kate is a twit said... 126
People just don't like you Kate. Its' got nothing to do with jealousy. When are you going to get that through your thick skull? You have done nothing to make people jealous. But in your immature and caddy mind, I guess the fact you made money on a TV show when you know everyone else would have done the same thing if put in your position, is what you believe. Despicable woman. That is what you are. Grow the hell up.
************************************************
BINGO.
WTH is Kate doing twittering those platitudes?
She's the posterchild of failures. As a matter
of fact, doing that only highlights all the embarrassing crap she has done.
Who are you fooling, Kate?
As chefsummer said:
1. She lost J&K+8
2. She lost K+8
3. She lost at selling her last book.
4. She lost at selling her cookbook.
5. She lost on DWTS & She lost at getting back on getting on DWTS all stars.
6. She lost at at getting her own TV show again.
7. She lost at selling her name on her lame cruise.
8. She her CC job.
9. She lost her battle with Jon GF.
-----
It cannot be any clearer that Kate is living in a fairytale all in her head.
Yesterday it was chilly & raining here, so I made a crockpot of beef stew and thought of all you "crockpotters" here. It turned out pretty good, but I think I am going to have to get get another crockpot because it wasn't enough. #newcrockpotcollector :D
You know, one would think that knowing that 98 percent of the people who even remember who you are dislike you and/or are appalled by your behavior, would be, I don't know, MORTIFYING? Devastating? At the very least, humbling.
Kate, on the other hand, draws attention to her huge number of nonfans constantly with her nanny-nanny-foo-foo-you're-just-jealous platitudes, and her orders to the sheeple to "block and ignore haters, join the fun, block and ignore!"
Seriously, why would she do this? Honestly, I give her credit for walking out of the house knowing what is said about her by so many people.
She must really not know what it is to be embarrassed or humbled.
I can't believe throughout college, I never chose to do a psychological analysis on Kate Gosselin in any of my Psyc courses. Wow would that be quite a project.
Working Woman
Heather ~ Much as I'd like to agree with you that parental influence plays a significant part in whether or kids bully or not, truth is, that's not the case. We are acculturated to bullying--as a "survival" instinct, first of all, and then a strategy for social acceptance.
There are multiple studies out there that demonstrate this unfortunate fact, but one that comes easily to mind is a Dateline show. Such a vivid reminder that it takes a village...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stanton-peele/bullying_b_834185.html
Bullying Is as American as Apple Pie
Excerpted article:
Kate Snow produced a show for "Dateline," titled "My Kid Would Never Bully," involving students, hidden cameras and actors playing bullies and victims. The teens were told they were participating in a fashion (girls) or athletic (boys) exercise, while the cool-kid actors bullied the vulnerable-kid actors.*
Oh, and the parents of the real kids (versus the actors) watched the proceedings with Snow. All of the parents expressed optimism that their kids wouldn't allow any bullying, because the parents themselves had told (admonished) their kids not to permit it.
And still, virtually all the real kids stood by while the "mean" girls mocked a girl with offbeat taste in clothing and a heavy girl, and the tough boys physically intimidated the geek -- including homophobic slurs. Very disturbing -- especially since the actors playing the victims had experienced exactly that kind of bullying.
One boy actually spoke up and objected. I don't know about his mother, but I almost cried. He was African-American and non-macho, so perhaps these traits helped him to identify with the victim. But none of the other boys stood up for the kid being attacked.
There was a worse tableau. The mean girls praised the other girls -- let them into the "in" club -- if they joined in the bullying, and one girl really got into it. (Later she was shown crying because she felt guilty for having done so.)
The mothers were chastened, like parents in court when their kids have committed some antisocial act like vandalism.
What this is about is that many -- if not most -- teenagers are walking around feeling acutely vulnerable themselves. Bullying gives one group of kids the chance to boost their self-esteem by belittling others. And the larger group passively consents -- sometimes even joins in, even if it violates their own values -- as a way to attain a higher social niche for themselves.
And nothing can combat the power of that kind of esteem-booster for most children.
In fact, the same is true for adults.
The sad news is that bullying -- demeaning outsiders and "others" as a sign of belonging and in order to feel better about oneself -- is as American as apple pie.
It is heartbreaking to go through bullying.
My mother was bullied as a child because she was very overweight, didn't dress in "cool" clothing, and was the new kid in class in 8th grade. It made her a target in the other students' minds.
Her classmates once passed around a note to one another with this poll: What size tent do you think Janet wears? (Janet is my moms name). She never had anyone to sit next to on the bus, so the bus driver had to actually assign her a seat in the very front. She once faked being sick on the day of a class trip because nobody wanted her to be in their group.
These stories break my heart and make me cry. I hate to think of anyone having these types of stories.
In my moms case, it did permanent damage. She developed an eating disorder , which she still struggles with to this day, and never thinks anybody likes her, ever.
One day she ran into her main bully, whose name was Cindy. She casually brought the bullying up to Cindy and her response? "Oh, I was just a dumb kid."
Yes, even the actions of a dumb kid can scar bullying victims for life. I wish so much kids could see the implications and consequences of this type of behavior.
May we live to see a day that knows of no bullying.
Working Woman
Amen, Working Woman, and warm hugs to your mother. She's obviously a smart & loveable woman--she raised you right, it seems. :)
Why would anyone be jealous of someone unemployed the economy being what it is.
Kate is a twit said... 131
AuntieAnn said... 125
Working Woman said 132
''AuntieAnn--I completely and totally agree with you on this comment. It is cowardly and offensive to all the others who OWN what they say.''
~~~~~~~~~
I also agree with owning what you say. If you can't put your name to it...don't say it! However, I suspect that some (maybe all?) of those ''anon this time'' people are trolls. By saying that, they hit two birds with one stone. They insult the one they want to (usually Admin) and cast suspicion about named posters. Possible?
Remona Blue I have suspected that as well. My guess is that is the case sometimes.
I don't agree with what the anonymous this time posters said in this case. I think admin is actually very open to others' opinions and just tries to explore them and let her own be known.
But, to be fair, this time both anonymous posts were pretty respectful. I agree that that type of concern should be emailed, by normaly anonymous trolls are nasty and don't mince words.
But I agree, I think it happens.
Working Woman
Admin~ Please check your email messages. Not to worry--it's not a diatribe or anything like that, lol.
The posts were over the top respectful to make it seem like a regular wrote it not a sheeple. Not falling for it. Come on I knew that was sheeple trying to create division from the first sentence!!
Thank you for your kind words Improbable, I really appreciate it :)
Also, I understand that anonymous posts are not ideal, so I humbly apologize for having to post that way at times. When I use my iPhone, it does not let me put in my name, Working Woman, it freezes. Inexplicable! When I use my laptop, I can post under the name :)
To remedy it I try to remember to sign at the bottom. But I am sorry, I know the anonymous posts become frustrating.
Hope y'all are having a great day.
Working Woman
Oh wow Bruce Jenner was from Newtown.
Remona Blue said... 148
I also agree with owning what you say. If you can't put your name to it...don't say it! However, I suspect that some (maybe all?) of those ''anon this time'' people are trolls. By saying that, they hit two birds with one stone. They insult the one they want to (usually Admin) and cast suspicion about named posters. Possible?
====
Very possible. I can see trolls doing it. They'll try all sorts of things to undermine the blog.
I just saw that someone asked if I had a book published. Sadly, no, I haven't written any books (only in my head). Sigh.
I think it does take a village to control bullying. But it seems that unless it involves their own kid, people just put their heads down and say nothing. All that does is enable the bad behavior, and around and around it goes.
And the media plays a huge part in continuing the bullying examples. I hate tv sitcoms today because they really aren't plot driven. They are snarky snark insulting remark after snarky snark insulting remark, over and over. I have watched a few episodes of 2 Broke Girls, which is one of the worst offenders. There is really no traditional dialogue, it's just rampant insults and sexual innuendo. My husband makes fun of me, because at times I will watch stuff like Seventh Heaven, just to see people, oh, be nice to each other!
I also think every single one of us on this board can show how we've been bullied at one time or another. Does that mean we are all victims? I don't think so.
heather
Also, random comment re my "experiment" of smiling/saying hello/chatting with strangers:
I was at the grocery store yesterday in the 10 items or fewer line, and I had 10 items. A young guy was waiting behind me, he had just one gatorade. I let him go in front of me, it was just an instinctive move on my part. I just let him cut me, he was so surprised he thanked me twice and told me to have a nice day.
I don't think it would have even *registered* with me to let him go in front of me two weeks ago. Yesterday, it just seemed like a normal thing to do.
It's repetition of behavior. I think because I've been actively "practicing" being nice to strangers, it sort of just happened. And I hope because of it, he did something nice for someone else, too.
heather
I was never bullied and boy was there reason to! Honors kid, band, school plays. My school didn't have a bullying problem. Public school blue collar. For whatever reason there was a very good culture there. I wouldn't be able to say why. Unless you count siblings calling me a poopy head.
My school was very good also. I think it really depends on size. If all the teachers know you, it's a heck of a lot harder to get away with misbehaving. If you are in a school of 1,000 students at the middle school/HS level, I think it may be a different story.
But it is the adults who put up with it. I had teachers who said flat out: zero tolerance for put downs and name calling in MY classroom. Not even in jest.
My point was we've all been called names, we've all been made to feel bad intentionally. We've been in fights with friends and taken sides and participated in that kind of school behavior.
When does it become "bullying?" When does learning how to navigate socially and understanding how to resolve conflicts turn into "bullying?"
If 1 out of 4 have been bullied, then I think our definition of "bullying" is a little off. OR: the adults have let the kids have absolute free reign in the schools.
heather
Heather said...158 When does it become "bullying?" When does learning how to navigate socially and understanding how to resolve conflicts turn into "bullying?" If 1 out of 4 have been bullied, then I think our definition of "bullying" is a little off. OR: the adults have let the kids have absolute free reign in the schools.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Defining terms is the first step toward mutual understanding...and solutions. Here again, from Stompoutbullying.org, is a possible launching point for that:
It's not always easy to determine bullying behavior. How do you know if you're the victim of good-natured ribbing or bullying? Hostility and aggression directed towards a victim who is physically or emotionally weaker than the bully are more obvious signs of bullying. This behavior causes pain and distress for the victim.
Bullying comes In various forms:
Physical Bullying is the most obvious form of intimidation and can consist of kicking, hitting, biting, pinching, hair pulling, and making threats. A bully may threaten to punch you if you don't give up your money, your lunch, etc.
Verbal Bullying often accompanies physical behavior. This can include name calling, spreading rumors, and persistent teasing.
Emotional Intimidation is closely related to these two types of bullying. A bully may deliberately exclude you from a group activity such as a party or school outing.
Racist Bullying can take many forms: making racial slurs, spray painting graffiti, mocking the victim's cultural customs, and making offensive gestures.
Sexual Bullying is unwanted physical contact or abusive comments.
Cyberbullying is one or a group of kids or teens using electronic means via computers and mobile phones (emails, Web sites, chat rooms, instant messaging and texting) to torment, threaten, harass, humiliate, embarrass or target another kid or teen.
A gentle suggestion for Working Woman and Heather. When I spent what felt like weeks, trying to figure out how to be Blue, I was also having to sign in as anonymous. But, I always started my comment with my name, instead of ending the comment w/my name. Would that work for you?
Re bullying and group behavior. I remember going on a school trip in junior high. This was a week-long trip. One of the girls was my friend, but was also often the butt of jokes and teasing. (She wasn't particularly overweight, just slightly chubby. She was average looking. She had a "funny" last name. I don't know why she was the target for bullying.) One day on the trip, all day long, she had been the target of teasing taunts. There were teachers and parents along on this trip, yet not one of them put a stop to the "harmless" teasing going on around them. I didn't say anything either, although I did not participate. But by the end of the day, I longed desperately for my home, where my parents did not allow so much as "shut up" to be spoken and certainly not mean taunts. I broke down in tears and yelled at the students to leave the other girl alone, what was wrong with them? why so hateful? etc., etc. My outburst left everyone stunned into silence.
Later they came to me to apologize, and I told them they should apologize to the other girl, not me. It's hard to break away from a group, to go against the waves. I felt like a fool for crying in front of everyone. I didn't feel heroic, and I didn't do it to be heroic. I was really crying because I was so homesick and hated the negativity. The silver lining was that for the rest of the trip, the other girl was no longer teased. I don't know the answer to bullying, but I do believe that setting the very best example for your children is a good start.
heather here ...
______
A gentle suggestion for Working Woman and Heather. When I spent what felt like weeks, trying to figure out how to be Blue, I was also having to sign in as anonymous. But, I always started my comment with my name, instead of ending the comment w/my name. Would that work for you?
_____
Of course, happy to oblige. I will put my name at top from now on.
_____
Thanks for posting the bullying list.
But it kind of falls in the middle of my point. If I don't get invited to a party, or someone calls me a name, I'm a victim who has been bullied?
When do normal growing pains of learning how to be good person-which includes making mistakes and participating in name-calling, etc., before understanding that it is bad behavior--turn into bullying?
Because by reading that list, hell I've been bullied more than half of my life. Which of course I don't believe is an accurate statement. I think, for me anyway, that there is a difference between bad behavior and bullying behavior.
And to the poster re the school trip: It's awful--but what it took was for someone -- just one person -- to STOP tolerating the behavior.
Heather asked...."When does it become "bullying?" When does learning how to navigate socially and understanding how to resolve conflicts turn into "bullying?"
WOW. Such a good question.
I had an overbite and the "big boys" on the bus called me Bucky. Those big boys were in high school and they teased the grade school girls all the time. I think it was a ploy to look cool in front of the high school girls.
Was I being bullied? I didn't know. I wasn't marred for life because I was teased and nick named with a tinge of unkindness.
We had a young lady in our school who developed early and had HUGE breasts and actually needed a bra. I remember being uncomfortable around her. I think I avoided her. We flat-shested girls whispered about her and she probably knew that we did. Were we bullies?
I think by the standard (and labels) of current society SOME normal childhood behavior is labeled bullying. Maybe that broad definition can dilute serious problems of cruelty.
I think when it comes to bullying I think what needs to be looked at is not just the kids who do it or the kids who get away with it. But I think maybe a great deal of it needs to be looked at also the parents. Kids learn behavior from somewhere. Nobody ever said parents couldn't be bullies. Kids learn by imitation regardless before they even go to school.
Flat out honestly I have been bullied but most of that when you're younger it's, "I'm going to pick on you before you pick on me," or even if it's, "If everyone else is doing it..." The one saying that I've seen countless times in schools, "Well, I wasn't involved and I don't want to get involve." I really do think to cease behavior true bullying you almost have to get involved if people want to see change. It's not just one person's capabilities.
I am not going to share this for pity, sympathy or anything of the sort so please don't. My homelife to most is pobably labeled as severe child abuse but to me it was normal. The situation and the circumstances, I thought it was typical to go to school everyone gets teased, which I did, then go home and I think the ccle of abuse is something you closet because you want to feel normal like everyone else even though at home you know you don't.
The only advice my mother ever gave me on bullying, even after maybe she spent a good amount of time hitting me was, "It teaches you to be tough, it toughens you up. Learn to take it and don't cry about it. Life isn't fair."
And you know now maybe that I'm a little older I can say I could disagree that being bullied, I don't think it toughens you up I think for most kids who are truly tormented (one-on-one at school, cyber bullied to point of no return) it destroys you. On some level, some way those stories that reach out to us they say something about society, why, why do we let it happen.
I look at the parents who have children who bully is where I look. Sure television some kids watch things that for their age aren't always appropriate, they band together so they aren't the ons picked on any number of things or even the worst--it was just meant to be harmless. It may start out that way but a lot of things escceleate quickly.
Why I wonder about Kate and her attitude I am going to hope her kids are great, happy kids they probably are but the behavior you model towards your kids...maybe I'm off the mark but I think anyway parents are responsible to a degree not just the schools.
Working Woman here.
Is this what you mean, Remona?
Thank you for the suggestion :)
RE the bullying issue.
I do not think any of us bully Kate whatsoever by posting our valid thoughts on this blog. However, I have seen a couple of truly vile messages on her twitter account that may classify as bullying, if the term is broad enough. That is why I hate reading those harassing nasty twitter notes from the haters, if feeds right into Kate's self-victimization.
There is a fine line, definitely. In my opinion, there should be some criteria in order for behaviors to be labeled as bullying: e.g the behaviors should be repeated (calling someone a mean name one time is or bullying), intentional (calling someone a nickname that hurts their feelings, like Pudge, that you mean to be endearing for some reason, is different), and causing emotional and/or physical harm.
I do not feel I was ever bullied. I dealt with a lot of exclusion and cattiness from my "friends" during middle school, and it happened often, possibly because I was nice and too unassertive to stand up for myself. But I don't consider it bullying because I don't feel they were trying to cause harm or intimidate me; they were young catty inconsiderate girls. It stopped when I learned to choose better friends. :)
This is a really fascinating conversation by the way
Marie, I am so sorry for the childhood that you endured. I know you have told us that you still live with your mother. I hope she has changed. You seem to have learned how to love.
It is brave of you to share with us.
admin said, Why would anyone be jealous of someone unemployed the economy being what it is.
*****************
Why would anyone be jealous of someone who generates thousands of negative comments on internet articles? Yeah, right...that's what I go to sleep dreaming about every night. Hoping to see more negative comments about me in the morning. I'm so jellus of someone who is disliked and has a reputation for being greedy, and an unemployed grifter. I wish I could be the subject of Robert's book!
I do, however, wish I knew where to purchase her good bra! I think that "my" Santa would like to buy me one!
I was at the McDonalds drive-thru yesterday when another person and I got to the line at the same time. I waved her ahead of me. When I got to the pay window, the guy said, "no charge" and handed me a "You've been RACKED" card (random act of kindness). The lady ahead of me had paid for my order.
&&&&&&&&&
Today I passed the kindness along to the person behind me. I only ordered coffee, but the drive had a complete order with value meals and three kids' meals. I didn't mind. It felt good.
@Kateplusmy8 This just LIFTED my spirits/faith N kids/humankind! Please make sure Mady sees this..#ViolinMusicGift :) http://vimeo.com/52711779
WHAT? Why this tweet? The girls now have iPhones. Certainly with your close friendship with Kate, she would have passed their phone numbers along to you. Call Mady and tell her yourself!
Working Woman here :)
I'm not jealous of her unemployment or the negative comments she elicits, no way.
I'm jealous of the cold, uptight vibe she exudes in interviews and did on her television show. It's sexy!
I'm jealous of her lack of maternal instinct - how'd she get so lucky? I hate mine!
I'm jealous of her inability to hold onto friends. Friends are so overrated you guys, life is so much more fulfilling without them.
I'm jealous of her need to promote her unhealthy eating habits to her young fans. You can "never be too tiny!"
I'm jealous of her materialistic views on life. I wish it were as easy for me to understand that love and kindness don't matter anywhere near as much as money and trips to New York.
I'm jealous of her disregard for her children's privacy. Come on, the world deserves to know when they vomit!
I'm jealous that she has estranged most of her family. Family is such a waste of time, I don't know why everyone says its such a blessing.
Guys, the first step is admitting it. I am horribly, unhealthily, dangerously, jealous of Kate Gosselin.
Court documents online reveal the divorce settlement details between the shooter's parents...
"Marriage therapist Paula Levy recalled Monday that during about 10 two-hour sessions, Nancy and Peter Lanza were respectful of each other and concerned about their son's needs. She says the couple told her Adam Lanza had been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, an autism-like disorder, and they spent considerable time talking about how to provide for his well-being."
Levy says the Lanzas agreed how to divide caretaking responsibilities and as a result said little about Adam's problems."
There's no confidentiality among marriage therapists? That's nice to know. They can just chatter among anyone they want and reveal details of sessions?
According to court documents, "Nancy Lanza, received $289,800 in alimony this year. It was to continue until December 2023, with slight increases each year for cost of living."
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Confidentiality for some professions sometimes ends when the patient or client dies but I don't know what the ethics code is in their state. Also the dad isn't dead. Good point.
According to the stompoutbullying definition of bullying, I was bullied by my siblings. o_0
So it's being bullied when you're at school, but typical childhood behavior when you're at home? Siblings call each other names and hit each other. I don't see parents turning to an inspecting to their own families to stomp out bullying.
I think the definition is being used too broadly. People will be mean, it can't be stopped, but that doesn't make it bullying. Being bullied is much more extreme from what I recall from being in school.
Not being invited to a party? Even as an adult I only invite people I like to a party. I can't agree with that one unless you're doing something really nasty like inviting the entire class except one person.
Kate's tweets about others being jealous of her are just her way of expressing her anger and frustration with her life. Her life has been a long string of failures for so long now, and she wants to blame someone else for it--not herself. Therefore, it must be the haters' fault. Truth is, she "peaked" long ago, and it's all downhill from now on. She was on a high with all the atention from having sextuplets, and then TV stardom. Now the novelty of the tups has worn off, the TV career is a distant memory, and all of her attempts to get back in the limelight and to cash in on the remnants of her fame keep failing. She is unemployed, divorced, estranged from family and friends, with 8 kids to provide for, and she desperately misses the attention and money she used to have coming in. She is angry, and in order to deflect blame for it from herself, she has decided that everyone is jealous of her.
Make no mistake about it, she is angry, hurt, and panicked. Her life is sitting at home, tweeting with Milo. Her money is going out, with no steady stream coming in. Her one friend, Deanna, is busy with her showbiz life. Does K still go to Ted Gibson? I don't recall seeing any refrences to hair appointments/dinner in NYC recently. That part of her life may now be over, too. If anything, people should pity her. No jealousy here!
Confidentiality for some professions sometimes ends when the patient or client dies but I don't know what the ethics code is in their state. Also the dad isn't dead. Good point.
=========
I'd be madder than a wet hen if I were the dad and this private information was being revealed. Huff has the divorce story online.
"The Big Boys On The Bus" -- that was actually a name for a half dozen high school guys. Since my first mention of them, so many memories have flooded back.
Bob, the boldest one, had to do chores before heading off to school. His clothes always smelled like the horses he tended to. He enjoyed lifting his flannel shirt up and forcing it over the head of one of the little girls (me!). We were forced to breathe his animal scent. Our carefully coiffed hair would then be full of static electricity -- just another issue to tease us about.
Today, I guess there would be a case for a bully reports against them. But, then...
We did not have school bus monitors. We would never have thought of involving our parents. Several of them went on to serve in Vietnam. Some stayed and raised fine families in the small community.
They weren't bullies -- they were just the insensitive Big Boys on the Bus.
Don’t do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset.
Retweeted by Kate Gosselin
******
Can you say "Winnie the Pooh tattoo"?
heather here ...
Just saw this, found it very interesting.
"Some Internet news reports have picked up on the fact that Suzanne Collins, the author of "The Hunger Games," which was made into a hit movie, resides in the Sandy Hook village in Newtown, Connecticut where the mass shootings occurred. "
I didn't see the movie, looked too violent to me. Plus watching poor kids forced to kill each other for food (I think that's the premise?) was kind of a disturbing idea.
Normally I don't get too worked up about violence in movies and whatnot but even I found the premise of hunger games rather disturbing.
fidosmommy said... 178
Don’t do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset.
Retweeted by Kate Gosselin
******
Can you say "Winnie the Pooh tattoo"?
_________________________
We can also add her onscreen fight with Tony D. on DWTS. And of course, her CC blog about both Tony and Anderson Cooper.
Those are definitely "permanently stupid", as they are on the internet forever. Even though her CC post is gone, there are still articles about it.
If Kate really believed that platitude, she would close her twitter account. She has definitely tweeted many "permanently stupid" things, many which can also include the platitudes she retweets. Of course, the topper (whether sarcasm or not) was her hashtag about SuperFunSandy.
Look at these pictures of the Newport, CT vigil last night...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/17/obama-newtown-message_n_2315825.html?utm_hp_ref=politics#slide=1889731
The Red Cross was there, passing out blankets to mourners. Many of the shots show distressed citizens, swaddled in the very same blankets Kate made a mockery of a while back.
Seeing these photos, I am angry anew about the seductive photo Kate posted to her website, the one in which she appears naked, save for the Red Cross blanket. I hope she sees these pictures & then views her own behavior with new eyes.
The Hunger Games is a satire of reality tv or the entertainment industry, media control and consumerism...as well as the culture in violence in American society.
Layla said... 175
Great post Layla! Spot on.
Just stopped in to read so I could avoid television for a while. Heartbreaking.
Hope you all have a Merry Christmas ... or a Merry whatever your personal holiday is! :-)
I was a big child. I was tall, athletic, with very broad shoulders and big legs - much bigger than any other girl in my class. I had been a competitive swimmer since I was 4 years old.
I also had curly hair when straight hair was the only acceptable style. I did my best to make it straight (orange juice can rollers?) but by the time I left the house it was a frizzy mess again. And I wore the clothes my mother sewed or knitted herself, although they were quite the style and well made.
I only remember one boy ever saying anything to me about my size. During recess we often played kickball, and when it was my turn to kick, he'd yell "put your weight behind it!" to get me to kick it far. Other than that one boy, I have no memories of teasing. I think I can honestly say I was friendly, nice to people,
easy to talk to and cooperative, so I was generally liked all through school. Even though I was not in the Cool Group, they had no problem eating lunch with me or talking to me
in the halls or during study hall. While I was unhappy about being bigger than everyone else,
it didn't seem to spark any trouble from my classmates. I know how lucky I was about that.
Not everyone can say the same thing.
I got my eating disorders, I think, from my mother's over control of food in our house. In fact, I'm sure of it. That was a tough row to hoe.
I don't remember any snickering about my hair or my clothes either. None. Again, lucky.
I am jelly of one thing that I wish I had that Kate has.
I wish I had tons of money that I could blow on what ever/when ever I wanted.
And that's about it.
Hey Kate take a photo of Shoka with a current news paper.
I dare you to do it.
Layla: I agree with everything you said on your post. The sheeple say we are "jellus" of Kate but I wonder what it is they think we are jealous about. She has no family other than her children, no mom, dad, siblings that she socializes with. Does she ever go to holiday parties? According to Robert and Kate's OWN diaries, she has a small group of friends and I bet most of them are paid, i.e., Deanna and Steve. I cannot imagine experiencing the holiday season without holiday concerts, social events and holiday parties. She does not have a life that I would want. I hope the children this year get to open their newspaper print wrapped gifts under the tree and not by the front door!
Hey Kate take a photo of Shoka with a current news paper.
I dare you to do it.
---------------------
Chef, I understand your skepticism, but a local reported seeing a GS running at the fence, and we did have rain here last night, coming through when Kate tweeted that picture, which would mean that the dog was getting dried when he came inside.
Yes I saw Shoka running along the fence a week or two ago. It is quite a ways from the fence to the house too. I wouldn't want my dog wandering over that huge property. Seems to me she could dig under or squeeze through the slats if she really wanted to, too.
Fido I guess we were both lucky. It really depends on the group. Like I said we had quite a few deaf children. Some kids may have thought they talk funny, acted odd, are different. Somehow at my school they were cool. I think it may have helped that some of the popular kids decided they are cool and not someone to bully. It's surprising how many kids will fall right into line when only a few start a trend. No one wants to bully when no one else is Doing it I think. If you make it something no cool kid does I think that works. I think it also helped that we had some tragedies at school, car accidents, teachers dying, that made even kids feel like bullying just wasn't appropriate.
Dmasy said... 177
"The Big Boys On The Bus"
~~~~~~~~
OH! Big boys on the bus!! What memories have flooded over me. Once, a ''big boy'' tossed a small jar into my lap as he passed me. A BAT came out of the jar, and attached itself to my sweater front. I jumped up, screaming, running to the front of the bus, trying to get the bat off me. The bus driver saw what was happening, and while attempting to help me, the bus went into the ditch, scraping a barbed wire fence, before he got the bus under control. Talk about panic!! He put the ''big boy'' off the bus, and didn't blink an eye that he'd left him about 14 miles out in the country, literally in the middle of nowhere. We also didn't have bus monitors...we just told our parents, who called their parents, and they dealt with the problem. Of course, this was back in ''the olden days'', and we really were 'tough country kids', who were often called to the auditorium for the ''XXX bus riders'' to get yet another firm ''talking to'' about our unruly behavior!
Regarding Milo, I've noticed that as she/he becomes more and more demanding, nosy, questioning, and annoying, that the non-fans have just about "had it" with her. They are calling her out on things and are just generally fed up with these over-the-top tweets. I'm afraid that one of these days it's going to build to a head and things are going to come to a blow.
Improbable times like these are exactly why we said that blanket photo as inappropriate. Unfortunately it took a terrible tragedy to explain why you don't wrap yourself naked and cuddle up on your couch seductively like a woman of ill repute as your tribute to the Red Cross.
A fan tweeted:
XXX
@MiloandJack @Kateplusmy8 @theviewtv I'm guilty of having a macabre fascination w/ crime (e.g., @DiscoveryID, crime dramas, serial killers)
This is the sheeple that Robert quoted in his book as being a lunatic...the one who went off on a tirade about Jon and wished he were dead.
Scary, isn't it?
Realitytvkids.com (Administrator) said... 194
Improbable times like these are exactly why we said that blanket photo as inappropriate. Unfortunately it took a terrible tragedy to explain why you don't wrap yourself naked and cuddle up on your couch seductively like a woman of ill repute as your tribute to the Red Cross.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Agreed! I think it bears revisiting, if only because some people didn't seem to "get" that when we mentioned our objections at the time.
Too bad we don't have side-by-side images to illustrate that point for her.
Remona Blue said... 192
~~~~~~~~
OH! Big boys on the bus!! What memories have flooded over me. Once, a ''big boy'' tossed a small jar into my lap as he passed me. A BAT came out of the jar, and attached itself to my sweater front.
******
Oh cripes! I'm so glad you survived that! The practical joke that caused the bus to run into a ditch is hard to explain to a parent, so I'm guessing that Big Boy had to think hard about why he did that to you!
I'm telling you, if that had ever happened to me they would have had to call the coroner. There is no way I would have survived that. No way. I detest bats and am terrified of them.
(Please, nature lovers, please spare me the
talk about how useful and necessary bats are, how the eat mosquitos, etc. I know all that in my head, it's the rest of me that will never be convinced bats are fine little critters.)
How defensive does one have to be to decide that the world is "jealous" of you? Kate knows exactly how much she is disliked, and yet she can't seem to stop herself from stirring up the negativity. I really do think she is panicking lately. She recently tweeted that she's having trouble sleeping. She looks emaciated in pictures. She's lashing out at non-fans. Those are not signs of a happy person.
It has been more than 16 months since TLC announced that her show was cancelled. More than 15 months since the last show aired. 2 months since she was on her last talk show, and subsequently fired by Coupon Cabin. She is well aware of all these facts, and it bothers her. A lot. She never, ever saw herself in the position she is in now She believed that she was a huge star, and networks would be competing for her once she left TLC. She probably still doesn't understand why that never happened. She was reduced to pleading for a new show on talk shows. Now, she is reduced even farther to pleading for a new show in interviews at her last run. She can't even get on a talk show to spread her message these day. She never saw this coming, and she is frustrated and angry. She obviously believed that Coupon Cabin was beneath her, and now even they don't want her.
No matter how much money Kate made/saved while on TV, she is spending wildly. 6-figure tuition bills, funding her own pilot, lawyers to fight her battles for her. The money will be gone someday. And then what? She said she will work her fingers to the bone, even work at McDonald's to support her kids. She never had any intention of doing any such thing. It was unfathomable at the time she said it--but it sounded good. Now she has to start worrying about whether the day is coming that she will have to actually work her fingers to the bone. And that is causing her tremendous anxiety. Lashing out at non-fans only makes matters worse, but this is Kate--she needs to blame someone else for her predicament. She has never been able to take responsibility, and she won't do it now.
Layla, I have to admit I think you've nailed it.
Kate is most likely very afraid of what her future holds since she has not had any luck at all building a bridge to it. Sometimes fear is a great motivator and sometimes it just freezes you in place with no ideas or plans. It is certainly a reason to lose sleep and to change your eating habits.
Short memories said... 196
To everyone slapping Remona on the back:
''She can be disrespectful. I've seen it! She practically bit the head off of a poster for spelling her name wrong!! She also got very offended that someone tried to give her some medical suggestions. Of course, all her "pals" looked over it, as is the norm for all in the "clique." That's how it goes around here!''
~~~~~
I suppose what some see as biting the head off of a poster for spelling my name wrong, others see (as I meant it to be) simply informing someone that my name was REmona, not RAmona. I also remember my response to the supposed nurse, and was corrected by more than one poster (who corrected me with their normal posting names) and that was when I said I was getting ''testy'', it was past my bedtime, and was off for the night. But you know what? I did NOT write down the names (or even remember) the posters who corrected me. I'm an adult, and able to move past things. If YOU want to keep snarking at me, and it makes you feel better, you just go ahead on, and do it. Ask me if it hurts my feelings!!
There's nothing wrong with Remonas posts. Much like anyone I don't expect the posters here to be perfect, never say anything wrong, never offend anyone. I do expect f you have an issue with someone personally that it not be dragged out publically on the blog. As for the clique if I knew what name you were choosing on any given day it would be a heck of a lot easier to respond to you. Stick to the same name each time you post and be respectful and respond to OTHERS by name and people will respond.
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